Hello 911? My kid is being ridiculously cute. Or disruptive..we're not sure which....
Here were some of the answers.
My uncle is a dispatcher in my home town. He always tells me this story of this 4 year old who called 911 because his older brother farted on him.
The kid hung up the phone a short time after he explained what happened. My uncle said he was laughing too hard and had to wait a couple extra seconds before calling the number back.
The mother answered the phone and he had to explain what happened to her and to make sure everything was alright. The mother was mortified and apologized over and over, my uncle said it was a welcome moment of levity during a stressful holiday workweek.
I had a little one call in to our center about 10 times, just so she could tells us that she loved us and appreciated us, and we are doing such a great job. Our center is pretty big, so she would get a different person almost every time. However, if she got you more than once, she would say something like, "Nonono, I already told you! I need to tell someone else. You're great, but they need to know they're great, too! Okay, I love you, bye!" It was all from a disconnected cell, and we weren't really getting a great phase on her location, but she stopped after about an hour, so it wasn't super concerning. Made my day! I hope she grows up and keeps that big heart of hers, we need more people like her in the world. (They don't necessarily need to call 911, but the point still stands lol.)
I had a little boy call 911 to tell me he was hungry and needed breakfast. I asked him if he was alone and he said no his sister was watching him but she was sleeping. I told him he should go wake his sister to have her make him breakfast, he said she is real mean and she won't be nice to me! I said ok, you stay in the house and I will take care of this. His mom was an EMT so I knew his family, I called his grandma and had her go take care of the breakfast crisis and his sister had no idea. His mom later called to apologize and I just asked her to explain the general rules of 911.
Me: 911 where is the emergency?
Little kid: Uh.. yeah.. I.. we need a.. a vegetarian.
Me: (long pause) A what??
Kid: A vegetarian.
Me: (Silence as I am processing this)
Kid: For my dog he's sick.
Me: Ohhhh.. okay you need a veterinarian. Sorry buddy but 911 is for human emergencies..!
Kid: Oh, okay bye.
Kid had to have been like 10 to 12 years old.
My dad was the Chief of Police when I was growing up, and I spent a lot of time at the station.
When I was 4 or 5, my mom wouldn't let me do something, so I called the emergency line (pre-911 days) and after the "XXX Police, what is your emergency" greeting, I very sternly requested that they arrest my mother.
The dispatcher recognized the address I was calling from and called my dad to tell him that I was on the emergency line and what I wanted.
I got a lecture that night, but from what my dad says, they had a good laugh about it at the station.
My cousin called because she was giving her lizard a bath and it went down the drain. (It was like a tiny house gecko named Steve). She called 911 crying that Steve was drowning and had gone down the drain. By the time the dispatcher figured out Steve was a gecko the police and fire dept were already pulling in. She was like 6 or so and I still tease her about it.....I do feel bad for Steve though.
My son managed to hit the emergency dialer on my cellphone while i was doing laundry. I heard him happily babbling toddler gibberish before saying, "Kay, bye!" And handing me the phone. He pretends to talk on it so i thought nothing of it until i heard, "Hello? Hello?" On the phone.
I apologized a LOT and removed the option for emergency dialing without actually unlocking the screen. The lovely lady on the other end didn't seem too upset by it.
A Guilty Night
My kid was 17 months old and impossible to tie down. While I was cooking dinner he went into the study and somehow dialed triple zero (emergency line in Australia). I think he was trying to talk to his Nanna, but panicked when a stranger's voice came down the line instead.
I caught him and hung up the phone, not knowing he'd actually dialed anyone. Then I went back to cooking butter chicken for dinner. Fourteen minutes later the police are on my doorstep.
They came in urgently, looking for "an old man who might have fallen down". The emergency line operator had asked several questions, but the only response she had gotten was laboured, heavy breathing that she thought was an old man too injured to speak. Luckily for us, it was just sneaky and confused toddler wheezing.
We figured it out and I brought my kid out to meet the policemen. One of them said "Yeah, that'd be the perp. Look at the guilty look on his face." Funnily enough, my kid did have an expression of extreme chagrin. Possibly the first and last time he ever felt guilty for anything.
I LOVE telling this story at work, so if any of my co-workers see this they will instantly know who it is, but oh well.
A couple of years back I got a call from a kid who was about 6 or 7, stating that his brother (who was about the same age) had hit him. This is more of a parental than a police matter, so I politely asked him if I could speak to a parent. "NO!" was his reply. I lowered my voice an octave and said "Let me talk to your mom or dad". Same reply from the kid. I went into semi-angry, but totally serious "ADULT" mode and firmly said "Put one of your parents on the phone or I'm sending the police to 1234 Main Street" (he was calling from a landline so I had his address). He paused for a moment, and then I could hear him start vomiting in the background of the phone call out of fear.
Did wind up sending the police out to chat with the young man as I was never able to speak to a parent to verify that everything was OK - he received a lecture.
Not an operator, but my uncle who is an alcoholic would show up at our house growing up. Usually not a big deal, but usually had to call the police to take him back to the half way house.
One time this happened while my Mom was out, so my brother called 911. When they answered "Hello 911, what's your emergency?" My brother, who was maybe 10, answered "Hello, this is NOT an emergency."
There are some things I just won't say no to. Food, for one. I just love to eat. Bonus points if we're going to go somewhere. Eating can be a very intimate and communal experience.
It's the best, okay? Chinese? Indian? Want a burger? Why don't we hit up a pub somewhere and sit down for a pint and see where our stomachs lead us?
Yeah, my wallet doesn't always like it, but you know what, food is what makes life worth living.
There are plenty of other things out there that people are equally as passionate about. We heard all about them after Redditor fistbump101 asked the online community,
"What is something you can never say NO to?"
"Well, I wouldn't say no to it, but I'd need some pretty darn concrete assurances that it was actually free. People rarely just give away money with no strings attached."
In our time of rampant economic inequality, there are countless people out there who would looove some free money.
"Food. I never say no when offered free food."
To be fair, I think I'd draw the line at a stranger offering me candy...
"Staying in over going out."
You know, even as someone who is pretty much an extrovert... the occasional moment when I've had plans get canceled is a level of joy that I really enjoy experiencing.
"In that order."
"Money, weed, ice cream, sexy times. In that order."
I'm pretty sure Lil Wayne has a song about that.
"Walking in the woods..."
"Walking in the woods when the weather is pristine."
A lovely feeling. Want to feel at peace? Take a nice stroll in the woods. Just make sure to stay on the path.
"My mother's Sunday roast."
"My mothers Sunday roast. And I mean a PROPER. English Sunday roast. With actual gravy, not the American stuff. Roast potatoes, roast leg of lamb, carrots, peas, Yorkshire puddings."
"Especially on a cold, wet, rainy Irish winter day after you’ve just come in from the cold and changed into sweatpants and a warm hoodie. Very particular but amazing."
Oh, you're definitely speaking my language. I love all of that and it's one of my favorite things whenever I'm in Ireland or the UK!
"The best I've done..."
"Buying a pet I want. The best I've done is wait three days but we went back and got the rats."
I hope those rats are doing well!
"Cinnamon rolls and almost anything from Taco Bell that doesn't have beans potatoes or gravy."
You had me until you got into all your Taco Bell stipulations! How dare you, sir or madam! How dare you!
"A big piece..."
"Cutting myself a big piece of chocolate cake."
You had me in the first half, I'm not going to lie.
"A new Xeno game..."
"A new Xeno game from Tetsuya Takahashi and his team."
Ah, I see that you, too, are a person of culture.
Admit it, you have weaknesses too! There is something out there that is your kryptonite!
Have some suggestions of your own to share? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Nothing is forever. It's a grim reality but no matter how hard we try and ignore it, our inevitable demise looms ahead on the horizon.
And while we individually have our unknown expiration dates, the fate of the human race is an unfathomable mystery that will continue to elude us.
Hopefully, the fateful event is thousands of years beyond our lifetime.
Curious to hear people's predictions, Redditor Nuggl3s7 asked:
"What will be the reason for human extinction?"
Redditors had their sci-fi theories.
Remember Pixar's WALL-E?
"Im gonna have to go with the WALL-E theory that we will turn our planet into a giant waste basket."
We Are Not Alone
"Something from space probably, there is some scary stuff in the void."
An AI Revolution
"We merge with AI end become a different species, thus ending homo sapiens."
It might take one huge impact.
We Would Never See This Coming
"Either a massive space object colliding with Earth, or Mother Nature finally gets tired of our sh*t and concocts a virus 10 times more contagious than COVID and several times more fatal than Ebola."
A Big Bang Theory
"A Coca-Cola truck hits a Mentos truck."
"Every human simultaneously stubs their toe at the same time. R.I.P."
Some speculate the big disaster will be one of our own making.
"Generous of you to assume it will be error. Right now there's a large percentage of the decision makers in the world operating by 'This will have catastrophic effects if everyone does it, but it will be profitable if I do it. So everyone else needs to stop, but I'm not going to, and also I'll be dead by the time the really bad consequences happen so f'k all y'all I guess.'"
"For realz tho…no big catastrophe….just a slow drip of f'k you gimme your money while I ruin the world and whattya gonna do about it brah? Nothing, that’s what. If you can’t stop me I’m gonna do it indefinitely. Big fish eat the little fish. Then eventually no little fish left and big fish go bye bye 👋"
There's A Sad Pattern
"Considering how poorly humanity as a whole dealt with this time's pandemic, and how much we overestimated their intelligence, yeah. 5 centuries is a generous amount of time, I give it 3 centuries."
"This, I think it will be our fault and only our fault."
Growing Lack Of Intelligence
"Gross stupidity. In less than 500 years max."
Many Redditors speculated our own shortcomings would inevitably be the end of us instead of a meteor shower or a hostile takeover of extra-terrestrials.
It says a lot about our lack of humanity, doncha think?
There is little more important than a good night's sleep.
But getting a good night's sleep isn't always easy to come by.
As a result, many people have an important ritual or method which helps them fall asleep easily and wake up feeling rejuvenated.
So much so, that if they attempt to sleep without this method or helping hand, they might find themselves staying awake all night.
Redditor AdministrativeFox784 was curious to hear the things which were necessary for people to have a peaceful night's sleep, leading them to ask:
"What is something you absolutely cannot fall asleep without?"
"Apparently hours of sleep deprivation."- RaphaelSoloTired Stewie Griffin GIF by Family GuyGiphy
Give Your Knees The Support They Need
A pillow between my legs."- frann_ie
A Cool Dark Room
"A fan running and complete darkness."- Dangerous_Effort3355
"My fan on, I'll wake up immediately if it turns off."- keznaa
"Darkness."- MekkoLStar Night GIF by TRTGiphy
"I started wearing them when my wife started snoring like a buzz saw."
"Now I can't sleep without em."
"It's almost become a Pavlovian thing where putting them in almost instantly helps me fall asleep."- fartswhenhappy
When Your Mind Is Racing, It Has To Wear Itself Out Eventually...
"An underlying sense of dread and impending existential crisis."- Bigby11
Soft, But Firm...
"A pillow."- NorthernGamer71pillow GIFGiphy
Keeping You Physically And Emotionally Warm...
"A blanket to hug."
"I curl it up and then hug it."
"I love it Soooooo much!"
"I think this is because I grew out of stuffed animals pretty quick, I was allergic to them, they made cough, and I needed something to replace those fuzzy creatures."- plop8624
Stirring The Imagination To Awaken The Dreams
"Either reading a book or watching a relaxing youtube video."- fh3131
It would be nice if we all had on/off buttons which allow us to sleep undisturbed.
But until we do, our own, personal rituals will have to do.
It's very easy to jump to conclusions about a small sniffle... or noticing what looks like the beginning of a rash.
Most of the time, It's easy enough to rub it off as just a cold, or an allergic reaction which might clear up with some lotion, and thus don't feel the need to alert their doctor about it.
Though others might worry that it could be the beginning of something more serious.
But even with that looming possibility, they still avoid seeing a doctor, perhaps afraid to learn that their fears turned out to be true.
Redditor Kith-Kath was curious to hear from people who refused to get confirmation from a doctor that they may be suffering from a specific illness or ailment, leading them to ask:
"What illness do you think you have but aren't willing to get it checked?"
"Probably depression."- Kho-yi-dwags
Hypothermia? Or Chronic Fever?
"I'm always stupid cold."
"Hands and feet especially."- SimplyJustKarma
"My family has a history of cancer."
"I've lately been having a lot of the same symptoms my dad had when he first got diagnosed."- nottherealneal
"I doubt it's full-on schizophrenia, but sometimes I hear things other people don't, or see distinctive things out of the corner of my eyes that aren't really there."
"Idk, one time I was at work and saw a customer in my peripheral, but when I turned to go take their order no one was there."
"Also, I was recently at a park on an overcast day."
"I was chilling on a bench with some friends, and I noticed the mulch moving weirdly."
"We all looked in the same spot at the same time, after I had mentioned it, they wanted to see, and although I saw it happen, they didn't."
"And it wasn't this subtle little movement."
"It looked like tiny little explosions in the mulch."
"At random spots, it would just go flying, like the smallest land mine just went off."
"It was f*cking impossible to miss."
"I have enough mental illnesses as it is, I don't want to lengthen the list." -Reddit
"I think I’m on the spectrum."- TheCanadianRedHood
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
"I already know for a fact I have OCD/Hoarding issues, but I don't have the money or time to deal with it, and honestly, it's not a huge problem."
"But I sh*t you not, watch the show 'Monk' and just imagine the main character is a Black guy in Detroit and you know me backwards and forwards."- ThatGamingAsshole
"OCD and maybe Dyslexia."- UnstableThought
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
"I think I have IBS but don't want to go to the doctor about it."- No-Understanding8583
"Some kind of bowel disease."
"Been having diarrhea chronically."- Reddit
Deafness Or Hearing Loss
"I think I'm going a bit deaf or have some kind of auditory processing disorder."
"My left ear rings and if I am going to understand someone I have to watch them talk to hear them if that makes sense?"
"I have been a bit worried because it has been getting worse."
"I hate having to ask someone to repeat themselves three times before I understand what they are saying."- sfoxx
As we are, hopefully, coming to the end of a global pandemic, it's understandable to jump to worrisome conclusions regarding our health.
But if you think something seems off, and doesn't seem to go away after a day or two, always check in with your doctor.
As it could be the beginning of something much more serious.