
Apparently, some people missed the lesson about how calling 911 should be reserved only for absolute emergencies.
There are apparently plenty of adults out here thinking the 911 line is a much more casual source for help. These people call for offhand questions, minor gripes with a neighbor, even just a touch personal decision.
Don't get me wrong: there's nothing wrong with reaching out for help. But maybe don't clog up the emergency line.
After all, what if a pressing issue cropped up at the exact same moment?
Redditor Atoms_Apple asked:
"What is the pettiest reason someone has called 911?"
Many people decide to call 911 when they're in a logistical jam. Quick PSA: the ambulance is not a free taxi.
The Jig's Up
"Not a dispatcher but when I was in EMS we were dispatched to a psych call. When we got there this lady was standing out side her house ready to go to the hospital."
"On the way to the hospital I was talking to her and trying to get her vitals when she told me there was nothing wrong with her that she heard a family member was in the hospital and needed a ride, so she called 911. Cops met us at the hospital for her."
Direct Line
"I work for small police station but once had 911 put through a caller who then requested that I patch them through to a pizza place so they could order pizza from a 911 only cellphone..."
-- vtphoenix22
Here's Good
"I've been called to make a bed."
"Another one of my units was called to a drunk guy at a bar for 'trouble breathing' said he was looking for a ride into the city. Almost to the hospital he refused care and transport and got out and went where he wanted to go. It's endless"
A Free Show
"I had a guy call 911 just because he wanted to see fire trucks and ambulances with lights and sirens. He miscalculated."
"There was a cop too...and he was not amused. Dude spent the night in jail."
Priorities of That Age
"I tutored a 2nd grader many years ago for extra money. There was some assignment where the question was about when it is okay to call 911 and the kid (seriously) told me that it's you forgot to bring your homework to school."
-- BlueGrotta
Some people just ask for information. It's startling, especially given that the internet has way more information than the poor worker on the other end of the phone line.
An Eye for Design
"I received a call on the non emergency line from a 90-something year old lady asking me what lamp she should put in her bedroom. I told her I did not understand and that the sheriff's office was not the correct place to ask."
"Eventually she got upset and said 'Fine I'll call 911, they'll help me there!' I tried to tell her that 911 would just go back to me and it was a misuse of an emergency line, but it was too late."
"15 seconds later 911 rings, I answer and lo and behold it was the lady asking 'what lamp should I get for my bedroom?' "
Parents Explain Why They Regret The Name They Gave Their Child | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Seasonal Emergency
"Not me, but a close family friend worked taking 911 calls for years. She said the number of calls they get about how to cook turkeys at Thanksgiving time is just baffling."
Eyes in the Sky
"To complain we had the road closed. Then asked when it would open. Then asked if they could squeeze through. No, you can't."
-- leg00b
And some people call 911 when they can handle the rage they feel. Unfortunately, many adults can't seem to work out their differences, so they bring in the big guns.
Well, Not Always Adults
"A classmate of mine in 6th grade called 911 because he lost to his sister in Hungry Hungry Hippoes" -- Ok_Entrepreneur_6942
"I didn't see the 'to' before 'his sister' and I thought it was an extremely high stakes game of Hungry Hungry Hippos" -- Disastrous_Toe_Jam
A Cherished Phone
"8 or 9 years ago, my husband and I had a couple of acquaintances over for dinner one night. They were from our local poker group."
"The 4 of us were having a great time when one of the guys accidentally knocked over the other guy's phone and cracked its screen."
"The second guy went mental. He started yelling at the first guy and demanded that he pay to repair the screen. The second guy agreed to it but the first guy kept yelling and yelling. He called 911 and the cops came."
"He told the cops that the second guy broke his phone and he wanted to file a police report. He asked the cops to force the second guy to give him money to repair his phone. The cops were so confused and annoyed. We were mortified because it happened at our house and the cops knew our landlord."
"We never invited him to our house again."
A Laundry List of Rage
"People who get cut off in traffic are probably the worst inane callers. Like, 'Oh so this happened three hours ago, you don't remember the road it happened on, you don't know the registration of the VOI, there was no traffic crash, and there is not even the insinuation that either party involved were under influence of substances?' "
"Noise complaints are similar."
"People calling the emergency line to complain about being arrested earlier (one once complaining about being charged for abusing the emergency line)."
"I've had a woman call emergency because their sister was refusing to share their food, at a cinema."
"But what is probably more insane is the serious incidents that are started by inane and petty things - once had a serious FDV between a mother and daughter - the mother stabbed the daughter after an argument over the colour of cupcake batter."
Some People Just Love Conflict
"I once had the cops called on me by my neighbor. There was a car parked on the street by his backyard. Not blocking his parking space in front of his house, not on his property, not inconveniencing him in any way. It was not my car or that of anybody I knew."
"Same neighbor called the cops on me for animal abuse. My dog was in my fenced in backyard with a bowl of food and a bucket of water in the shade. Told the cops I chained him up all day and night with no food. I showed the cops the pup and was just like why would I chain up a dog in a fenced in yard?"
"Same neighbor called the cops on me for 'verbal assault' when he knocked on my door and said it was against the law to leave my trash can by the road a day after pick up and I told him to f**k off and closed the door."
"The weird thing is I never did anything to the guy to get him to start this and from what I asked the other neighbors he didn't do that to them."
Food-Themed Spats
"There's too many."
"I once got a call from a family of frequent flyers… a husband's wife ordered the wrong topping on a pizza, so they got in an argument and then she threw a ham sandwich at his head."
"Another time a call came from a woman who just got out of church and the drivethru to KFC was too long… and she wanted an officer to come out and help … 🤦🏻♀️"
"Fun times …"
-- karalynn1982
At Her Own Risk
"Not an operator, but a female customer once called the cops on my coworkers for scaring her too much."
"We work at a haunted house..."
Kept Trying
"When I was 5 I called 911 because my mom threw away some leftover McDonald's fries I had saved from the day before."
"When I was 4 I called 911 because my mom threw away some old toys of mine."
"Damn cops didn't arrest her either time 🤣"
Thankfully, these are the worst of the worst. Here's hoping 911 operators are usually able to focus on what matters.
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I've got a decent amount of animals - some fish, turtles, dogs, etc. - but out of all of them, Optimus Prime is definitely *my* pet.
He's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but a with me he's a the biggest bestest beefaroni boy.
That is an outright lie, this dog is awfully behaved and taught himself how to open doors so he stays letting mosquitos in the house and air conditioning all of South Florida instead of just my living room. I just have a soft spot for him.
But here's the thing - soft spot or not, if someone offered me $50k for this dog, my reaction wouldn't be horror because I just love my "shmoopies" and even can't imagine. I'm not that privileged.
I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
Hmm?
I'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Maybe.
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
Outside
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
- eleven_eighteen
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
- StillAll
Irrational Love
"Great question."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
- To_Fight_The_Night
"Same."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
- joyfall
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
- DoctorDblYou
"I mean $50k is $50k."
- MinnesotaMiller
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
- avelak
Poo Problems
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
- Blastin-Ass
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
- tuffymon
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
- cycloptopussy
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
- RaccoonyDave·
Bye
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
- Inner-Nothing7779
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
- RPC3
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
- Maggy_Monster
$100k
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
- Tobias_Atwood
Medical Needs
"I'd sell."
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
- BlueClouds42
Sick Sh*t
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
- Pepperclue_55
Little Napoleon
"Couldn't sell."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
- Wolfling
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
- NurmGurpler
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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Two years ago I steamed a hole in my belly with a hot water bottle that was slightly open.
I didn't feel myself literally cooking because I have nerve damage in the area, but I still have a quarter-sized circular scar as proof!
I've got lots of scars, but my lobster steam stamp is one of my newer additions so it's kind of a fan favorite right now.
Reddit user jeffcarpthefisheater asked:
"Hey, how did you get that scar?"
and Reddit was collectively like :
"Yes, I would like to tell the story of the time I maimed myself and/or was maimed, thanks for asking!"
It's story time, fam.
Sinus Struggles
"They cut across the top of my head, ear to ear, peeled the top of my face down, carved out my frontal sinuses like a pumpkin lid, put me back together, and stapled me shut."
"Repeated sinus infections in the frontal sinuses. Hard to treat."
- phantomtrain69
Me-Ouch
"My childhood cat gave me a diagonal scar across my chest when I was 5 or so."
"She had jumped from my lap and slipped a bit, the scratch was from her back paws. I was sad when it faded many years later."
- YarnTho
"Hmm, I should check something ... brb ... Hey, my boob scar from my cat is still there!"
"That genuinely makes me happy since she passed away more than ten years ago."
"I've got another one from her on my inner elbow. Both are from the one single time I had to give her a bath because she was having an allergic reaction to a flea medication."
"She was Very Displeased with the situation."
- Pammyhead
Carrying A Torch
"My twin brother accidentally took a blowtorch across my forearm while cutting metal in metals class in high school."
- ecsa0014
"I was cutting some square tubing in shop class with a cutting torch."
"I cut it just fine ... and then immediately picked it up, burning a square into my palm."
- sentondan
Samurai Shenanigans
"From a samurai sword."
"It was the first time I'd ever been around people my age drinking. A friend of mine took a fake swing at me; I grabbed the blade reflexively, he yanked it out of my hand."
"Cut pretty deep, hurt like a b*tch."
"But how many people today have scars caused by samurai swords?"
- Odd__Assist
"I also have a samurai sword scar!!"
"Mines on my right knuckle as the hand guards did not do anything for guarding my inexperienced hands. Nearly completely severed the tendon."
"I was sober and in high school."
- GENERALR0SE
Wild Berry
"Got severely burned by a wild berry pop tart."
"I was very young maybe 7-8. I was sitting on the counter and when I pulled the pop tart out of the toaster, the frosting was so hot it was bubbling."
"I dropped it out of reflex and it landed frosting side down on my leg. I remember brushing it off and my skin melted off with it."
"I had to go to the emergency room."
"Now 15 years later and I still have the scars on my leg, no hair grows where it was burned."
"No one told me poptarts could turn hostile. I was so young and naive, innocent to the world and the horrors it possesses."
"Wild berry pop tart showed me pain, showed me torture, scarred me for life. I shall never forget, and I shall never forgive."
- Snowfreak2507
"That's why I stick to domesticated Pop-Tarts."
- adrianmonk
The Foam Pit
"My legs are all kinds of f*cked up."
"I lost track of which scars came from where, but the ones on my right leg are the gnarliest and those I definitely remember."
"A couple of years ago a friend of mine took me to an indoor bike park. Ramps and jumps and a pump track. It was a lot of fun."
"Well he talked me into going off of this big jump into a foam pit; the kind where you can practice tricks without getting hurt. Well.....I got hurt."
"I landed in the foam pit. It's just that the bike landed there first and I landed directly on top of the bike. Despite the foam padding I ripped my leg to shreds on the pedals."
"Blood everywhere. Thankfully no stitches."
"I'm glad my girlfriend at the time was a nurse."
- Extrasherman
A Cyst On My Spine
"Back surgery to remove a bone cyst on my spine."
"It was squeezing my spinal cord and I could barely walk. That resulted in two surgeries, about a 10" scar down my back, another long one under my armpit (part of the work meant collapsing my lung so they could get to stuff), and a small one on my hip that a bone graft came from."
"My surgeon was great. He rebuilt 2 vertebrae from the grafts, bolted everything together, and I wore a full torso brace for half a year."
"At my last checkup, he said he didn't want to see me again, which I was happy to oblige."
- EvlMinion
Power Ranger Practice
"It was the summer of 1994..."
"I was a Power Ranger practicing some killer ninja moves on the bed in my grandparents' guest bedroom. My head smashed into the ceiling light fixture and one of the shards got me in the leg and sliced it open."
- MichiganBottleDepot
Pizza Rolls And Harry Potter
"Drunkenly decided a French knife was the proper tool for opening Pizza Rolls. It wasn't."
"So I stop with the pizza rolls and grip my finger, now dripping with blood, all the way to the bathroom. I patched it up in the bathroom and went to go lie down on the couch. Except I never made it."
"Woke up on the floor to my roommates shaking me awake, saying that they 'heard a sound and called out, but got concerned' when I didn't answer them."
"I had turned the corner into the living room too quickly in my stupor and smashed my forehead into the 90⁰ angle of my doorframe. Knocked myself out."
"I cosplay Harry Potter every day now. And yeah, the finger scarred, too."
"Drunken munchies made me fight my house and my house won. Two scars, one bad decision."
- Tri4ceunited
You're up, folks. Tell us how you got that scar.
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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