People! 911 is a very busy hotline. It is for emergencies only! In fact there is a law saying you cannot call for any superfluous reasons. This is not the time to be calling over every little thing that just makes you aggravated. The dispatchers have enough on their plate to deal with without our glorified prank calls. Now think before you dial. Are you bleeding? Then call 311 instead.Redditor u/Parakeetman280 wanted to hear from the Emergency dispatch workers out there. We were hoping they'd share a tale or two about those on the other end of the line by asking.... 911 operators of reddit, what was your stupidest/most annoying call yet?
You're a Nurse?school monkey GIF Giphy
I had a nurse (she told me twice she was a nurse before we confirmed the address)... anywho, the nurse tells me she's babysitting an infant. So I'm starting to get into baby CPR mode... again, tells me she's a nurse. I ask her what she's reporting: "Well, like I said, I'm babysitting this infant and cutting his finger nails.
I accidentally cut one Tom short and it's bleeding" Did you cut a part of the finger off? "No. It's just bleeding". At this point, I can give some basic bleeding instructions. But we literally sent an ambulance to help a "nurse" apply a bandage.
My boyfriend and I used to work at an operating theatre at the guest counter and we'd get calls for directions all the time.
My boyfriend fielded one of these calls one time and was just getting more and more annoyed because the person wanted directions but refused to tell him where they were coming from.
I think they wound up hanging up on him and calling back to complain about him... To him.
Some say they're still in transit today.
Services Not Rendered.
I used to volunteer with my local PD and was helping deliver some goodies to the county dispatch center (figure that's a better introduction then "I'm not a dispatcher, but...") While I was chatting with one of the dispatchers who was taking 911 calls, they received a call from a man who immediately starts yelling at the operator.
Once the man calms down, he explains the situation. Apparently, he had hired a sex worker and brought her to his place. After her services were preformed, he refused to pay her due to him not feeling that she did a good enough job to deserve any financial compensation.
Because she was not reviewing her payment, the sex worker refused to leave the house until she had her money and the man was calling to have her removed from the premises. Long story short, the police were sent to the house and both individuals were arrested after admitting to engaging in their activities. If there is a lesson to be learned here, it's to not call 911 on your hooker.
The HowlBasketball Howling GIF by Worcester Wolves Giphy
I got an emergency roadside call about 11pm. Im getting some information and I ask where she's located..."I'm directly beneath the moon. They'll see me." And she hung up.
Just hang up....
The list of stupidity is ridiculous. A few of my favorites:
- Female caller is screaming her absolute head off on picking up the phone. It sounded like her house was on fire and everyone she ever loved was being murdered in front of her eyes. The issue? She had never been in a hailstorm before and it was scary.
- Male 911 caller says he has a question and no emergency. Ok, go ahead. "Yeah so if I'm driving and the speed limit sign says 40 and I'm going 42, is that like....speeding?" ....Yes. "Ok that makes sense, thanks."
- Male caller says his friend accidentally shot himself in the leg in the car. After getting a bunch of info, we go down the medical side of things and I get to the question "is the bleeding serious?" - male, "I can't tell." - ok, is it spurting or pouring out? - "I can't see, I need to take his pants off...BRO DON'T MOVE I NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!" - me, what? No, no with his pants ON, I need you to tell me if he is bleeding! Only time I openly laughed on a 911 call.
I have more!
"hey there's this car on fire!"
I work with a lot of police officers. I got ragged shamelessly for calling in a panic one day and yelling incoherently about a car in a parking lot.
I was driving home and there was an SUV that was on fire at an abandoned gas station but somehow I forgot to tell the dispatcher that the CAR WAS ON FIRE and just kept yelling that the car was dangerous and someone could be killed by this parked car....
...they finally calmed me down enough to ask why it was so dangerous and I was like "what? It's on fire! It could blow up! Or cause a forest fire!" I could hear the dispatcher rolling his eyes as he told me I should've started with "hey there's this car on fire!" versus "I'm at a gas station and there's this parked car." I was 17 or 18, I know better now.
Thaw it Out
I was once called to a woman's house who said she was trapped inside in the middle of winter. I showed up at her home to find that there was a 3 quarter inch of ice stopping her screen door from opening. I opened the door mildly hard and broke the ice to open the screen door.
Not my Issuesmh GIF Giphy
The most recent one was a woman requesting someone respond to adjust her air mattress because she was having difficulty falling asleep.
I had a kid call once on Christmas Eve, upset because his dad wouldn't let him open his gifts early. That one was pretty cute, the dad was embarrassed but it was one of my favorite calls.
A woman called from the big city in our area that was about 11 miles away and complained that her 18 year old daughter wouldn't go to school. The operator explained that her daughter was an adult and couldn't be forced to go to school. The mom called back two more times to complain about and and called back a fourth time to say that her daughter had now run away.
EMERGENCY!!Teen Titans GIF by DC Comics Giphy
When I was 3 I called 911 because my toy ball was stolen.
It was awkward when the police came and my parents had to explain the situation.
My wife has the story of the woman who called because her baby wasn't breathing.
"Ma'am", she says, "How many children are in the house"
"1", the caller replies, "WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT MY BABY ISN'T BREATHING"
"Ma'am, is that crying I hear on the line your baby?"
"YES MY BABY IS CRYING BECAUSE SHE CANNOT BREATHE!!!"
My wife of course had already dispatched the ambulance, but apparently the baby had just been crying for an hour and this woman was convinced the baby could not cry and breath at the same time.
Also, the amount of people who called with an upset stomach was boggling. Like, go take a crap guys.
Her stories about that job really did a number on my faith in humanity.
When you gotta go....Screaming Season 8 GIF by RuPaul's Drag Race Giphy
One time my sister and I were in an argument and I wasn't talking to her. She came home late at night and I happened to be in the bathroom with the door open. All she could see was my feet sticking out as our toilet was sectioned off.
She ended up calling 911, scared as hell that someone had broken into our house and decided to use the bathroom. I went into my room without saying a word. She figured it out moments before the cops arrived. Needless to say, one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
My mom used to work at the emergency line for OnStar and would often receive reports of suspicious cars, & OnStar would have too notify the police whenever someone would call about that, which makes sense.
However a lot of people would call, "Theres a green car on the highway and it looks suspicious."
No other details than that, and she would have to call the police, too tell them "We got a call about a suspicious green car.
Im not a first responder but i was a security guard at a hospital and we got called in to stop a woman from hanging herself with her scarf. When we got there she was on the floor and the scarf tied onto the seat of a chair.
School is a 911
This is a true store, a kid calling so he could get help on his home work lol.
Lol heard that call. The dispatcher was so nice, he asked him what he needed help with, lol. The mom yelled the kids name in anger when she heard what he was doing. I bet he got a huge lecture. The kid remembered if he needed help to call 911, just forgot the emergency part, lol.
Halloweenjamie lee curtis halloween GIF by Entertainment Weekly Giphy
Where do I begin? Halloween night some lady called 911 because she lost her car keys, said she "wasn't sure if she was calling the right number." We've had people call asking for directions, reporting a black teen walking down the street; that person got hung up on. Someone called to report a suspicious vehicle on their street and it turned out to be our police car... which was marked.
I know you....
Not a 911 operator but I have called quite a few times for one stupid reason (it's 999 in the UK but whatever). My phone has a feature where I double tap the lock screen button and it calls 999, and a single tap happens to be snooze for the alarm. Just like anyone else I set an alarm to wake to for my Uni classes everyday and a BUNCH of times I ended up double tapping somehow and the same lady would pickup and I'd tell her it was a mistake. Once she even recognized my voice cuz it happened so often and she cut me off and asked if it was a mistake lol. Luckily she was nice and the calls didn't affect anyone because they lasted only a few seconds.
The Leaves of Evil....
Former 911 operator and the STUPIDEST calls I would get were people complaint about leaf blowers. Yes. I worked in an affluent city and it was always the same pretentious people that called to complain about landscapers their neighbors hired using leaf blowers too early in the morning. It got so bad the city was forced to pass an ordinance restricting the use of leaf blowers before a certain time in the morning.
Most annoying today? Or overall? We routinely deal with the worst side of people and deal with daily/hourly annoying calls.
Some of the worst are the "frequent flyers". Multiple alcoholics in town call regularly for rides home. People calling on their neighbors for literally everything. People treating us like information and being fools when we tell them we aren't.
Think about the worst, most annoying tattle tail you remember from school.... They are worse now that they grew up and they rarely call about actual emergencies.
Madame Presidentover it eye roll GIF Giphy
Not a dispatcher but i work in a jail. This is what we saw on the call notes for a call that came into dispatch recently.
RP lives in insert super expensive neighborhood name
RP saw police car drive by, wants to know whats happening with her people
RP stating she is president of HOA and has legal right to know
RP transferred to deputy.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
What's that old saying? "Make sure you're always wearing clean underwear in case you're in an accident. What would the medics think."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get it.
That saying can be applied to many aspects of life.
What "surprising" items are hidden in your drawers? Or under you bed?
Or dear Lord... what is on your phone?
We all have ownership over a belonging or six that could cause quite a stir.
Especially if we aren't there to explain it's existence.
Redditor churned_applesauce wanted to hear about all the belongings many of us have that could cause quite a stir.
"What is the most controversial thing you own?"
I'm not telling you mine.
I'm not that brave.
But let's see who is...
"I have an old Iraqi bill with Saddam Hussein's face on it. It's worth about 17 cents according to Google." ~ postsingularityGiphy
"My grandfather went to the World Scout Jamboree in the Netherlands in 1937, and while he was there he traded patches and gear with some scouts from Germany. By 1937, the German boy scouts had transitioned into the Hitler youth, so I own a Hitler youth boy scout uniform with a bunch of swastikas on it." ~ iamagainstit
"My family owns a petrified walrus penis, my grandmother took it to get it identified at the Smithsonian several decades ago. Apparently her grandfather or maybe it was her great-grandfather brought it home after he spent several years on some type of expedition up around northern Alaska and points north."
"It has been loaned out to several museums at different times. The family has talked about selling it but everyone has to agree and so far there is no agreement about selling it. So I own 1/67th of a petrified walrus penis." ~ Robyn_withaY
"When I was 18, I bought a print of a 1918 German zoo advertisement from a thrift store. I thought the artwork was neat. It had a leopard on it and I was completely cat-obsessed at the time. Turns out the artwork was by Ludwig Hohlwien. He would go on to produce Nazi propaganda." ~ wolfmoral
"An ornate, Boer tobacco jar from the 1800s. My great grandfather looted it off a dead militiaman during the Second Boer war." ~ deathtotheminutemenGiphy
Nothing too crazy thus far.
Hey, to each their own.
"I have a glass vial/small bottle of pure histamine. If anyone would be exposed to this they would get a deadly allergic reaction. I have it double sealed." ~ TheRealMonrealGiphy
Holiday in Kenya
"A complete ivory and ebony chessboard bought a sale of confiscated poacher stuff to fund elephant preservation. When I lived in Zambia and was on holiday in Kenya. My dad bought it and I got it as a hand me down. We were friends with someone who owned an animal sanctuary and their security had shot the poachers as far as I remember. They had a parentless baby hippo as well. It stole my sister's chewing gum and tried eating their cat. It was moved further away from the main houses after it tipped over their Land Cruiser." ~ xxrumlexx
"I wanted a chinchilla really badly as a kid, but my parents said hell no. One Christmas my grandma got me a teddy bear made out of chinichilla fur. Luckily my parents told me it didn't hurt the chinchilla its just like getting a hair cut for them, but they were like WTF to my grandma. I now know better and am also like WTF grandma." ~ lebrunjemz
"I have a set of small bone carved snuff bottles from China (dated to the 19C) with explicit images on them. They’re kind of curiosities in themselves but when my in laws separated my MIL called my husband and asked him if there was anything in the house that he wanted and he said, nothing but the explicit snuff bottles."
"She took them and left them with a note that said ‘I’ve left you, please don’t contact me again. I’ve taken the snuff bottles; they were the only things in the house I liked.' After their separation we got all sorts of controversial hoardings, including a suitcase full of ivory and an abundant collection of Enid Blytons first edition books." ~ waireti
"I have a few Ivory jewelery pieces from the early 70s my parents bought back from Botswana, and a poison arrow kit. Mum has the 3-metre long python skin she just put in her luggage from back then too." ~ Icy_HippoGiphy
Who doesn't have cursed or ancient jewels hidden somewhere?
At least nobody on this thread mentioned faces or eyes.
That's what I was waiting for.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I'll be honest, for most of my life I have had exactly zero daily routine.
The chaos was something of a calling card—but not one that was necessarily good for me.
Spoiler alert, I had a raging case of undiagnosed neuroodivergent shenanigans—and in recent years I've been able to get a better handle on being me.
As a result, a daily routine has sort of developed.
Reddit user Money-Associate1601 asked:
"What’s something you look forward to every single day?"
A few years ago I wouldn't have had an answer to this, but as I read through I suddenly realized that I have one.
Also, that I enjoy it!
Mornings spent relaxing in the hammock before my day gets punted into shenanigans by my kids, my dogs, my job, or some unholy combo of the three have become crucial for my mental health.
Huh. Who knew?
Let's see what Reddit loves about their routines.
Going To Work (!)
"Going to work."
"It sounds strange, but I love it because I'm working with my son. He’s 23. I’m 50. We spend M-F working together building homes. We laugh all day long."
"It’s the happiest time of my life. I know it’s finite, so I’m enjoying it as much as possible while it lasts."
"This hits me(23) so much. My dad (50) gave me a job at his company a year ago and always tells me how proud he his of me."
"Just before Christmas he got sick and almost died. When he got out of the hospital he told me how much he cherished our relationship and how it meant everything to him."
"It makes me emotional every time I read things like this."
"My brother and I did landscaping together on the weekends. We use to complain about it, but after we sold the business I really missed spending time with him."
"What I miss the most is eating lunch together and riding home after a long day."
"Changing out of work clothes and into pajamas"
"My pajamas are my real clothes. Everything else is a facade."
"The best thing about the pandemic: I work from home all the time and I can wear pajamas all the time!"
"Sometimes I get home by 3pm from work and get right into my PJs."
"Even if I’m going out later, I’ll just change out of my PJs when I need to. If I’m home for an hour or longer, I’m in my PJs."
"It’s the only way."
Pick Up Time
"Picking my daughters up from daycare."
"As soon as they see me, they drop whatever they were doing and run to me with the biggest smile on their faces and yelling 'Daddyyy!' "
"The absolute sh*ttiest day at work just disappears in that moment."
"Basically anything to do with my kids. Waking them up for school and hanging out in bed for those 5 minutes in the morning is always so much fun."
"Meeting my daughter off the bus from school. Seeing my son when he gets home from preschool and just wants to play."
"Kids are the best cure for a sh*t day at work."
"My 2 year old screams 'IT’S MOM!!!' in absolute delight every day when I get home from work. Nothing else compares!"
Employee Of The Month
"My baby dog’s big morning stretch. He's actually a senior but he will stay about 5 lbs for forever, so we call him our baby dog."
"Oh! And then watching him go back to sleep in his office bed when I start work. He works so hard. Employee of the month, every month."
"I love working in the morning and then at about 11 am my dog finally gets up. She does her morning back scratches on the carpet and then demands snuggles."
"It's my favorite unscheduled break time that happens daily."
"My cat Ygritte is my supervisor. She works so hard sleeping and making biscuits on blankets/beds/boxes with blankets."
"She yells at me if I stop working, yells at me when it is break time, and starts getting in between myself and my computer 15 minutes before the end of the day."
"She won't stop until I clock out, it is her everyday being like Nahhhhh you done. Pet me instead."
"She is the best boss I have ever had."
"I live at a friends family house. They offered me shelter after I became homeless and every night I go to my car to read."
"I find that reading in my car every night before going to sleep gives this family a chance to get a break from seeing me and I get a chance to be calm and away from everyone."
"They are amazing people and It’s been so fun. I’m so thankful that they let me stay in their living room, but they tend to use it at night to watch a movie or have family time so I take a chance to let them be and I get a chance to learn something and relax in my car."
Fueled By Coffee
"My morning coffee. I get a different coffee every week and drinking it is the most relaxing part of my day."
"I had a Colombian blend last week, this week I got a black roast that is so strong I swear its making me grow a beard."
"I'm up at 5 every morning for 'me time', which you dont get with 3 small kids and making my coffee and staring into space for an hour is amazing."
"Coffee is mine as well."
"I love to get a big-ass black coffee with a little cream, put on a good podcast and chill out for a bit while I wake up. Quite possibly the only thing I consistently look forward to every single day."
"YES! I set up the coffee pot the night before, every night."
"In the morning my husband gets up to start it and crawls back into bed while it brews. When it's ready he puts his robe on and quietly brings me a cup, sets it on my nightstand and goes into the living room to peacefully wake up on his own, staring at his phone."
"In between alarm snoozes I briefly wake up and take a few sips of coffee. After several snoozes, I need a refill and that's usually when I get up to join him. It's such a great way to wake up, I love it so much."
"Some mornings he has to just get up and go off to a job site but no matter how early it is, he brings me a cup of coffee in bed before giving me a kiss and going. He's the best."
"That mid-day text from my husband, asking me if I can please come home early because he and the dogs miss me, usually accompanied by a photo of the 4 of them looking wistfully at the camera."
"It never, ever gets old. So thankful for all of them!"
"Ugh. Mine always wants to know when I’ll be back because he wants something."
"Oh my god I want this. You are so lucky."
"I also want this in my life."
"All I get is calls/messages from scammers or customer service."
Observing This Scene
"The sheer, spontaneous joy my dogs have when my wife gets home."
"I tell them 'Who's home?' Then they hear the garage door opening and know Mommy's Home!"
"Batsh*t-crazy pandemonium ensues until I open the side door of garage. Even cuter, my wife is just as happy to see them, too!"
"Nothing beats observing this scene every day, for 11 years."
"I adopted a little baby potato two years ago. Now he’s a big old spaz and he has an absolute fit with joy whenever daddy gets home from work."
"He’s so excited he can’t even sit still for pets and kisses. Jumping up and down on the furniture, running around in circles, pure happiness."
"I have 30 mins in my day in between work where I just sit on a bench in this park."
"No phone, no earphones, nothing but just me enjoying the sound of birds and whooshing of the trees. Feel most at peace during that time."
"I have recently started doing this towards the end of the day."
"It has started filling me up with peace and enthusiasm. I highly recommend this. Half an hour, daily, setting sun/rising sun, somewhere not too noisy, near water if possible."
"Time like this is essential! Good for you for giving it to yourself!"
"The last 15 years of my working life was running a route, checking into about 235 businesses each month. It kept me very busy, I seldom had time for lunch over 1/2 hour."
"I always thought how nice it would be when I retire, to have time to set down and actually enjoy lunch."
"Fast forward 5 years, I've been retired and now I get one full hour of lunch and reading whatever book has my attention for those 5 days a week instead."
So what have we learned today, dear readers?
The thing most of these Redditors looked forward to was a moment of peace or affection.
Whether it was from a pet, a kid, a book, or a hot cup of coffee it seems people wanted a literal or proverbial hug.
Does that track for you? What's the part of your day you look forward to most.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
TikTok trends move fast. The hashtags and popular "sounds" go in and out of popularity sometimes within a week.
While some trends are fun and catch at first, if they're dragged on for too long they can become annoying and even painful to see repeatedly.
Some of them are even harmful, like pranks that other people didn't consent to. It's not new to TikTok, but the easily marketable platform didn't help stop them.
We went to AskReddit to hear which trends make people the most angry.
Redditor JaneDoe1967 asked:
"What TikTok trend gave you anger issues?"
This list might make you angry, so reader beware.
Dancing while oversharing.
"The ones where they dance to some sh*tty choreography and tell a super personal story. You’re going to do the stanky leg while you talk about your mom’s cancer? Strange to me lol."
"There was one where a daughter danced in front of her very ill dad who was lying on a hospital bed."
"There's also the one where a mom dances next to her newborn that's hospitalized."
Harassing people in public.
"Harassing innocent people who are just trying to buy groceries."
"Back in Vine days, I was at Walmart getting acrylic paint for a theater project. It was like 1am and my sister and I had been awake for hours trying to finish a project for a community theater show."
"Then some blonde kid runs up with an air horn and blows it in our faces and runs away."
"Our friends start sending us his video saying 'omg is this you and sister?!'"
"It was Logan Paul. F*ck that guy."
"Logan Paul video. This was surprisingly easy to find."
The fake pranks.
"The fake pranks with the extremely over exaggerated reactions, and perfectly scripted dialogue."
"I die a little bit every time one sneaks-in on my For You page."
"I hate pranks. I mean some are funny but most are just cringe whether they're real or not. Especially when targeted at kids. I think that's just mean."
"Any 'prank' video where someone leads their SO to believe they are being cheated on"
"Like there was one where someone would pretend to accidentally text their SO 'they're gone now, you can come over' and then film their SO's reaction."
"Like that shit isn't funny, and I would 100% breakup with someone if they did that to me."
"My favorite is the one where some dude tried this and his girl dead a** broke up with him because it was such a sh*t joke."
Not really adding to the joke.
"Lip syncing standup comedy. Your silent delivery doesn’t not enhance the joke, it makes it weird."
"Oh, and duets where it’s just the other person reacting/laughing. Especially when they’ve obviously seen the video before and are faking it this time."
"I do not understand reaction videos. Like why do people watch them? Is it to validate their own reaction?"
Licking ice cream and putting it back.
"That b*tch who licked a tub of ice cream then put it back in the supermarket fridge."
"I was a retail worker during that time, and that was hell on earth. Most ice cream companies at that time actually didn’t have plastic seals over the product. So people were demanding to know why the seal was broken when it was never in fact there. Now about 90% of them do have seals. Long story short: I got yelled at a lot and we had to throw out/send back a lot of ice cream."
The "Oh No" song.
"Oh no Oh no Oh no no no."
"It’s such a shame because the original, by the Shangri-Las is an absolute banger."
Videos that need a second part.
"Anything with Like for Part 2. All videos that are multiple parts drives me up the wall because you cant just scroll to the next you have to move to their page and find your last watched then go up from there its frustrating. I feel old."
"If there even is a Part 2. Sometimes there isn't. And sometimes they post the Part 2 months later so they're hard to find. At least we can say the youngsters know how to get attention."
Exploiting disabled people for views.
"Filming their autistic or mentally challenged relative that is clearly incapable of consenting to being the subject of all their TikToks."
"I hate the TikToks of kids that are disabled and the parents say they're 'raising awareness' K cool but I don't need to know your kids private health information."
"Yeah they can raise awareness about a disability or disease without plastering videos of their kids all over the internet."
Faking illness or neurodiversity for fun.
"People faking disorders of any kind and think they 'quirky' or 'cool,' depression and ADHD is not a fun combination."
"Exactly. I have a handful of the disorders that are constantly being faked (including tics) and I swear to f*cking god you can immediately tell who is faking because they. Are. Not. Fun. Tics f*ckin hurt."
"The most f*cked thing is they make the disorders look like some sort of joke."
If you haven't heard of these before, don't look them up.
It will probably only incite rage upon seeing them.
Or you'll be left with a song stuck in your head.
Hopefully, the trends that are harmful to others end as quickly as they took off.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Games are a great form of recreation.
They can bring us closer together with friends and family (or drive a wedge between us—looking at you, Mario Party), and provide an excellent way to blow off some steam by ourselves.
Not all games are totally straightforward about how you win them, though. Sometimes you win the game by losing.
Redditor sidasauras asked:
"What is a game you win by losing?"
"You win at golf by playing less golf than everybody else."
"Yeah but generally you play more golf to hopefully play less golf."
"I've never played any golf, so I win by default."
"i'm not golfing right now and i'm kicking ass at it."
"Pumping up an auction so the winner pays more. I need Kevin Garnett to pay more for that black opal."
"The trick is to scout out your escape routes so you can bail if they don't raise above you at the end."
"There’s even an economic term for that; it’s called the 'winner’s curse.' If it’s an item with a specific but unknown value (not something like a painting that has subjective value), the person who most overestimates the value of the item will win the auction."
"Monopoly, because once you lose you finally don't have to play anymore."
"Games like Monopoly you have to play to absolutely crush everybody else, by clever use of the actual rules, so nobody ever asks you to play again."
"this also works for most games. For games that allow a "shared" victory, you still crush everybody, for the same reason."
"Yes, for example, you don't build hotels unless you have the cash reserves and open property to immediately rebuy all the houses."
"There is a finite number of houses. You don't add more when you run out. In this way, you have 3 properties, with 4 houses each, so you have 12 houses off the market."
"The only time you build a hotel is when you can rebuy those 12 houses in one turn in order to not let your opponents buy them. It's about creating an artificial scarcity to starve out the competition."
"You only progress in the game story-wise by dying, so yeah."
"Can’t wait to play this game. Heard such amazing things."
"I was going to say hades. Brilliant game, dying doesn't make you mad or set you back."
"Played that with rum on my 30th birthday. I even remember part of it."
"My friend and I made a really good beer pong team. One night he had beat everyone else at the party, some of them twice. Then we got cocky and started playing with whiskey to our opponents’ beer. Our play deteriorated quickly and we got very drunk."
The Mad Magazine Board Game
"The Mad Magazine Board Game"
"Had that! Took it to school to one day to play it with friends. Forgot to bring it home. It was gone the next day."
"That's the one I was looking for. A friend of mine is a bit of a collector and he has that. We were talking about Monopoly one night and he later broke that out for us to play."
One Night Ultimate Werewolf
"One Night Ultimate Werewolf has this as a character class."
"The game is divided into two teams - the villagers who are trying to hunt down the werewolves and the werewolves who are trying to get the villagers to execute an innocent person. But the game has a few fun roles which mess things up."
"The Minion is technically a villager, but he's on the Werewolves' team. He is trying to get a villager killed in order to ensure a Werewolf victory, but if sowing discord doesn't help, he can let himself become the prime suspect and get voted to die, which causes a Werewolf victory."
"The Tanner card, however, is just trying to get themselves killed. He hates his job and he hates his life and expressly wants to die. He is trying to ensure that he is killed by whomever."
"The Tanner is technically on his own separate team and is trying to convince the others to kill him. If he is killed at the end, then neither the Villagers or the Werewolves win - he's the sole winner and the two teams lose."
That One Episode Of Fear Factor
"There was an episode of Fear Factor where a group of guys had to milk a goat with their mouth. The guy that lost said something like "well at least I suck the least" and walked off like a boss."
"I know that’s the point of the show, but I seriously wonder how people could throw away their dignity on TV for money."
"But seriously, what writer is in an office brainstorming these things??? 'HOW ABOUT WE MAKE THEM SUCK MILK OUT OF A GOAT WHILE THEIR S.O. IS DROWNING IN CONCRETE'"
The Game (Yes, That One)
"The one you just lost by remembering that you're playing it."
"I was looking for this comment. OP made me lose again."
"There was a long period of time where I forgot how you played, but then I read a comment explaining the rules, and I sadly lost once again."
Games With Kids
"Any game you play with a little kid...it's actually hard to lose sometimes"
"Kinda cute when you're throwing and they're giving their all and barely beat you. My nephew learned not to gloat too much whenever he wins. Rematches where I absolutely crush him tend to happen if he's a sore winner."
"I learned Pinochle - a trick-taking card game similar to Euchre or 500 but with points for card combinations awarded ahead of the tricks - from my grandmother. At one point, when I was a brash teen, I made the mistake of taunting her with something to the tune of 'you can do better.'"
"She's a wonderfully gentle old lady, and she doted on her grandkids - but she learned Pinochle from her father, my great-grandfather, and he played to win."
"I found out that day that she could too."
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.