911 Operators Reveal The Most Interesting Reasons People Have Called Dispatch

Y'all know there is also a "Non-emergency" response number to call?

Is everyone not aware that calling 911 frivolously is a crime? It is. Those poor people on the other end are balancing life and death every other second, the last thing they need is us tying up the line with lunacy. And unlike the rest of us, 911 dispatchers are not aloud to hang up on you no matter how asinine you sound. They have the patients of a tortoise. However, some of the tales they could tell have got to be genius.

Redditor u/SeargantWasp wanted to hear how everyone is using 911 as more of a hotline by asking.... 911 Dispatchers of Reddit, What's the most interesting reason someone called 911?

Sounds about right....


A guy wanted to go to the ER because he drunkenly pooped his pants after drinking cheap vodka and eating taco bell. _CattleRustler_

Pretty standard Saturday night at my house. Minus calling 911 to tell someone. Moleypeg

Dumbo? Is that you?

I've told the full story before, but the short version is that a lady called 911 to ask if we were the people that dealt with the elephants. I told her that we were and she proceeded to inform me that there was an elephant in her room. Usually it was a really nice elephant but tonight it had a gleam in its eye and she was concerned.

Dementia is a funny thing sometimes. TheOtherCrow

Violence is violence.... 

One of my more memorable was the lady who called while coming to the station and she wanted to report a domestic disturbance.

Had her continue to the station but what she failed to mention was that the domestic was between her 24yo son and the dog. Apparently the son yelled at and pushed the dog out of his room because it was interfering with the fact he was in the middle of having sex with his girlfriend.

Mom wanted us to interview the dog before arresting her son after getting the dog's statement. Just the for the record the son was not arrested and the dog was not interviewed. 1_disasta

You're innocent Sir. 

We had a guy with a mental disorder keep calling every few days asking us if he had run over someone. He couldn't relax until we said "No, ______ you didn't run over anyone. Everything is ok." Sometimes he would come by and have you check under his car. Poor fella. Feenix342342

Pleasant Conversation...


I'm not a dispatcher. My dad has dementia and keeps calling 911.

I feel sorry for the dispatchers.

He never remembers why he called. Although this last time he told my mom "they don't seem to mind." jn29

Stay Calm... 

My dad is the dispatcher. Got a call once from someone completely out of their mind, barely able to articulate themselves. Kept screaming. But he could make out that there was an unresponsive woman. Nothing more. Following his training and the guidelines he made the guy calm down a bit, check for a pulse and when there was none told him to do CPR. You learn ways to persuade people who are in shock to just follow your orders and so the guy did as well.

When his colleagues arrived my dad finally learned what was up with that woman. He had practically forced the poor guy to do CPR on his beheaded wife.

Edit: The son did this for reasons I do not know. For those of you asking why the husband didn't just mention what had happend to his wife: he was too much in shock to say these words or even really realize the situation. Following the order to do CPR is, I guess, clinging to the hope that everything will be fine. Awfully_Wee_Billy_B

Disappearing Porn.... 

My friend works dispatch and I asked her this a few months ago. She said that there's a couple that complains at least once a month that someone is shooting pornography through their window via some sort of projector and whenever the cops come it's not there anymore. No one knows if it's actually happening or not haha. erdaca

Define Interesting... 

It's really difficult to answer questions like this because you get so many calls, they all just blur together, and tbh, A LOT of them are really weird. Like, A LOT.

After a while you get so many calls that are screaming word salad from schizophrenics, or angry rambling drunks, or paranoid dementia patients, or crazy violence, or weird injuries and medical conditions, etc that your definition of what makes an "interesting" call changes a lot from what most people would find interesting.

But to actually answer your question, I guess the lady who wanted to report her boyfriend for domestic violence because "he made the chili too spicy on purpose, and he knows I have the sh**s." TheDogWhistle

Listen Close....

Had a schizo lady thinking there were cameras in her food and someone hiding in her apt. The first time, I spoke with her for maybe 2 and a half minutes before confirming she was crazy. She called back like 30s after we got off the phone. And we spoke for all of 30s as well.

You are NOT legally allowed to hang up until you CONFIRM there is a non-emergency or the situation is a false alarm. Or unless they become belligerent or uncooperative.

Jaded dispatchers do it anyway, though. Disgusts me. Yalyx

Hands Off what's Mine!


I have a friend who working on his way to becoming an officer. One day he was at the station when he comes across a police report of responding to a 911 call from a six year old boy. Reason: he didn't want to share his candy. SecretCollector

Down The Hatch

True, of all those things, nothing phases you anymore over time. An interesting one I got was a guy calling early morning with a question. He was trying to be healthy and got into making breakfast shakes, but he still didn't like the taste of them. So he went on made a shake in the blender with fruits and greens, pinched his nose and dunked it down. Except he forgot to take the plastic little forky thing out of the container with fruits. so he had blended that as well and swallowed it. Interesting because it was a first for me and we weren't all that sure if it could be harmful or not.


The Great Diaper Robbery! 

Someone called to report an excessive amount of diapers being delivered to a luxury apartment building. They thought that someone was stealing babies...

Turns out it was actually something a bit less crazy tunersharkbitten



Cop here: Lady called 911 because she and her husband were moving a sofa into their house through the front door and it got stuck. Wouldn't go back out or any further in. Due to the risk of getting sued if we damaged the sofa or the door in the process of trying to help them, we let them know that we couldn't help. An officer did get on the radio and asked if they had tried pivoting the sofa. Guac__is__extra__


As a 5 year old I called to tell them my caterpillar had died. They did come. My parents apologized but the cops insisted they would look at my caterpillar. Upon further inspection they told me it was just a crystalisc and it would be a butterfly soon. It was the most beautiful butterfly. napalm588

Condiment Emergency!

My brother who is autistic called the cops since my mom wouldn't buy him ketchup, to make up for it (and as a punishment) my mom gave them the leftover cupcakes we had. bobby1376

The Dead Bodies....

Woman called to say she'd been on FaceTime with a man that showed her the bodies of two people he killed. She was calling from another state and wasn't sure where exactly he was. Spent a lot of time getting as much information from her as possible. Convinced myself that this is nuts and there's no way that he actually showed her dead bodies. Came into work the next day and the bodies had been discovered and an arrest made. ohTHATone

Be Still....

Not a dispatcher. But my dad runs 911. Had a guy call once because he was shaking his leg and his foot fell off. Straight truth. He was diabetic. conjoe1999

Such Sordid Tales...

For the sake of contributing interesting stories relevant to the post, I'll share what my dispatcher buddy told me about.

"The poop in the pocket guy": this man would frequently call in and was masturbating to the voice of the dispatcher. He would ask what they were wearing and such... Sometimes he would come in to the station and it was found out he kept soiled toilet paper in his pocket to sniff at his leisure. Some people become around at very weird things.

"The bondage guy": they got a call from a concerned person who saw someone in the park that looked dangerous. They show up and find a guy in full gimp gear, complete with ball-gag. Not sure what he was doing walking around the park, but it turns out he was an off-duty cop from the precinct over.

And for the saddest, the city has a lot of iron gates with sharp points on top. They would be called frequently in the fall to respond to deer who had impaled themselves on the fence. It was considered too risky to shoot them in the middle of a city, so they would just have to let them die on the fence. HallowedNight

Mum is in Trouble....

I called the police accidentally thinking it was my dads work number. I was 5 and wanted to snitch on my brother. It was his birthday and he got a tennis racket and he jokingly was chasing my mum around the house hitting her with it being annoying. This was the first phone call I ever made and it went a bit like this from what I can remember:

Operator - 911 what's your emergency? Or something like that.

Me - Daddy come home quick John's hitting mum with a tennis racket.

Operator - can you confirm your address?

Me - No lady just put my dad on or tell him to come home. Then hung up.

Went had a nice lunch out that day and came home to 4 police officers at the house asking about domestic violence reported by a young girl. mum gives mortified look in my direction. The-Gooner

You sure about that?

I was a dispatcher for a few years. One of the more memorable calls was an older woman who said her granddaughter borrowed her car and parked it somewhere, but they couldn't find it. Police looked out for the car for three days and she called several times a day to get updates. She was pretty convincing and blamed her granddaughter for being irresponsible and into drugs. I called the number back to let her know we weren't able to find her car and a nurse answered... it was a nursing home and the woman didn't own a car.

Another was a guy who had purchased drugs from someone he suspected "drugged his drugs" and wanted to report it. Happens more often than you would think that people call to report something about the drugs they purchased or the prostitute they hired. quietviolet5


Free-Images / Pixabay
ilovetattoos / Pixabay

Tattoos are an incredibly personal and variable thing. Some folks think they should only be reserved for important things. Others are fine with tattoos being something as unimportant and silly a dancing hot dog if it makes a person happy.

Some tattoos though ... yeah.

One Reddit user asked: Tattoo artists of reddit, what's the "Are you f*cking sure about getting this one?" moment you had with a client?

and yeah ... some tattoos... 0.o

Yeah, I just hit you with a text-moji like it's 2004. Nothing else could adequately describe the face you're about to make while reading this.

Keep reading... Show less
You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei