911 Dispatchers Reveal Which Crimes Happen More Than You'd Think[rebelmouse-image 18344873 is_animated_gif=
911 operators get tons of calls every day, and a surprising number of them are for the same types of crimes - identity theft, drugs, and larceny are fairly common. But some people call emergency services for some pretty strange reasons, like being lost, or feeling lonely.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
I need a button for when the bank robs me. #overdraftfees[rebelmouse-image 18344874 is_animated_gif=
I remember being surprised by how many bank alarm calls there were. Turns out, bank tellers accidentally bump the silent alarm button fairly often.
Remember the 72-hour rule? It's silly - and do missing people know they're missing? What if they just want to be left alone?[rebelmouse-image 18344875 is_animated_gif=
Cop here, not a crime, but the amount of missing people reported is insane. Normally juvenile runaways but I feel like it's hundreds a day.
It takes some gall to just steal a canoe in plain sight...[rebelmouse-image 18344876 is_animated_gif=
Former 911 operator;
What surprised me was the sheer amount of big-ticket item theft...
I'm talking like they walked into an electronics store and walked out with a 50"+ TV (or two or three or whole damn pallet of them)...or walking into a sporting goods store and walking out with a canoe.
It just floored me as to how frequently it happens. I guess if you act like you're supposed to be walking out of the store with a canoe, people don't seem to ask too many questions.
That's not a bomb, it's a 40.[rebelmouse-image 18344877 is_animated_gif=
My friend who was a 911 operator says that suspicious packages are reported all the time. 99.9999% of the time they're backpacks left by homeless people.
Man, people are really sensitive and paranoid.[rebelmouse-image 18344878 is_animated_gif=
As a former 999 operator, these 'crimes' were reported regularly-
Car parked across someone's driveway
Neighbors having a barbeque
Fireworks, even on Bonfire Night or New Year
Kids 'hanging around'
Children playing football
'I'm really drunk and I've lost my friends and I haven't got any money left, you need to come and pick me up' (No, we won't)
'Yeah, what it is yeah, it's all kicking off, get down here now!'
Let kids run their lemonade stands.[rebelmouse-image 18344879 is_animated_gif=
Lest anyone forget, you forgot to add to your list the ignorant aholes who call cops on little kids for running a godd_mn lemonade stand.
It's hard to find anyone that hasn't lost someone close to suicide.[rebelmouse-image 18344880 is_animated_gif=
Mom does dispatch. Not actually a crime per se but suicides. The number of times she tells me about talking to a parent/spouse/child that just found their loved one dead from suicide is depressing in and of itself. We live in Utah so our suicide rate is higher than almost everywhere in the nation.
Domestic violence has reached epidemic proportions in the United States.[rebelmouse-image 18344881 is_animated_gif=
Criminal lawyer here who has to listen to 911 recordings daily.
Family violence. Husband/wife, parent/child, elder abuse.
Almost every victim tells me by the time it's a criminal offense that's reported, it's been going on for years. And usually? It's someone from outside the family that reports.
Lots of people fall and then can't get up.[rebelmouse-image 18344882 is_animated_gif=
Alarm Company Dispatcher here
Old people slip out of bed ALL THE TIME. You don't really think about it but if they can't really move, they will probably just get into bed barely resulting in them falling out of bed during the night.
Life lesson: don't leave valuable stuff in your car. Learned that the hard way in DC years ago.[rebelmouse-image 18344883 is_animated_gif=
Larceny from your vehicle. Especially when your car is unlocked (which is stupid to ever do). People who break into cars for a "living" are quick, able to get in and out without breaking anything, and will take anything they can find.
Seems like every few months I need a new debit card because of fraud.[rebelmouse-image 18344884 is_animated_gif=
On the non-emergency side of the police calls we get, fraud and identity theft are really on the rise. Especially preying on the elderly, calling and saying a loved one is in jail and making them "pay" over the phone for bail. We have dozens of fraud calls pending every day. People are so trusting and naive to the fact that people are scamming them.
Welp, TIL DUI cases usually don't go anywhere, despite how cut and dry they appear to be.[rebelmouse-image 18344885 is_animated_gif=
DUI. We may have the plate, the location, the info of the driver but if the officer can't find them there's nothing that can be done.
To add onto that, I might tell an officer that they are obviously intoxicated and they clear the call with nothing done. They do that because DUI cases are a pain in the ass and often don't amount to anything which is a shame considering the amount of work that goes into them.???????
Living in New York City will teach you to take threats of towing seriously.[rebelmouse-image 18344887 is_animated_gif=
I had no idea how many cars get towed out of private lots. Years ago my wife and I were out and she suggested we just park in some strip mall's lot. There were signs everywhere advising you'll be towed so I decided against it.
Fast forward 4 years and I work for the agency that covers that parking lot. They tow a few cars every night. Never knew so many places made good on the threat.
Have you ever gotten a call saying you'd be arrested for owing money to the IRS? It's a scam, don't panic.[rebelmouse-image 18344890 is_animated_gif=
1) identity theft. Literally all the time. There are 100 different ways to do it just as many ways to cover your tracks.
2) scam callers claiming to be the publishers clearing house or the lottery or the IRS. I have people calling from the other side of the country claiming someone from my PD called and said they have a warrant and if they don't pay they will be arrested.
Here's a suggestion: don't get naked for strangers on Skype.[rebelmouse-image 18344891 is_animated_gif=
(S)extortion, by which I mean people getting naked for a stranger during a Skype chat, that stranger records and/or takes a bunch of screenshots, and then tells them it'll take $500 or more to prevent the video/pictures from being all over Facebook.
This used to be an occasional deal, maybe once every couple weeks, but lately, there are a few that come in every other day. A lot of it seems to come from the Philippines, or at least that's where the money gets sent, and yes some people do send the money.
Gangs are a symptom of a broken society that leaves people behind.[rebelmouse-image 18344892 is_animated_gif=
911 Dispatcher here. Gangs are very common. The most affluent part of my county has a rather dangerous gang and all the rich people in their gated communities are either ignorant or in denial. One woman was even offended that I even suggest the very notion it was possible.
Calling the cops because you're lost? Genius.[rebelmouse-image 18344893 is_animated_gif=
My mom is a dispatcher. Kind of different, but apparently she gets a large amount of non-emergency calls or people who can't explain where they are which isn't very helpful for her. I also imagine these callers are taking up a space that would be better used for an actual emergency.
There are hotlines people can call if they are feeling desperate.[rebelmouse-image 18344894 is_animated_gif=
People who phone wanting attention. I mean people who are lonely or bored.
It's saddening how many people phone up and say they're in pain/bleeding anything to get an ambulance and once the paramedics are there and assessing them, there is nothing wrong but they just wanted someone there.
Part of me wishes that people who do this and waste police/fire/ambulance times should be fined the amount it costs to send them out but then part of me realizes that these people may/may not have mental issues that aren't being met so where does the blame lie.???????
Lock your phones, people.[rebelmouse-image 18344895 is_animated_gif=
OH. Forgot about this one. Misdials of 911, especially babies playing with phones.... you have no idea how often babies happen to hit the right combination of keys to call 911 or activate the phone emergency functions. I mean it is a LOT. We get dozens and dozens of them a day.
Leave your guacamole at room temperature for a while before (IF) you refrigerate it. It'll be so much more flavorful, fam. You have no idea.
Guacamole game ON 100.
Thanks for that tip, Alton Brown!
Reddit user 0_BREAD_0 asked:
"What's that one lifehack that ever since you learned it you used it?"
So Alton has us all upgrading our guacamole game, let's see how Reddit can help us grow.
It's A Race!
"Race the microwave or the kettle to get things done in the kitchen."
"It's amazing how much you can do in just a few minutes."
"I'll add, doing this while things are cooking on the stove or oven also goes a long way for longer tasks like cleaning counters or floors or inside the fridge."
20 Minutesradio remains GIFGiphy
"Clean in 20-minute bursts."
"Set a timer and just go HAM on an area in your house or apartment. Stop when the time is up."
"I ended up making a schedule of sorts where I do 2 of these bursts weekly for the kitchen/bedroom, and one for other rooms."
"Your living space becomes so much easier to manage."
"Do most things in 20-minute bursts, really. Outside of specific critical tasks that have other requirements. Wherever possible ~25 minutes or less of focused effort spaced out throughout the day tends to be more valuable and sustaining effort past that threshold can introduce diminishing returns."
"This is what I do. When I was younger, I'd watch my mom clean the entire house twice a week. She'd spend the whole day cleaning."
"Whereas I just take a few minutes a day to clean ONE area of the house."
Shine A Light
"If something small, like a needle, falls on a smooth floor ( tiles, wood...) shine a flashlight at an acute angle over the floor. Even the tiniest items cast shadows easy to see."
"I feel so obtuse for not thinking about this."
Say It To Save ItWhats Her Name Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
"When you meet someone for the first time say their name, at least, twice. "Good to meet you, Bryan." and at the end "Good talking to you, Bryan." You are WAAAAAAYYY more likely to remember their name next time."
"I usually forget their name before I can tell them mine"
"I also will ask them to spell their name or repeat it back to them 'is that spelled John or Jon'."
"God as someone who works in an education job and had trouble even remembering my phone number once upon a time, this is SO accurate! I usually also try to come up with a specific thing to associate a person with (I.e, if I might find out some kid named Blank likes Ben 10, and later on I’d remember, 'oh, that’s Blank, the Ben 10 guy!')."
Stay Hydrated Feline Friends
"You can get your cat to drink more water and prevent eventual fatal kidney issues by moving their water dish to a different room than it's food. Cats don't like to drink water right next to their food."
"I tried it one day and like 5 minutes later caught my cat gulping water like he had been in the dessert."
"Long story short: I accidentally trained my cat to drink out of a water glass. My cat now demands her own glass of water on the coffee table. I’ve created a monster, but I’ve created a monster that won’t have kidney issues. 🤷♀️"
"Getting a yule tree, and having them drink outta the water stand. Lol."
"But real talk, you can add things into the water too."
"Cats and other animals are more like humans than we care to admit. They like clean toilets, their favorite toys, and different foods and drinks."
"So, you can spruce your cat water up with catnip, cat-thyme, valerian, and chamomile herbs."
"As well as you can use your canned meat juices to mix into their water.I do this with tuna and chicken."
"Note: while it is a cliche stereotype, cats shouldn't be given fish, at least not raw. Should always be cooked, canned, smoked, or some other safe way to eat. Also, best bet to not give them any raw food. They can get food poisoning too. Especially true for cats that are indoors-only. They have less resilience."
Thank YouSesame Street Reaction GIF by HBO MaxGiphy
"Saying 'thank you' more and 'sorry' less."
"Like, instead of saying, 'sorry that I'm talking so much,' say, 'thanks for listening'."
"If someone does something nice, or thoughtful, or even just basic common courtesy, don't apologize for having them do it - that puts them in the position of needing to make you feel better. Give them the thanks that they would appreciate."
"I'm a big fan of this one. "Thanks" instead of "sorry" leaves both people feeling appreciated, more confident, and less awkward."
"For real. 'thank you for your patience' instead of 'I'm sorry this has taken so long!' Has saved me a lot of pointless conversation and reassuring. Things go wrong or sideways, you can't change that. You can change how you deliver news!"
"Sounds dumb but going to bed on time is pretty damn amazing. I'm happier, have better discipline (make better nutrition choices, more productive at work/gym) and I'm a more patient and pleasant human in general."
"Not dumb at all. The person I am (internally and externally) when I get <5 hours of sleep vs 7/8 is surprising, for all the reasons you mentioned. I’m a great sleeper and fall asleep easily, but also very sleep sensitive in that way."
"My life hack is similar to yours. To reinforce going to bed on time, I started to feed my cat canned food right before I went to bed. Sure enough, after only a couple days my cat made sure I know exactly what time it is every night, and often starts his bitching early, which is sadly helps."
Don't Over Do It
"Get up at least 20 minutes earlier for work or appointments than you need to."
"This reduces stress by not feeling so "pushed" to get out the door and to show up on time."
"Yep, this has definitely worked for me. I have to be to work by 9 most days, and I used to get up at 7:30 for years. A frw months ago I set my alarm for 7, and it has been a game changer. I don't even miss that half hour of sleep."
"This doesn’t work for me. I will take a little leisure time, either before or after getting ready, and then I lose all motivation. For me, I have to basically allow myself just enough time."
Excited To Say HiTom Hanks Hello GIFGiphy
"Got this from reddit, but the thing where when you greet people with enthusiasm, eventually they start to be enthusiastic back."
"My colleague replies with a 'Thanks!' with an exclamation mark, regardless of how trivial or insignificant the things I'm helping him with are"
""I feel like it makes me more receptive towards him asking me for stuff, and have started using it myself when asking other colleagues for stuff"
No Glugging Or Mess
"This is really dumb but when you open a box of milk or juice and you pour it on the glass it always goes like under the box and it makes a mess, but if you flip the box and pour it backwards it doesn't do that."
"A friend taught me that like a year or two ago"
"The same idea works when pouring oil from a plastic bottle into a car engine. If you hold the bottle so the spout is at the top rather than the bottom, the oil pours smoothly rather than 'glugging' out. Hadn't thought of using it on a box of milk or juice, but it makes sense."
Yall ... I'm about to go change my oil and try this flipped bottle thing cause ya girl is a DISASTER about that.
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, when someone brings up a topic they aren't too familiar with, but you are?
This gives you the opportunity to sweep in and share your knowledge on the subject.
While one would imagine that your relative expertise on the subject might result in thanks and appreciation, more often than not, the reaction from your friends is "why do you know that?"
Awkward as it may feel at the moment, there are very few people who don't carry some unusual areas of expertise and trivia on subjects most others are most likely unfamiliar with.
Redditor quadruple_b was curious to learn the random facts others have shared which wound up bringing their conversations to a halt, leading them to ask:
What is a really weird fact, that makes people say "why do you know that?"
Octopuses... they're just like us
"Octopuses are usually very antisocial but when they’re under the influence of ecstasy they are more willing to spend time around each other or even hug other octopuses."- Stab_That_Ukulele
The body compensates
"When you are starving, and have little body fat left, your body can grow almost fur-like hair to insulate itself in absence of fat."- A_Stupid_Fish29
"Your body’s normal functions can slow down to accommodate organ disease."
"For example, I have 40% lung function, but my O2 is completely normal at 98% saturation."
"They didn’t discover any lung disease until I had a ct scan done for other reasons and my lungs happened to show up in that."- nocturnal_numbness
What this would do for humanity!
"Cheetahs are so genetically similar that supposedly you can draw blood from one and inject it straight into another one without any health issues in the receiving animal."
"I.E. no blood type or clotting factor variations."- 0ttrbig cats cat GIF by BBC EarthGiphy
So strange, that it makes perfect sense?
"Coca-Cola can help with blood stains."- Buzzed_Woody
Good thing they don't need a toilet...
"Guinea pigs average pooping around 100 times a day."- morgandanso
"In Phoenix, Arizona, you are legally allowed to bury a dead body on your property without asking for permission/getting a permit/etc."
"The city asks that you contact them beforehand so they can send someone out to stake for gas/electric lines, but it’s not required."- hedalexa12digging sarah chalke GIFGiphy
"If provided with a mirror, dolphins will admire their own genitals."- Cymiril
The brain is a delicate creature
"There is a chemical called MPTP that specifically destroys dopaminergic neurons in the brain."
"About 3 days after someone ingests it, they get Parkinson's disease."- SheilaBoof
Gruesome with good intentions?
"In the 1960s or 70s, the Swiss Air Force dropped severed chicken heads all over the forests of Switzerland."
"The chicken heads contained the rabies vaccine, and the airdrop was to vaccinate wild foxes against rabies."- EnormousPurpleGardenfennec fox GIFGiphy
One never knows when learning this newfound information might become useful.
Especially for parents of children eager to buy a Guinea Pig...
As relationships get serious, it's understandable that one will want to know as much as possible about their significant others.
That is, until we make a discovery about them which might forever change how we view our relationship.
Sometimes, it might be a discovery that might just take some getting used to, even if we'd have been better off not knowing.
Other times, however, this newfound information makes remaining in this relationship untenable.
Redditor Mr_MightyMouse was curious to hear what people wished they'd never learned about their past and present relationships, leading them to ask:
"What is the one thing you found out about your S/O you wish you never did?"
He was anything but faithful
"He cheated on me."
"When I had cancer."- stolliolli
Her one true love... wasn't me
"She drunkenly admitted to her friends that her ex-boyfriend was the one and she’ll never get over him."
"Still not sure how to handle that information."- FreeFoot_
Complicit without knowing it.
"She was an opiate addict."
"I was funding her addiction unknowingly."
"I was helping her destroy herself and I was too stupid to realize that."- Local64bithero
Moving way too fast
"Not that it was that traumatic as we were only dating a few weeks, but she started real deal crying when I wouldn't put her on my life insurance."- Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud
Someone needs to sharpen their aim...
"I hang up a towel to dry my hands in the bathroom."
"Sometimes I would find it on the floor and think hmmm the towel fell off the rack."
"TEN YEARS GO BY."
"One day my husband casually says 'you are always so quick to do laundry, like if I accidentally pee on the floor and clean it up with the towel it is gone so quick'."
"I'm like what.... what?"
"So yea, I've been drying my hands with pee towels for 10 years."
"FML."- kperkins1982·max greenfield towel GIFGiphy
A club no one wants to belong to
"I was dating my ex for two years and she drunkenly confessed that she had cheated on every bf she had ever had."
"We broke up not long after."
"Then found out she was also cheating on me with multiple people from the office."
"I’m now happily married!"
"She also hid her then current bf from me when we first hooked up, he was asleep in another bedroom and we was in a different bed."
"She told him I missed the train home and needed a place to get my head down."- JancingSalmon
A stronger connection than they knew.
"He once dated a girl that he was getting fairly serious about until he showed up to a family event and she was there."- rowenaravenclaw0
What was he up to?
"He had a notebook of every detail of my life, including menstrual cycle, and also kept all the details of my friends and family members."
"Even ones I had never mentioned."
"And we were only together for two months."- totalfranmove
The news no one wants to hear
"That she had Cancer, which ultimately took her."
"That is literally the only thing I found out about my late wife that I ever regretted."- d20gamerguy
A happy anniversary indeed.
"This is NSFW."
"She gave me her phone to look for an address and make a restaurant reservation for our 7 year anniversary."
"I don't know why she gave me her phone, but I guess it was just destiny."
"Someone sent her a video on Whatsapp, and the next message says 'tomorrow again?'"
"From the same person."
"Now I am not one of those people who checks my partner's phone, I don't like that."
"But I was curious and clicked on it. It was a full 2 minute video of her hooking up with someone"
"Needless to say there was no anniversary dinner."- kmiaw
Even though everyone here says they wish they'd never learned these things, one has to imagine some of these people are, deep down, grateful.
As they may have been saved from trouble or pain down the line.
Even if it doesn't make these discoveries any easier.
It's ok to be naughty.
But sometimes... you wanna watch yourself.
Naughty can lead to trouble.
And we're talking adult naughty.
Maybe it's time we discussed it all.
Rule #1... Better safe than sorry.
Redditor Black_Hole_Baken-00wanted hear from all the people willing to share sexy secrets that might leave plenty of people blushing. They asked:
"What’s your most shameful NSFW moment?"
Elevators. Stairwells. Planes. You name it. I've shamed it. No Deets...
don't worry I wasn't naked...
"I was watching adult videos in the middle of the night. After I did my deed I felt a slight pain in my balls, like someone flicked their finger on them. The pain increased to the point that I had to walk it out. After some minutes I began screaming from the pain when my parents came to my room (don't worry I wasn't naked) seeing me in pain on the floor."
"At that moment I thought I did something wrong but was to ashamed to tell them.My dad rushed me to the emergency room where I was rushed in and my pants were removed. Laying there they gave me a nose spray which halted some of the pain. The doctor then started fondling my family jewels while the nurse stood next to me reminding me to breath because the nose spray stopped the automatic breathing if that makes sense."
"All the time my dad is standing there looking and the only thing I could thing at that moment was oh no do they think my unit is small. After that the doctors brought me to another room while my dad was in another room. While going trough the halls I told the doctor I probably know the cause and explained that I was pleasuring myself"
"I don't remember the doctors response but I felt truly ashamed like I was the only person doing such a thing. Later the doctor told me I had testicular Torsion which is caused by the balls not being attached to the sack so I'm living in fear of it happening again to this day."
"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??"
"In the 90's/early 2000's we bought a pub and moved into it. It had a big screen downstairs and we lived above, but Sky Sports was so expensive for the business account we basically hooked the giant screen to our box upstairs so whenever the sport was on it would show on the screen downstairs."
"So we couldn't watch TV upstairs except what was being shown on the big screen when this was happening. Anyway one Sunday evening around 10pm after the sport (bearing in mind the sport finished at 6pm) I was freely browsing through channels because the giant screen has been wound up into the ceiling and my 14 year old self came across some softcore adult videos"
"Curious, I started watching it. Suddenly there was a big buzz from the phone that connected to downstairs, I answer it. It's my mum with laughing in the background. "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??" I was like "errr.. I was just flicking through channels.." "Well you've stayed on that one for a while haven't you?"
"I forgot about the small TV in the bar area. It was still on and was showing the entire pub what my horny self was watching. I was mortified. Luckily my mum never brought it up again and neither did any of the customers thankfully."
I Gotta Go
"When i was 12 my younger sister walked in on me playing fondle the dongle. I told her I couldn't pee and was trying to force/pump it out. She told my mom out of worry. Said I needed a doctor to help me pee. When Mom confronted me about what my sister was saying i then had to explain it to her."
"My mom walked in on me. The look on her face went from incomprehension to shock to utter disgust over the span of a second or two. She stayed calm and explained how it wasn't appropriate, but I just remember how unsmiling and tense she was, totally unlike I'd ever seen her. Decades ago but still cringe so much recalling it."
Oh. My. God. Y'all are animals. And I'm LIIIIVVVING for it!
“underwear”surprise disrobing GIFGiphy
"My dad caught me editing the game files of The Sims to replace the female underwear textures with 'underwear' that just makes them look nude. Looked up reference material and edited them in photoshop. That a lot of effort to put into something so depraved."
"When i was about 10, my parents were out so I looked up some adult videos on the family computer (mistake number 1), then I kept hearing noises and thought someone was in the house so i ran to my room and called my dad, leaving to computer on (mistake number 2)."
"My dad rushed home and went around the house looking for an intruder, no one was there, it was just my next door neighbors (we have a semi-detached house) then obviously saw what i was looking at on the computer and asked me about it… i told him the intruder must of broken in and searched it up :( "
"In middle school, my friend got her boobs and she wanted me to touch them. We probably spent 30 minutes everyday before school until the librarian caught us and we were suspended."
I wonder if she knew...
"My HS gf and I were having sex in the sideways laying down cuddling position. Mom walked in to show me a new Christmas decoration. To her it looked like we were just cuddling but she sat on the bed inches away from me and proceeded to talk about the decoration for like 10 minutes. I wonder if she knew. They never cared much about that stuff so I think she was just oblivious."
"I was violently ill. In my fiancé’s house where we were living. While he was at work, his dad was working from home. I needed my mom to take me to the hospital. I screamed for my father in laws help, who entered the bathroom to my nude body, puking at t in his bathtub. He called my mom for me, and we never spoke about it."
Well I need a cold shower and more vodka.