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911 Dispatchers Describe The Times They Actually Had To Contain Their Laughter On A Call

911 Dispatchers Describe The Times They Actually Had To Contain Their Laughter On A Call

911 dispatchers have fast-paced and hectic jobs. Emergencies can pop up at any time, so the job can become very tense and stressful on very short notice. In many cases, the lives of the people on the other end of the line depend on the dispatcher's quick thinking and actions.

But there are also silly and pointless calls to break up that stress. Many of these are hilarious, even ridiculous, because people call 911 for the weirdest reasons.


Dispatchers shared their stories with us after Redditor HOW_TO asked the online community:

"911 dispatchers, what was a time you had to contain your laughter?"

"Got a call..."

"Got a call from one of the managers at a bowling alley complaining that their ice machine was broken and it’s a really busy night and how if someone doesn’t come out to fix it, there will be no cold drinks."

blue_13

When do you draw the line of giving them a citation and how much would it cost? I would crack myself up so hard if I got this call.

"I definitely..."

"I definitely laughed when a woman called to tell us that her husband kept leaving the toilet seat down."

[deleted]

"A woman called 911..."

"A woman called 911 demanding that a man sitting on her favorite park bench be removed by the police. She was told misuse of 911 is a crime, but she called back two more times. Not sure whatever became of her, but I would imagine she got a big fine."

drygnfyre

We would hope so. People who misuse 911 are something else...

"When I was dispatching for the police..."

"When I was dispatching for the police, there was this one time where this guy called in and said that he was being chased by a chicken. I tried my best to keep a straight face, but I was laughing so hard on the inside."

Beginningtheinfluence55

Did all those Family Guy episodes about the rooster just spring out into the real world?

"Teenager..."

"Teenager attempted to get police because there was a 'monster chicken' walking around behind a gate at someone's house. Turns out he didn't know what turkeys looked like."

moosesanddave

Okay, this is hilarious. You'd think he would have figured this out if he'd ever celebrated Thanksgiving...

"I once again said..."

"Some lady called me asking if we could have a unit "house-sit" for her while she went on vacation for a week. I told her we don't do that, she'd need to hire someone or ask family to help out."

"She got all angry and huffed and puffed at me saying I don't understand anything. She simply wanted them to stay in her house, watch the dogs, and make sure no one tried to break in as an off-duty job."

"I once again said we don't do off-duty work in civilian homes and she angrily hung up on me."

"I still think back to it and laugh. People are weird."

NoCalligrapher

Wow. Imagine being that entitled. I can't.

"Woman called 911..."

"Woman called 911 requesting an ambulance because she had taken two of her son's weed gummies on an empty stomach and "felt like she was floating in slow motion.""

"Also requested that I send the police to arrest her. My favorite part was her son in the background going "Mom, you didn't seriously call 911. For the love of god, hang up the phone. You are fine.""

[deleted[

Okay, this is hilarious. Poor woman, though. We are sure it felt like a very odd experience.

"Man called in on a pay phone to advise us that he was taking a s*it in said pay phone. Was in hysterics for a long while after that one."

Zouct

At least he warned you, not to mention the clean-up crew...

"All the time..."

"All the time, however it’s not so hard because there is a highly utilized mute button."

Aloeplant9

Ah, yes, the mute button! How could we forget?

"I had a 911 open line..."

"I had a 911 open line where I could absolutely hear a young man and his lady friend having some vigorous, um, fun. But because I couldn’t get either of them to actually pick up the phone… I had to send a pair of officers to their RapidSOS location."

Gaudy_Tripod

Well, that's definitely one way to kill the mood.

911 dispatchers' jobs can be stressful, but it's good to know that they also have plenty of time to enjoy a laugh on the job!

But seriously, people: Don't call 911 for silly stuff. That's a good way to get yourself into trouble.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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