911 Dispatchers Describe The Times They Actually Had To Contain Their Laughter On A Call
Petr Macháček on Unsplash

911 dispatchers have fast-paced and hectic jobs. Emergencies can pop up at any time, so the job can become very tense and stressful on very short notice. In many cases, the lives of the people on the other end of the line depend on the dispatcher's quick thinking and actions.

But there are also silly and pointless calls to break up that stress. Many of these are hilarious, even ridiculous, because people call 911 for the weirdest reasons.


Dispatchers shared their stories with us after Redditor HOW_TO asked the online community:

"911 dispatchers, what was a time you had to contain your laughter?"

"Got a call..."

"Got a call from one of the managers at a bowling alley complaining that their ice machine was broken and it’s a really busy night and how if someone doesn’t come out to fix it, there will be no cold drinks."

blue_13

When do you draw the line of giving them a citation and how much would it cost? I would crack myself up so hard if I got this call.

"A woman called 911..."

"A woman called 911 demanding that a man sitting on her favorite park bench be removed by the police. She was told misuse of 911 is a crime, but she called back two more times. Not sure whatever became of her, but I would imagine she got a big fine."

drygnfyre

We would hope so. People who misuse 911 are something else...

"When I was dispatching for the police..."

"When I was dispatching for the police, there was this one time where this guy called in and said that he was being chased by a chicken. I tried my best to keep a straight face, but I was laughing so hard on the inside."

Beginningtheinfluence55

Did all those Family Guy episodes about the rooster just spring out into the real world?

"Teenager..."

"Teenager attempted to get police because there was a 'monster chicken' walking around behind a gate at someone's house. Turns out he didn't know what turkeys looked like."

moosesanddave

Okay, this is hilarious. You'd think he would have figured this out if he'd ever celebrated Thanksgiving...

"I once again said..."

"Some lady called me asking if we could have a unit "house-sit" for her while she went on vacation for a week. I told her we don't do that, she'd need to hire someone or ask family to help out."

"She got all angry and huffed and puffed at me saying I don't understand anything. She simply wanted them to stay in her house, watch the dogs, and make sure no one tried to break in as an off-duty job."

"I once again said we don't do off-duty work in civilian homes and she angrily hung up on me."

"I still think back to it and laugh. People are weird."

NoCalligrapher

Wow. Imagine being that entitled. I can't.

"Woman called 911..."

"Woman called 911 requesting an ambulance because she had taken two of her son's weed gummies on an empty stomach and "felt like she was floating in slow motion.""

"Also requested that I send the police to arrest her. My favorite part was her son in the background going "Mom, you didn't seriously call 911. For the love of god, hang up the phone. You are fine.""

[deleted[

Okay, this is hilarious. Poor woman, though. We are sure it felt like a very odd experience.

"Man called in on a pay phone to advise us that he was taking a s*it in said pay phone. Was in hysterics for a long while after that one."

Zouct

At least he warned you, not to mention the clean-up crew...

"All the time..."

"All the time, however it’s not so hard because there is a highly utilized mute button."

Aloeplant9

Ah, yes, the mute button! How could we forget?

"I had a 911 open line..."

"I had a 911 open line where I could absolutely hear a young man and his lady friend having some vigorous, um, fun. But because I couldn’t get either of them to actually pick up the phone… I had to send a pair of officers to their RapidSOS location."

Gaudy_Tripod

Well, that's definitely one way to kill the mood.

911 dispatchers' jobs can be stressful, but it's good to know that they also have plenty of time to enjoy a laugh on the job!

But seriously, people: Don't call 911 for silly stuff. That's a good way to get yourself into trouble.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

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"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."

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Donquixote Doflamingo

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"The Marines are righteous?"

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The Last Airbender's Azula

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