With great power comes great responsibility... right? Well sometimes when you've been bestowed with incredible powers, you don't always want to do incredible things. These people share the dumbest way they'd use the valuable tool of time travel.
1/25. Going back in time to be the one to tell the punchline of a joke all your friends laughed at when someone else told it.
2/25. Traveling back in time to avoid the incident in which you accidentally answered your phone before looking at the caller ID, only to discover an extremely charismatic telemarketer who kept you on the phone for over an hour and eventually talked you into purchasing subscriptions to 6 different magazines you had absolutely no real interest in reading.
3/25. Get in time machine and travel back a minute to stop yourself getting in time machine.
4/25. Visiting famous sculptors as soon as they completed their masterwork, and breaking its arms off.
5/25. Wanting to watch every "Friends" episode taped from the live studio-audience. Forever.
6/25. Walking home from school you get kidnapped by evil-doers, they confiscate your cellphone and throw you in a cage to starve but little do they know you have the power to travel through time. So you go back in time and store some food in your underwear so you won't be hungry.
[deleted]
Continue onto the next page for more hilarious uses of time travel!
7/25. Poop in your hand so you can travel back in time to put it together with your last poop and flush them both at the same time to save water.
Probably the sh*ttiest way to use the time travel ability.
8/25. Going back in time to spoil big movie and T.V. secrets. Yelling "Darth Vader is Luke's father!" outside of theaters the day Empire was released. Yelling "Bruce Willis is a ghost!" during the Sixth Sense premier... etc.
9/25. Go back in time and steal usernames on websites like reddit.
10/25. Starting a business where we find your lost items, but really we just go back in time, steal it and sell it back to you.
11/25. Just had an argument with my husband and he swears he didn't say something that I swear he did. Using time travel to settle that dispute would probably me the sh*ttiest use, totally pointless in the grand scheme of things.
More hilariously stupid uses of time travel on the next page!
12/25. Going back in time so that I made it to the bathroom on time and didn't sh*t myself last week.
13/25. I would buy delicious cake and eat it, then go back in time and eat it again. I would probably do that about 15 times in a row.
14/25. Traveling to the future... at the rate of 1 second per second.
15/25. Skipping the commercials. I'd imagine it would be a lot like when you recorded something off cable. "Little more, little more... whoops, too far. Just rewind a tiny bit, and... f*ck, now we're at the beginning again. Okay, slower this time... what the hell, it just went all the way to the end! Gah!" *dies*
16/25. "Oh man, my grilled cheese is cold..."
Continue for more ridiculous uses for time!
17/25. Going back in time to check whether I really turned off the stove.
18/25. Ordering a pizza and then using it to jump to a half hour from the prior present point so it just seemingly arrives at your door in an instant.
19/25. Time travel to the beginning of earth only to die from lack of oxygen.
20/25. To make sure that Tom Cruise did get the starring role in The Shawshank Redemption.
21/25. Go back in time and stop the discovery of time machines.
More dumb uses of time travel on the next page!
22/25. I would go back in time to drop a key from my second story home into my hands to let myself in because I locked myself out.
23/25. Going back to September 10th, 2001 to get the last case of Pepsi Clear.
24/25. Sending robots who are supposed to look like everyday humans but instead look like German body builders back in time to kill a single human female.
25/25. "Hi, eighteen-year-old Max! Wait. What is this?"
"Ha ha! I was expecting you this time, you bastard!"
"So, you set up a net to trap your future self? After all that I've done for you?"
"You haven't done anything for me! You've been actively trying to ruin my life since I was a kid!"
"How is it 'ruining your life' if I warn you about oncoming calamities? Also, a net? Really?"
"That's the whole problem! You're not letting me find out for myself! How do I know I would have broken up with my girlfriend if you hadn't pointed it out?!"
"Try thinking with your brain for a change."
"Oh, yeah, that's really mature."
"Ha! Talk about irony."
"That was sarcasm."
"Right, I know. Hence the irony."
"... What?"
"No, no, I wouldn't want to 'ruin your life' by revealing anything."
"Stop it! I know what you're doing!"
"No doubt... just like I know what you're going to do."
"Ugh. Fine. Tell me, then leave."
"Nope, sorry. You blew it this time."
"What?"
"I'm keeping my mouth shut for another two years. Have fun 'making your own mistakes!'"
"Stop! What did I... what will I... argh!"
"See you at age twenty!"
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
– Mrbusybaconandeggs
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
– Rook1872
Age-Defying
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
– Downtown_Skill
Sad Epiphany
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
– thecanadiancowboy
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
– NoinePiecesOfVinyl
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
Wake-Up Call
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
– IcarusWax
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
– JimmyJackJericho
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
–= xepci0
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
– snapwillow
Being Independent
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
– CliffExcellent123
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
– lllSnowmanlll
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
– WitherWithout
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
– civilwarcorpses
Marking Time
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
– Suitable_Mistake2208
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.
