JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!

With great power comes great responsibility... right? Well sometimes when you've been bestowed with incredible powers, you don't always want to do incredible things. These people share the dumbest way they'd use the valuable tool of time travel.



1/25. Going back in time to be the one to tell the punchline of a joke all your friends laughed at when someone else told it.

Pellantana

2/25. Traveling back in time to avoid the incident in which you accidentally answered your phone before looking at the caller ID, only to discover an extremely charismatic telemarketer who kept you on the phone for over an hour and eventually talked you into purchasing subscriptions to 6 different magazines you had absolutely no real interest in reading.

Nevadadrifter

3/25. Get in time machine and travel back a minute to stop yourself getting in time machine.

Shade0o

4/25. Visiting famous sculptors as soon as they completed their masterwork, and breaking its arms off.

captainmagictrousers


5/25. Wanting to watch every "Friends" episode taped from the live studio-audience. Forever.

Thatsmahdood

6/25. Walking home from school you get kidnapped by evil-doers, they confiscate your cellphone and throw you in a cage to starve but little do they know you have the power to travel through time. So you go back in time and store some food in your underwear so you won't be hungry.

[deleted]


Continue onto the next page for more hilarious uses of time travel!

7/25. Poop in your hand so you can travel back in time to put it together with your last poop and flush them both at the same time to save water.

Probably the sh*ttiest way to use the time travel ability.

kwebbelkop

8/25. Going back in time to spoil big movie and T.V. secrets. Yelling "Darth Vader is Luke's father!" outside of theaters the day Empire was released. Yelling "Bruce Willis is a ghost!" during the Sixth Sense premier... etc.

Zanos-Ixshlae

9/25. Go back in time and steal usernames on websites like reddit.

chasev8

10/25. Starting a business where we find your lost items, but really we just go back in time, steal it and sell it back to you.

venom1320

11/25. Just had an argument with my husband and he swears he didn't say something that I swear he did. Using time travel to settle that dispute would probably me the sh*ttiest use, totally pointless in the grand scheme of things.

[deleted]

More hilariously stupid uses of time travel on the next page!

12/25. Going back in time so that I made it to the bathroom on time and didn't sh*t myself last week.

hotchnuts

13/25. I would buy delicious cake and eat it, then go back in time and eat it again. I would probably do that about 15 times in a row.

Fan_of_the_butt

14/25. Traveling to the future... at the rate of 1 second per second.

PainMatrix

15/25. Skipping the commercials. I'd imagine it would be a lot like when you recorded something off cable. "Little more, little more... whoops, too far. Just rewind a tiny bit, and... f*ck, now we're at the beginning again. Okay, slower this time... what the hell, it just went all the way to the end! Gah!" *dies*

essidus

16/25. "Oh man, my grilled cheese is cold..."

Trezzie

Continue for more ridiculous uses for time!

17/25. Going back in time to check whether I really turned off the stove.

brobeusswagrid

18/25. Ordering a pizza and then using it to jump to a half hour from the prior present point so it just seemingly arrives at your door in an instant.

OnlyMySofaPullsOut

19/25. Time travel to the beginning of earth only to die from lack of oxygen.

TheMantisStrike

20/25. To make sure that Tom Cruise did get the starring role in The Shawshank Redemption.

riidiii

21/25. Go back in time and stop the discovery of time machines.

1amathrowaway

More dumb uses of time travel on the next page!

22/25. I would go back in time to drop a key from my second story home into my hands to let myself in because I locked myself out.

masticatetherapist

23/25. Going back to September 10th, 2001 to get the last case of Pepsi Clear.

ChampChirey

24/25. Sending robots who are supposed to look like everyday humans but instead look like German body builders back in time to kill a single human female.

goatman2112

25/25. "Hi, eighteen-year-old Max! Wait. What is this?"

"Ha ha! I was expecting you this time, you bastard!"

"So, you set up a net to trap your future self? After all that I've done for you?"

"You haven't done anything for me! You've been actively trying to ruin my life since I was a kid!"

"How is it 'ruining your life' if I warn you about oncoming calamities? Also, a net? Really?"

"That's the whole problem! You're not letting me find out for myself! How do I know I would have broken up with my girlfriend if you hadn't pointed it out?!"

"Try thinking with your brain for a change."

"Oh, yeah, that's really mature."

"Ha! Talk about irony."

"That was sarcasm."

"Right, I know. Hence the irony."

"... What?"

"No, no, I wouldn't want to 'ruin your life' by revealing anything."

"Stop it! I know what you're doing!"

"No doubt... just like I know what you're going to do."

"Ugh. Fine. Tell me, then leave."

"Nope, sorry. You blew it this time."

"What?"

"I'm keeping my mouth shut for another two years. Have fun 'making your own mistakes!'"

"Stop! What did I... what will I... argh!"

"See you at age twenty!"

RamsesThePigeon

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

When a movie rakes in a ton of cash at the box office, the studio that made it has only one thing on its mind: "How do we keep shaking this money tree?"

Unfortunately, that means they make sequels, sometimes sequels on sequels on sequels.

Keep reading... Show less

Oftentimes I like to do my best Ghostface impression and aggressively ask people what their favorite scary movies are. Because I personally have a lot! At the same time, I'm also terrified that at any point, I could end up getting my head punched off by Jason Vorhees (Part 8 of the series--best one IMO).

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

I hate hypocrites. They are the bane of my existence. All you have to do is stand behind your words. How hard is that? You said them. I especially get peeved when people bloviate on a topic and condemn and holler but then when it comes to them doing it... silence.

Redditor u/ErrForceOnes wanted to know about the moments people chose to curiously "pay no mind" by asking... What is a GIANT hypocrisy that no one seems to mind?
Keep reading... Show less