2/. So I was loitering with a couple friends in a little village-style outdoor mall that's pretty popular in my city. Without warning, a massive group of people turned the corner onto the street and started walking down it together at a brisk pace. Not a flash mob, no one's shirtless, just a group of what had to be three or four hundred people all walking together, and as they're walking the ones on the fringes of the train are calling out to passersby to join in. There's no indication of where the group is going or why, and no one is explaining themselves or holding signs or anything.
We're near the end of the street, watching more and more people latch onto the group out of sheer curiosity as it moves en masse towards us, and I said, "F*ck it, let's go." So we tacked on to the side of the train and followed it for ten minutes or so into the heart of the mall, where there's a small park with a sculpture garden and a fountain. By that point there were way too many people to come close to fitting in the park. I would estimate at least a goddamn thousand packed together.
The guy who was leading the parade approached this young woman who was sitting on one of the benches there, who was looking pretty bewildered at being surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Another young guy who was with him, sort of a ringleader type, turned to face "us" as a group and started to shout-sing "Lean On Me." With no idea what was going on, the rest of the group joined in until there were enough people to fill an auditorium all singing Lean On Me together to this complete stranger of a girl in the park. We got about a minute in (to the end of the second chorus) before the guy's friend shushed us by raising both hands, and everyone went dead silent.
Then the guy who was leading the parade got on one knee and proposed to the girl. She said yes. Everyone cheered and dispersed, more or less.
4/. This one happened on the train at peak hour about a year ago. There was a little girl and her father, they had just dropped her big sister off at school and were heading back home. She was crying and screaming for her sister while her father was trying his best to console her.
All of a sudden, about four or so women in business suits (obviously mothers with children) began rummaging around in their handbags and pulled out toys for the little girl to keep her occupied. One woman even had several books and she began reading them to the little girl. The little girl continued to cry when an Irish woman a few seats away joined in to help. She began singing a song and clapping. As she was singing a few people began humming along. She began singing louder and yelled "come on, everybody join in". The whole carriage joined in singing and clapping, which stopped the little girl from crying and she began laughing.
It was amazing.
5/. Was having a new exhaust put onto my Subaru by a small specialty shop in Buffalo, NY.
We dropped it off and then said we would just go walk around for a couple hours till it was done. Staff advised us not too as it was a rough area...we were 19, and from Canada, whats the worst that could happen?
After walking through a couple blocks of burnt out houses we decided to turn around and get back to the shop ASAP!
We walk around a corner only to see a group of 5 large, thugish looking young men ahead of us, they notice us, turn and walk in our direction. Instant brick shitting... do we run... do we plead for our lives? We decide to do the Canadian thing and just keep walking like nothings going to happen. The "gang" reaches us after a few seconds, kind of does a half circle around the two of us, there is no escape, only robbery or death.
(story continued on the next page...)
What appears to be the leader makes contact "Yo, we got a question for you guys!".
We sheepishly reply "uhhh yea?"
"Whats the plural form of Penis? Penises?"
"Uhhh...I think so."
One of the other gang members blurts out "see I told you man!" as they all kind of laugh and thank us, tell us to have a good day.
That is my only encounter with American street youth.
6/. A friend got a bowl of chocolate pudding from the food service. He didn't say a word as he ate it next to a preacher using a dildo. It's impossible to concentrate and speak when somebody literally eats a bowl of penises in front of you.
7/. A bar fight between a group of deaf guys. Hands down, the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.
8/. It's one of my favorite memories, just because of the sense of being part of something greater, for no reason except that we were all human. With no idea where we were going or why, we still joined the parade of people and sang to this guy's wife-to-be, because it was a good thing to do.In college there was this crazy preacher that would always be out in the commons going on about how we were all going to Hell for living away from our families and how all the professors were ho-mo-sexuals. One day I walk through the commons and the preacher is shouting hellfire and brimstone like usual, but there is a guy in a clown suit. The guy in the clown suit has a boombox blasting Marilyn Manson and he is dancing around the preacher. At the same time, a goth girl from the Wiccan club is drawing a pentagram around the preacher and chanting.
It was a hell of a show.
9/. Was outside smoking at a huge university by myself at about 4am when I see a deer running down the middle of the road. The noise of it running against the pavement was super bizarre. Next a pickup truck comes barreling after it.
The deer runs onto the campus lawns and the truck jumps the curb and follows it through the yards. I run after, gotta see what this is about, and by the time I get to where the truck had eventually stopped the deer was nowhere in sight. 4 guys were standing outside the truck yelling at each other. I sort of duck behind this bush area and run into a guy who was ducking there, doing the same thing as me. We kinda looked at each other, shrugged, and kept watching. These guys look university age, yelling about guns, fighting, shooting each other. The guy in the bushes with me starts to make moves to get closer to the action, and the 4 guys see him. They start to walk over, I'm terrified, and they see me. They are marching over, confident, like they are going to murder me, and one guy comes right up to me and picks me up. In a hug. And sort of just sways left to right with me in his arms saying "We were just kidding. We were just kidding." He set me back down and the 4 of them walk calmly back to their truck, and drive away.
I really have no explanation for any of it.
13/. Our neighbors back at my old house weren't good people; they turned their property into a giant junkyard filled with pot and abused animals.
But they did the funniest f*cking thing one day.
One day while they're gone, a man in a truck comes up with a hay bale. He walks into their driveway a bit, got a disgusted look on his face, and then set the hay bale in the drive way.
A few hours later, our neighbors come home, and they see the hay bale. They all look at each other really confused, and then all at once, they look down the road. Then, all at once, they all look up the road.
Then, all at once, they all look straight up into the f*cking sky.