Have you ever wondered: what would it sound like if Donald Trump had delivered some of the most famous lines in history? Wonder no more.


1/23. "We choose to go to the moon! We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy, but because they are hard."

President John F. Kennedy

via GIPHY

Trump version:

The moon is a mess right now. Its so sad whats happening on the moon. The moon has no idea what its doing, okay? Thats why were gonna build a rocket, a beautiful rocket. And the moon is gonna pay for it. Believe me.

2/23. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

President Bill Clinton

via GIPHY

Trump version:

"I would have sexual relations with that woman if she wasn't my daughter."


3/23. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

Rev. Martin Luther King

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Trump version:

The blacks Incredible people. Theyre living in hell. Its a very very bad thing thats happening to the blacks. Incredible people. Total garbage. Tremendous. Sad.

via GIPHY

4/23. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu

Trump version:

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a small one million dollar loan from my dad.

5/23. "The unexamined life is not worth living."

Socrates

Trump version:

"I love the poorly educated."

via GIPHY

6/23. "I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends."

Abraham Lincoln

Trump version:

"I destroy my enemies when I make tweets at 3 am. By the way Rosie ODonnell is fat and not attractive. Pathetic."

via GIPHY


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7/23. "Few men have the virtue to withstand the highest bidder."

George Washington

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Trump version:

"Our leaders are corrupt, okay? I know. I corrupted them."


8/23. "The Oracle said I was the wisest of the Greeks, for I alone know that I know nothing." - Socrates

Trump version:

"The Oracle loves me, okay? Says I have one of the highest IQs ever. Greece is being stupid right now. We need to be smart. I'm gonna make Greece great again.?

9/23. "Say hello to my little friend!"

Tony Montana, Scarface

via GIPHY

Trump version:

"Say hello to my totally normal-sized or even slightly above average friend. No problems down there. Believe me."


10/23. "No matter how long it may take us to overcome this... the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory!"

President Franklin Roosevelt

Trump version:


"We are going to win; were going to win so much youll vomit from all the winning; Charlie Sheen amounts of winning. And then well win again. I dont wear a rug."


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11/23. "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

St. Augustine

Trump version:

"Better to have hated and won than to have loved and lost. I love hate. Hate loves me. I'm doing very well with hate."


12/23. If youre going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill

Trump version:

"If youre going through hell, youre a black or a latino. Vote for me, okay? What do you have to lose?"

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13/23. "Not all those that wander are lost."

JRR Tolkien

Trump version:

"Not all those that wander are lost. Some are drug mules, some are criminals. Theyre rapists. I assume some are good wanderers."

via GIPHY

14/23. "If you want to test a mans character, give him power."

Abraham Lincoln

Trump version:

"I have the best temperament, frankly. Give me the nuclear and I'll show you. The nuclear is very beautiful and powerful to me. My temperament is my best quality."


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15/23. "In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you."

Warren Buffett

Trump version:

"In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: sexy face, thin body, and big tits. Or if youre hiring a man, get a Jewish guy because they do great deals. Tremendous hagglers."

via GIPHY

16/23. "It wasnt raining when Noah built the ark."

Howard Ruff

Trump version:

"Noah built a very bad ark. Terrible. Wasnt even raining. Very weak. I will build a great ark, believe me. Nobody builds better arks than me. Mine will have gold lettering. Very classy."

17/23. "You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

via GIPHY

Trump version:

"You killed my father. Tremendous. I owed him money."


18/23. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

President Franklin Roosevelt

Trump version:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And ISIS. And Mexico. And China. And NATO. And political correctness. And Al Gore. I have the best fears."


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19/23. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

President John F. Kennedy

Trump version:

"Ask not what your country can do for you. This country is a big fat mess. America is a third world country!"

via GIPHY

20/23. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Ronald Reagan


via GIPHY

Trump version:

Mr. Putin, rebuild that wall! It was a beautiful wall. The best wall.

21/23. "The pen is mightier than the sword."

Proverb

Trump version:

"The nuclear is mightier than the pen."


22/23. "The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club."

Fight Club

Trump version:

"The first rule of Fight Club is: no Mexicans, Muslims, poor people, or broads."

via GIPHY

23/23. "There is only one thing in this world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

Oscar Wilde

Trump version:

"You know what? That's a very strong last quote. I have nothing to add. Great article. Very hilarious. You should share it with everyone."

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