911 operators were asked: "What are some of the stupidest reasons someone has dialled 911?" These are some of the best answers.
1/23 Had a guy call asking if it was legal to shoot his neighbor because his hedges were hanging over his property and he considered it trespassing.
2/23 The call came in from an elderly woman because there was a "Black guy" at the park. I asked her what he was doing she said "Nothing, he's just sitting there." So I asked her what the problem was. Her response was "he shouldn't be there". I almost sent the cops to her place to pick her up as a mentally unstable person.
3/23 Had a woman call during a power outage asking what she should do with her steaks.
4/23 I was a 911 dispatcher in a small rural county for about 2 years. After some training I was finally taking calls and the very first 911 call that came in was from a middle-aged man who was driving with his elderly mother. He had stopped to get gas or something and accidentally locked his keys in the car, and his mother couldn't figure out how to get out of the locked car. I'm all "Ok sir, can you ask her to open the door?", he's all "I'm trying to get her to unlock the door but I don't think she understands what I'm saying." I'm at a loss for words as this wasn't the emergency I was expecting, meanwhile I'm looking to my supervisor for some assistance and she is laughing so hard she can't help. They eventually figured it out between themselves, but it seemed pretty stupid at the time.
5/23 Had a guy smoke waaaay too much pot and call in freaking out, asked for an ambulance.
6/23 A man called to say his house was infested with hundreds of ant [sized] dogs.
7/23 One woman called because she thought her house was being shot at. Turns out she forgot about her eggs boiling on the stove and they exploded. I wanted to give her a hug though, she was just a little old lady.
8/23 We get a ton of misdials because some genius at Verizon decided it would be a good idea to have phone numbers that start with "991-"
9/23 Had a woman call because her "baby" wasn't breathing, so we gave her instructions to do CPR. Medics got there and found her doing CPR on her dog.
10/23 Had another woman call saying her cat was stuck in a tree. I just knew she wanted the fire department to come save the cat, so I got my "that's only in movies/TV" speech ready. Then she said "...so my husband climbed up to get the cat and now he's stuck too."
11/23 I was a 911 dispatcher for a short time. You get a lot of really stupid calls, usually people who don't get the concept that 911 is for emergencies, but it's not a big deal to me unless they use an unusual amount of resources (calling a lot, faking information to get higher priority, using ambulance as a taxi, etc.)
One guy called FRANTICALLY saying that he saw the dead body of a young woman, early 20s, wearing nothing but shorts. He gave a detailed description, hair color, skin color, body position, the whole bit and said she was by the side of the interstate (in the middle of an affluent suburban area at rush hour) so we figured this had to be a really fresh crime scene. We started scrambling together officers to get there ASAP, a big hassle considering it's rush hour and they're all dealing with accidents and stuff like that. On top of that, we can't say what the issue is on the radio is because we have too many busibodies who monitor police radio, then call us to try to get juicy details, or otherwise meddle. So we have to get these officers to their cars to read the computer, leaving other issues, etc. And these are suburban cops in the Midwest, a murder is a big deal.
The guy calls back a few minutes later. "Uh, I checked again, it's a dead deer." Peeved, I announce on the radio that the trip is cancelled, "it was a deer". An officer sarcastically calls back: "With shorts on?"
12/23 We had a call for a guy with a toothache. At 3AM. On a Saturday. The guy stated that he'd been hurting for about three weeks, and no it wasn't getting any worse. He was insisting on going to the hospital no matter how much we discouraged him.
Then he keeled over and went into cardiac arrest. Not so stupid anymore.
13/23 Someone called 911 and spoke Cantonese only. Since we couldn't translate we took him to the closest hospital. Come to find out he needed a ride for his appointment, and we took him to the wrong hospital. Needless to say he was pissed. That's not what 911 is for.
14/23 You took my husband to the hospital, but you left his dog here and now it has to pee. You need to come take it out. I can't walk outside.
15/23 I just cut off my penis, and I'm going to flush it down the toilet before you get here! (He did).
16/23 One woman called sobbing because the snow plow filled in the end of her driveway that she just shovelled.
17/23 To say they think someone messed with their a/c but they don't want to file a report or talk to anyone about it.
18/23 This has happened on three separate occasions to me. Person dials 911 from the ER waiting room of one hospital requesting an ambulance to go to another by ambulance so they don't have to wait.
19/23 A really rich and affluent guy who lived in a huge house called about a disheveled looking SUV at the bottom of his huge driveway and it wasn't the gardener's or housekeeping. The cop had to run the tags and it turns out it belonged to his daughter and he had bought it for her.
20/23 Had a guy call and ask if the line was recorded, I assured him all our lines were recorded. He started to recite his last will and testament and then shot himself. All 911 recordings are legal documents so he just saved money on a lawyer giving his will over the phone.
21/23 I'm in the UK where it's 999, but essentially the same thing. I didn't work there for very long, but I remember a really drunk lady calling up from a bar on a Sunday afternoon to tell me she couldn't find her coat.
When I told her it wasn't an emergency she went crazy at me.
22/23 I had a guy call me one night and tell me he had died. Obviously I was pretty sure he was incorrect in his diagnosis so I started questioning him. He would not tell me where he was but I could hear him walking around (leaves underfoot and such) This was in the fall and it was cold outside. I was asking him what he could see and all he would tell me is that he died and needed me to call his mom and tell her but wouldn't give me her name or a phone number.
Eventually the police dispatcher (who was still listening on the line) was able to get enough clues from him to make an educated guess as to his location. Sure enough, the PD officers found him in a cemetery, naked and piss drunk sitting on a random headstone. He was most assuredly not dead.
23/23 Lady from the EPA called saying there were a few single-bottle meth labs on the side of the road. She insisted that's what they were, citing she had training in the field. Bomb squad was dispatched to find harmless roadside trash.