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1. A girl once asked me to keep my dorm door unlocked so that she could wake me up in the morning. The next morning she crawled into bed with me, and I couldn't understand why she would come over if she was so tired.

I stayed perfectly still so that she would be able to sleep.

2. A girl once asked to use my shower, and left the door wide open as an invitation. So I thought I'd be a funny guy and throw ice cubes at her.

3. This girl and I were alone in my apartment, and we'd just finished watching a movie. She'd had her head resting on my lap the entire time. Afterwards we were spooning on the couch, she cuddled up against me, kissed me on the cheek, and looked up at me expectantly. I stared at her for a few moments and then said, "So... what do you want to do?" After a while I ended up taking her home.

4. In high school, a girl asked me for a ride home from a football game one time, to which I agreed. She asked if I wanted to come in and see her room (I forget why this seemed like a normal thing), and that it wouldn't bother her parents because they weren't home.

So, I went in and had a tour of her house, then left. I was pretty pissed off when I figured it out a while later.

5. She ordered an ice-cream cone, 'accidentally' smeared it on her cheek, and asked me to get it off. I grabbed the last napkin and wiped it off. Persistent as ever, she 'accidentally' smears ice-cream on her other cheek and politely informs me that I can get it off with my mouth, given our napkin deficit. I just said, "Nah, I hate strawberry", and used my dry elbows to get it off.

In hindsight, I should have used my shirt.

6. Her: "No one has even asked me to homecoming!"

Me: "Yeah, me either. So what are you going to do?"

Her: "Well, I guess if no one is going to ask me... I'll probably just stay home."

Me: "That's probably what I'll end up doing too."

Her: "Yeah, so... it would be really nice to go though."

Me: "I agree, but oh well!"

Her: "o_0"

Me: "Mind if I call you that night?"

Her: "Ummm, sure.. "

7. I once had a cute female in my bed. Said she was cold. So...I gave her another blanket.

8. I was dropping my date off at her apartment after a nice evening. She asked me up for coffee, but I politely declined, stating "I can't drink coffee late at night, it keeps me up" Lady, if you're out there, I didn't realize that coffee didn't really mean ... well, whatever.

9. One time, a girl kissed me on a school bus without warning and told me that I could get off at her stop and we could walk to her house because her parents weren't home. I said no because I was going to Miss Dragonball Z.

10. Sitting next to her at a school play:

Her: "My hands are cold."

Me: "Mine too" Continue to do nothing

11. I was coming back home and I was at the bag pickup. This really cute girl and I started talking. The conversation was about how she was just visiting Miami and really didn't know where to go. After a while we realized that we were the only two people who hadn't gotten their bags cause we were at the wrong conveyor. After some joking and a trip to the baggage claim we got our bags and stayed there talking for a bit. My mom called me telling me that she was outside. I said I had to go and I saw a small look of confusion/frown on her face. I got into the car and then it hit me: she wanted me to show her around town, duh. I just look at my mom and said, "You have raised the biggest idiot on the planet."

12. Hung out with girl regularly and she proceeds to walk me out to my car every night we are together. We stand around the car for 20 minutes having what seems to be awkward conversations every time. Did nothing and left.

13. I was at my tutor's house, and for some reason was in her bedroom. I lay down on the bed (feet touching floor), and she came over and straddled me. I just kind of stared up at her; she looked down at me for a few moments, then got off and said OK, let's do the lesson.

It wasn't until a couple of months later that I was like hey, she was waiting for me to make a move. I was clueless because she was my teacher, and she talked about her boyfriend fairly frequently anyway.

14. Gave a girl a ride home, "Want to come in? My parents are at work." Nah, I'm gonna go hang out with my buddies.

15. Girl comes over, changes into a pair of my boxers and lays in bed. Did nothing, wondered why she's wearing them, they are obviously too big for her.

16. Drunk with friends playing card game. Two girls go upstairs and motion me to come. "Hold on, I need to finish this game."

17. After dinner and a movie, we went to a convenience store, she told me to go inside and get "anything I needed". So I come out with a bag of sun chips and two raspberry flavored water bottles. She does a face palm.

18. High school, sophomore year. A really cute girl who lived down the street called me at around 10pm to say that her skirt zipper was broken and she couldn't take it off. She goes on to say her family isn't home and no one else is in the house to help her remove it, and could I come over and help her because "it's an emergency".

She adds that she'll reward me with a glass of wine, since she just had one herself and her parents aren't home.

I, being the utter genius that I am, walk her through (over the phone) how to dissect a zipper, complete with getting angry at her for being slow to get pliers from her dad's garage like I directed her to do.

After hanging up I felt like a great citizen. Now when I look back on it, I just want to hang myself.

19. Her: So this girl I know likes this guy I know but he's been oblivious to all of her signals, so what does she have to do to tell him she likes him?

Me: I don't know, just tell him she likes him?

Her: Like, "I like you?" Just like that?

Me: Yeah, like that.

Her: I like you.

Me: Yeah, tell her to tell him that, and she'll be all set.

pause

Her: ...I like you.

Me: Yup, you've got it... was there anything else?

20. Girl made me a mix CD with gooey love songs. Listened to two, threw it away because the music sucks.

21. On a walk with a girl. "My hands are cold." My thoughts "OH SWEET I BROUGHT GLOVES, SHE'LL LOVE THIS." Procure gloves, girl says no thanks with a puzzled look. My thoughts: "What is she crazy? These are DESIGNED to warm up hands."

It's amazing that we've even survived this far as a species. Share this with your friends by clicking below!

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

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