Let's face it our dogs rule the household. But what if those same rules applied to all citizens on planet Earth? Here are some of the laws that would definitely come into effect if dogs ruled the world.



1/22. Filing a missing persons claim 5 minutes after they've been missing is now the norm.

Mobius_6

2/22. If you stare at a food item long enough with hopeful, pleading eyes, it will literally jump into your mouth.

Foxclaws42

3/22. Vacuum cleaners will be outlawed real quick.

Trigfire

4/. All team sports no longer have structure or rules. They're all just a games of keep away now.

naidee

5/. I peed on this; now it is mine.

AlekRivard

6/. Shouting at the postman for delivering mail as well a unanimous hatred of the postman.

PM_ME_YOUR_PANGOLIN

More.

7/. Warning others in the house of the dangers of a kitchen chair at 2 am.

Wowdudebummer

8/. You must rotate completely several times before you can lay down own your bed.

Leeser

9/. Towels are now not necessary after bathing. Instead, you must run batsh*t crazy around the house and rub on everything until dry.

vitamincandy

10/. If you like someone, you must lick their face profusely. Also, butt shaking is now an accepted way to convey delight.

vitamincandy

11/. Restaurants now serve: Sticks, Grass clumps, Dirt clods, Rocks, Flip-flops, All your important papers and documents.

Aggrons_shell

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12/22. If there is a car door open, you MUST run to it and jump in.

vitamincandy

13/22. Sniffing random stranger's butts as you meet them.

DJscottthebot

14/22. All social and business events start 15 minutes earlier to allow for general excitement upon arrival.

GrilledCheeser

15/. Walking WHILE sh*tting.

Speekergeek

16/. Wearing the "cone of shame" after a medical operation.

Tyronexplosion

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17/. Instead of shaking hands, aggressively sniff butts and take turns playing keep away with folders of paperwork.

curiousbooty

18/. DID YOU JUST VOMIT? BETTER EAT IT BRO!

Truan

19/. It would be completely normal to stand at your front door and wait for your family members to come home. When they do, you absolutely lose your sh*t!

corsicorsi

20/. He who found the sandwich, owns the sandwich.

vitamincandy

21/. If you throw something, it's mine - though I might decide to let you have it back if you're nice.

Gutterflame

22/. Eating your own poop, and actually enjoying it.

[deleted]

I had to stop watching talent shows years ago because while I got to see some really enjoyable acts—especially singers, of which there are a seemingly endless number—I grew sick and tired of how scripted everything felt.

For one thing, I hate overt sentimentalty because it can ring very false, and that's how I've felt whenever I've had to sit through any sob stories. Everyone has a sob story.

The music swells and immediately we'll hear about someone's cancer diagnosis or the fact they lost their house due to foreclosure or that their father died and that afterward they found bodies in his shed and learned he was a notorious serial killer...

Okay, that last one might have been made up. But my point stands.

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Either way, it's pretty entertaining.

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