You can't say these folks have never done an honest day's work. But you can't say they've done more than one either.
Based on the AskReddit thread "Employers and managers who had to fire someone on their first day, what happened?" Link at the end of the article.
1/17. He tried to buy weed off a customer just because the customer looked like someone who might have weed. He didn't.
2/17. I'm a teacher. I was on a committee to hire a new 5th grade teacher. I was showing her the ropes and monitoring her in class behaviour.
I watched this bonehead tell a student "I don't like you very much. Figure it out yourself."
The next thing I showed her was the door.
In the exit interview (had on the walk to the door) I demanded an explanation and she said of the student she 'didn't like':"He was wearing designer jeans. You know his life is all peaches and cream, taking from us little guys."
I say, "Did he make an inappropriate comment to you about money?" She says, "No. But I know their kind."
3/17. The guy did a Tarzan swing on an overhead hoist remote cable going some 20 feet before the cable tore out. It only took maintenance 20 minutes to fix, but he was gone by then.
4/17. I worked at a popular teen/college kid clothing store. I wasn't the manager, but I trained new hires. This one girl shopped at the store a lot and we were excited to hire her.
She was let go because she was late, was caught trying on clothes instead of greeting customers, and apparently laughed when anyone asked for a size larger than a medium.
Her family showed up at the end of her shift, and tried to buy $2k-$3k worth of clothes with her employee discount. Corporate policy sucks, so they got a good portion of it.
Her mom tried to bring it all back years later (completely worn/destroyed) and threw a fit saying she should get full price because the girl had died. Guess who we could all see sitting in her mom's car?
Get your walking papers on the next page.
5/17. My chef hired a guy who was less than a week out of prison for dealing. He was just going to wash dishes. Seemed like an okay guy, just looking for some work because he had just done 5+ years.
So, day one, he goes to head chef and asks, "Hey man, you know anybody here who wants to buy heroin?"
Out the door 2 hours into his first job out of the joint.
6/17. The most memorable firing I witnessed was this man who got hired as VP of Marketing. He thought the title gave him the right to be late on his first day for an important meeting with our board members, VP and CEO. Though irritating, he was given a pass since he was new and rewarded with a second chance to impress.
This proved to be useless as he was later heard propositioning our new interns for sex in exchange to be in this imaginary marketing campaign that supposedly would come with endless perks and cash. The CEO personally escorted him out and kindly told him to go fuck himself. In the most PC way of course.
7/17. The job hours were from 8am to 4:30pm, Monday through Friday. Our new hire showed up about 10 minutes late on the first day.
Normally 10 minutes late isn't that big a deal to me, but it was his first day, and I had pulled 3 other staff members into our 8am meeting so we could discuss the training schedule with our new hire.
So we are already in our meeting when the new guy walks in. He doesn't apologize for being late - he just sits down as I'm going over the training schedule for the week.
After a few minutes of listening to us discuss what he's going to be doing for the rest of this week, he raises his hand and says, "Can we reschedule the afternoon sessions planned for today and tomorrow? I have to leave at 11 today and 12:30 tomorrow."
This was the first time I was hearing about these plans. But that wasn't all...
Get terminated on the next page...
I asked the 3 staff supervisors to give me an opportunity to speak with the new guy alone for a few minutes. They leave the room, so I start talking to the guy about how he can't just change his schedule without running it by management first.
As I'm talking to this guy, he gets a text. He looks down at his phone and puts his hand up, as if he were telling me, "I'll be with you right after I finish reading this text".
As soon as he finished reading the text and looked back at me, I said, "This isn't going to work. Please make sure you take everything you brought with you and do not return. I'll have HR email you your separation papers."
8/17. I got to fire my co-managers sister who called 5 minutes before her first shift and said she'd be there in an hour because she just sat down to dinner with friends.
"What do you mean you just sat down for dinner? Your first shift is in 5 minutes?"
"Yeah I know. But we were out and decided to go for dinner. I'll still be there, just a little late."
"An hour isn't a little late. Be here in 5 minutes or don't bother coming in at all."
"Yes she did. See you in 5, or not at all"
9/17. When I managed a lumber warehouse a couple years back, I kicked out a Labor Ready temp guy out for taking a longer bathroom break than usual because he was shooting up heroin in there.
Clear out your locker on the next page...
10/17. I work for a company that takes care of the HR needs of other small companies in my area. New hires often come in to fill out paperwork.
We had this guy who came in, filled out his name and social security number, gave it to us, then proceeded to steal the front desk guy's wallet and keys. Right in front of the very visible security camera.
Turns out the police knew the guy as we was a repeat offender. He lived right around the corner.
11/17. Worked retail management. On black Friday we had a new guy and his one job was to greet customers. Literally "Hi welcome to ___." Two older ladies walked in and he says "what the f*ck is uuuupppp."
I told him " your time working here." I clocked him out remotely and told him to enjoy his family, because he wouldn't be shopping with the $4 he made working that half hour.
12/17. Caught him snorting some kind of pill. He probably could have gotten away with it, if he wasn't doing it in my office.
13/17. I worked as a manager in an upscale seafood restaurant a few years ago.
We had recently hired a few more wait staff (4 staff), to cope with the customer demand as summer was starting.
Excited to train up new staff for the first time ever, three of them turned up on time and got started with their buddy staff. Guy number 4 turned up over an hour late, stunk of alcohol and BO and had dark yellow pit stains on his "apparently new" white uniform shirt.
I fired him within 10 minutes. He then proceeded to knock over chairs and pull tablecloths off tables so security was called.
Take indefinite leave on the next page...
14/17. Not my team, but another team within the department we worked closely with. They poached this girl from another company, who moved to San Fran from New York.
Turns out the VP (my boss) who okay'ed the hire was just trying to appease the other director who was bugging him incessantly for more resources. The VP KNEW there were gonna be budget cuts and mass layoffs.
But instead of man-ing up and saying no, he said "hire whomever you want" and went on vacation when the layoffs happened, which happened to be on the first day the girl started (she took the week before to move and get settled in San Fran). She was literally in the office for 2 hours (at new hire orientation) before they laid her off.
I still work for this company unfortunately. F*ck this place. It's what happens when a startup becomes successful and is managed by a bunch of inexperienced jackasses who hire outside jackasses.
15/16. A new hire posted to her Facebook page that she was starting a new job, but she was just doing it for the health insurance because she was trying to get pregnant, then she was going to quit. Basically, she was going to work there for 9 months, take paid maternity leave for a couple of months, get the medical expenses paid for, then leave.
Boss got wind of this on the first day and fired her.
16/17. I work at a used record store.
While giving the new guy the tour he mentions how we undervalue our LPS and let's us know he's just going to use his employee discount to re-sell all the good stuff that comes in in our eBay Store. He lasted about an hour.
17/17. New firefighter in my city. Had just finished 5 months academy, graduated the night before, his whole family is there, the mayor, half the city council, and the fire chief pins his badge and then he is assigned to a station. The rookie is told to report to the police department the next morning for tactical driver training (obstacle course and skid pad).
Dude shows up the next morning at the police department, an hour late, still drunk from all the celebrating from the night before. Not only fired, but arrested for DUI. That's the end of his firefighting career.