Got a noise complaint call where the neighbors inform dispatch the parents are out of town and suspect underage drinking and or possible drug use. (These types of calls are the worst because you can almost guarantee someone is puking in the back of your car and you'll have to write a buttload of local ordinance paper). We roll up, throw the overheads on to scatter as many as possible and make a slow walk up to the front door. We play the "nobody's home" game for awhile until one of the kids lets my partner in the back door. We subsequently find around 12 teenagers and what appears to be multiple bottles of rum and vodka as well as several baggies containing marijuana and some pills.

Upon further inspection, we find the liquor bottles have been emptied and filled with water, the marijuana is actually oregano and parsley and the pills were just aspirin. They were having a pretend party to put on social media but the strongest thing in the room was a Redbull.

-winning_ugly

We then drunkenly explained that we had been going in to peoples gardens and swapping around flower pots, hanging baskets and garden ornaments with their next-door neighbours.

Anyway, he gets a call one night about some teenagers vandalizing a park. Dispatch lets him know that its a lady that calls 24/7 thinking she's the neighborhood watch. So as he cruises in towards this park he comes in all lights blacked out and watches from a distance. After a couple minutes of watching he realizes these people are playing hide and seek. They also look a little older than just teenagers. He gets out of a car and sneaks up to some of them hiding in a group behind some trees and bushes. My dad hunkers down behind them and one of them looks back and sees him. The kid freaks out and starts to run and my dad grab's him and says "Dude shut up or the other team will find us!" The guys crack up cause now they realize my dad is down to win this game. He ends up playing hide and seek with this group of 21 year olds for the next hour.

Dispatcher: "Reports of a teenager riding a skateboard naked down Westway."

I was called to a residence where the complainant stated that a child from down the street had brought an item to their house and the she was at a loss.

Upon arrival I made contact with complainant and she relayed this story. "I was washing dishes and I looked out the window where all the girls (neighborhood girls between six and nine years old) were playing on the trampoline. They were using a large rubber penis shaped device to hit each other. I ran out and grabbed it and turned it off"

The kids had no clue what it was and in their defense it was purple with sparkles and other inlays. Kinda pretty if not for the fact it was a 10" rubber dildo.

Well I secured the item in an evidence bag and no crime having been committed I made a command decision to return it to the owner. I took it and rolled it up in said evidence bag in such a way it would unroll when held by the top. I then knocked on the dildo-owners door and when she answered I snapped it down. Using by most curt cop voice I said. "Ma'am your daughter secured your personal item and was accosting your neighbors children with it about the face and neck. At this time your neighbor does not wish to pursue charges, however I will need you to sign this evidence form (it was very detailed description) so I can return your personal item."

I approach them, and get several more units there quickly, cause some shit is about to go down.

When enough of my peeps get there, we get them out of the car.

They are....unshakingly polite, respectful, and cooperative, and actually allow us to search their car, and then their pockets.

We find nothing. Not even an odor of marijuana.After exhausting ourselves going through this car, I eventually cave and ask them what the heck they were doing, because I thought for sure they were up to no good, and I was coming up zilch.

They had gone to the 711, and bought a big tub of trail mix. They were sitting in the car eating trail mix. They showed me the receipt for ten minutes prior and half eaten tub of trail mix.

I told them this was the weirdest shit I've ever seen and apologized that I ran them through the ringer. They agreed that parking in a dark parking lot eating trail mix looks sketchy, and didn't have hard feelings about the ordeal.

-monkeiboi

12/15) I'm not a police officer but a police officer approached me for this.

I was speechless, especially because about 10 minutes before, she and I actually did have a quickie in the parking lot that absolutely would have gotten us in big trouble.

-Dr_D-R-E

To the last page for the best stories yet!

We got a call about kids (probably 11-12 years old) jumping across back yards. They were looking for things to steal I guess.

We searched for them for about 15 minutes. Just as I was starting to get bored with it, I hear laughing coming from a drain pipe. It's about four feet tall. My mate and I decide to head in. About 30m down the tunnel I come see this kid bent over on all fours, pants down around his ankles. His mate is bent over, sitting on his back spreading the first kid's butt cheeks. There is a third kid kneeling next to the first kids butt holding a lighter.

They were in the midst of doing blue angels (lighting farts) in a dark tunnel.

I had no idea what to say.

We told them to come out of the drain with us. I advised them not to tell any of their other friends what they had gotten up to since they would probably get the wrong reputation and drove them within a block of one of the kid's houses so the parents didn't know they had been caught

It's annoying that we have to live with this stigma that gets portrayed by popular media, and quite frankly some of us deserve it. But it's still nice to know when you get through to someone, I mean really alter their perception and break down a barrier put up by others. Cops are here to make sure people don't hurt one another, that's it. If your going to hurt someone else, even if it's just a strong possibility... I'm your worst enemy. But if you're just swaying from societal norms (that change like the weather) and being yourself... Have at it man, you only live once.

-lost098

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