This article is based on the AskReddit question "Hotel maids of reddit, what was the most disturbing thing you found while cleaning out a room?"
Source can be found at the end of the article.
1/15. I had a summer job cleaning hotel rooms. One day a coworker told me she walked into her first room and the first thing she saw, neatly arranged on the desk, were 3 dildos, a note saying please wash and about $2. She didnt.
2/15. I was a hotel maid when I was a teenager and one situation that stood out was this creepy old man who would hit on me and my friend. Every time we would clean his room, the top drawer of his dresser would be open with what seemed to be a strategically placed unused condom that legit was like from the 1970s. I guess he never got to use it.
3/15. I work at a hotel but not a maid myself. Though one day a maid found a woman who committed suicide. She checked in so her family would not be forced to find the body. It was the middle of the day and the hotel was mostly clear of people. Nobody heard the gun shot and we have concrete floors that stopped the bullet from traveling out of the room.
The way it was described to me was it was relatively clean. She laid in bed, put a pillow on her head and shot through it towards the ground. It wasnt until the cops came that blood got everywhere. The maid soon quit afterwards.
4/15. I worked as a housekeeper in a small motel for maybe 2 months. One day we had to clean a room covered completely in paper towels. Everything was covered. The bed, the chairs, the floor. Not horrific, but weird. This next one is why I hated my job, and was happy to have gotten fired. We had to clean a room covered in sh*t. Human poo. On the bed, on the towels. Every where but the toilet. The towels were twisted, and covered like they had been shoved up someone's rectum. And to top it all off, when I asked about being able to use gloves, I was told no. Just grab the sh*t-covered stuff by the edges where they were sh*t free. I hated that place.
5/15. My grandma used to clean hotel rooms and I used to go with her because its a laid back job and nobody else could watch me. My grandma was cleaning and I was sitting on the counter playing my DS. I wanted to get a drink so checked to see if there was ice in the freezer. There was no ice, but there was a popsicle box! I got so excited. I ran into the bathroom and asked my grandmother if I could have a popsicle. Assuming they were in plastic wrap, she said yes. I ran back to the freezer and reached into the cardboard box and pulled out a long, purple dildo covered in human feces. I was 7 years old.
Continue this on the next page!
6/15. We had a lady who cleaned hotels tell us about the time she walked in and there were 10 severed heads in the bathtub with the hotel water running. Immediately left the room and had the manager call the police. Tons of police come to investigate with multiple guys with ear pieces in place. The gentleman who's room it was came back and was immediately taken down. Turns out he was in charge of an ENT cadaver lab being held the next morning and needed to thaw the specimens. Tough to explain but it got sorted out once the heads were all accounted for.
7/15. I cleaned villas for a few months in my late teens. They were pretty pricey, starting at $350 with most being around $600. People were generally pretty good but maybe 1 in 5 left it pretty bad. But the most memorable stay was the busload of business people.
They turned up in a mini bus...maybe a dozen? Men and women, all in suits and looking very sensible. Us cleaners are happy, business folk usually didn't leave much of a mess or cause trouble and they had booked 3 of the 10 buildings. We went up the next morning, after they had left, to absolute chaos. The first two buildings had 2 wheelie bins of trash. Takeaway boxes (for a place not in town), personal hygiene products packaging, wine boxes, empty shopping bags, junk food wrappers etc. I was on bathrooms, and I nearly cried walking in...hair in the drains, scum 6ft up the walls, mud everywhere, spilt shampoo, soap trodden into the drain. It took much longer than it should have.
Finally we finished up those two and were ready to start on the third. It was much bigger, having a large entertainment area. The first thing we noticed was the smell. Perfume, alcohol and really really strong cigars. We left the door open, and took a smoke break.
The head cleaner went in first after our break and you could hear her swear..."oh sh*t, look what they've done. What the hell?!" First, leading from the door was big drops of red wax on the wooden floor. Then lots of (beer?) bottles. Some were broken. Then more rubbish and a lot more wax. It was on the suede lounges, the kitchen benches, the bathroom basin. There were broken wine glasses in one spot, some with lipstick on them and one with blood. Blood drops from there to the sink. More bottles...dozens and dozens of drinks worth. Little piles of ash on the counters. Burn marks on the floor and lounges. It took us all day, even with extra staff, to clean. Then we had to close the larger building for several days while the smell cleared and we got replacements.
The group was contacted about the damage and told they would be charged for all the damage. They didn't care. Apparently asked how much and just said ok.
8/15. Ex-maid for a super 8 in a town in rural Nevada. I found all kinds of weird stuff but the thing that takes the cake was the entire toenail of someone's big toe. Found it in the bathtub.
Continue this on the next page!
9/15. My Mom was a hotel maid and I worked with her during the summers. I remember one day she was done early with her rooms so she came to help me finish up so we could go home. Its always the last freaking room that takes the price. We walked into the room and were automatically hit with the stench of sh*t and vomit. The people staying there were a family of 4, in a suite, and were put up because their apartment had flooded or something. Apparently they had refused cleaning for the last week and now we knew why. The bathtub was filled with garbage, one of the walls was smeared with sh*t. Their 2 year old kid had apparently smeared his own feces onto the wall and they just left it like that and it had dried up. There was a corner with a mountain of diapers. The older kid had gotten sick (probably from living in that filth) and had thrown up everywhere, and I mean everywhere. My mom and I refused to clean the room, we asked the manager to come and see.
It was so disgusting the family got kicked out of the hotel and we had to call a cleaning company to get the dry feces out of the wall. Child protective services also came and asked us questions.
10/15. My brother is a janitor for Holiday Inn and was once called to fix something in a guest's room while they were out. He opened the door and found what appeared to be three newborn children in the bed. Turns out the old couple liked Reborn dolls so much they took them on holiday and had added "breathing" mechanisms to them so the chests would rise and fall like a real baby
11/15. I got a job at a local hotel cleaning the rooms the summer before university. One morning I got in early so it was just me and the front desk staff. I started setting up my trolly then thought it would be a good idea to go look at the rooms that had been checked out first so I didn't get any nasty surprises. As I was walking down a corridor a man in just his boxers stumbled out of his room in an absolute state. He was crying and could hardly breath. He was in such a panic it was scary. He ran at me sobbing "he's dead!, he's dead!".
The rest is a bit of a blur but I decided to just run and get the front desk staff/call 999/not go in the room. The noise alerted some other guests who did go in the room. They also made calls to 999. I did a lot of running about getting information from a man who had gone in the room and a woman who was comforting the crying man.
The ambulance and the police were there in minutes and I spoke to the police for quite a while. It turned out the men in the room were young and had been to a local festival. One of them was a wheelchair user so they stayed at an accessible hotel (mine). I think they both took some drugs (don't know what) or a huge amount of alcohol the night before and the man in the wheelchair choked on his vomit in the night. His friend slept through it. They were both young, early twenties. It was unbelievably sad but it wasn't written about in the newspapers so I don't know about the details.
Continue this on the next page!
12/15. Worked as a cleaner for a cheap, ratty motel in Daytona Beach when I was 17. As part of my pay, I got a free room, because I had nowhere else to be anyway. The guy two doors down from me nearly never came outside, but there was a horrible stench coming from his room. He never let anyone clean it, the owner told me he usually called her to pass his payments in an envelope under the door and she never bothered to question it. This noxious, nasty smell was so thick with ammonia/death-breath that I just assumed he was a speed cook and eventually the whole sh*t hole would be blown up without any of us even realizing it before we were all incinerated...
Sure enough, one day, the old boss is banging on all the doors (her husband calling all the phonesthis was pre-cell phone times), telling us all to get out because there's a fire. I'm standing outside with the rest of the residents as we see haz-mat pulling up and we're all expecting some wild n' crazy Florida Man meth-head action or something. But instead of speed, they started charging through the smoke and bringing out tons and tons of cats. Just tons of them. It turns out it wasn't a very intense fire, but the dude was a filthy hoarder who'd stayed at the hotel for over 10 years, and he had loads of cats. He'd started a fire with the coffee maker or a cig or something and managed to get out with a few cats.
13/15. I used to work at a hotel as a housekeeper. The rule was when you finished all of your rooms you had to go help the other housekeepers (cause they like to go slow to get more hours and we just can't allow that). Anyways. So I wander up to the second floor down at the far end. The room hadn't been stripped yet (the bedding and trash is still in there) and I thought that was odd because normally we have all of the rooms stripped by noon and it was 3pm.
Well. I open the door and this overwhelming stench of sh*t just slams into my face.
I pull my shirt collar up over my nose. It can't be that bad, they probably just didn't flush, right? I press on into the bathroom, eyes beginning to water, my throat having dry involuntary seizures. I force my poor eyes open. NOTHING. The bathroom is spotless. Oh God! Where is it?! The panic sets in. I must go further into the darkness. I must cross the hotel room and open the window. As light illuminates the room, I can finally see what the sh*t demon has done. Do you remember the scene from Dogma, where the sh*t demon comes out of the toilet? I think he left there and checked right on in to my hotel. Crap was smeared all over the white duvets and sheets on both beds- this dude had literally defecated in the bed, switched beds, and defecated that one too! He left a trail of sickly brown matter across the carpet, decorated with tiny surprise excrement nuggets just for me. I noped. I told front desk that I absolutely refused to clean that room and of they wanted to write me up/fire me I would be fine with that.
14/15. I worked as housekeeping in a hotel for a few months when I was 18. The normal nasty things you tend to see is completely trashed bathrooms. One room which was occupied by construction workers constantly had a clogged toilet. After the 2nd time of dealing with it, I ignored it. I've also had a woman somehow catch the bed on fire while I was cleaning her bathroom.
Continue this on the next page!
We didn't have any way to communicate to other associates so I had to run down from the 3rd floor to the first to get the manager. The absolute worst thing I've had to deal with was when I kept turning down the offers of sex to the room of 2 military men. They got super offended that I wasn't interested and went so far as to trash the room. Took boxes of cheez-its and crushed them all over the floor. So many wasted cheez-its smashed into the carpet, Beer cans thrown everywhere, trash stuffed between the mattresses, rolls of toilet paper shoved in the toilet, poop on the walls. It was ridiculous.
15/15. Ex hotel housekeeper here who is ready to tell the story of why I quit. It was a regular day with a slightly smaller than average schedule of rooms for the day so I was in a good mood. I had 12 rooms that day. Normally I'd have 14-16.
So I get to my last room, excited to be close to finishing for the day and I open the door only to be greeted by a grotesque display of everything that is considered repulsive and dangerous to touch. There were... let's see if I remember this right... used condoms filled with semen on the bed accompanied by stains which may or may not have been semen. There was blood all throughout the room. Too much blood for there to have not been a murder. Like... Jigsaw played a game in the room.
There were used needles, crack pipes, other random drug things... empty pill bottles, broken and unbroken liquor bottles, cigarette butts along with ashes and burn marks, plus tons of trash... Then the bathroom. There was urine everywhere. More blood. Vomit in the tub, in and around the toilet and... here's the good part... ceiling. There was vomit on the ceiling. I noped out of the room and called the front desk and asked them to call the police. The cops came to investigate the blood and drug use in the room and probably the people who had rented it and checked out. I left for the day.
So the next day rolls around and I look at my sheet and see that same room. Confused, I go up to the third floor and I see the room in the same condition minus the drug stuff. Condoms, vomit, blood, bottles, cigarettes, trash, all still there.
I call the manager and tell them I'm not doing it. It's a job for a biohazard team. They tell me, "Just get what you can. Wipe everything you can off the surfaces. We'll have a fabric cleaner come in for the rest." Nope. I quit. I dealt with small amounts of bodily fluids on a daily basis and I was fine with it, but that was WAY too much to ask of a 17 year old kid on minimum wage.
Click below and SHARE this with your friends!
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.