We've all had that boss - the one who makes you fantasize about quitting in a big way. But these people actually went through with it.
Based on the AskReddit thread "People that quit their job in a hilarious fashion, how did they do it?"
1/13. I wrote my two week notice on a condolence card that said "I can'tcomprehend the depth of your loss."
-Prettygoodpizza
2/13. I was 19 and working at the worst radio station imaginable,"AM Country Gold". The notoriously cheap, abusive and dishonestowner, a fella named "Wes," had just screwed me out of a promisedbonus. It was the latest in a long line of dishonest acts and I had had enough.
The rest of the sales team was afraid to stand up to Wes and he screamedabuse at them constantly (except the lone woman, who he sexually harassed).
They were all in their 30's & 40's, working the same garbage job I was, but desperately needed it. I did not. So I engaged in a very public shouting match with Wes in the lobby, saying all the things everyone there had always wanted to say. Then I swept the contents of the front desk onto the floor and stormed out.
Instead of leaving, I went around the side of the building to a pay phone and called the radio station request line. In a fake Southern accent, I said, "Hey y'all, I just told my cheap, no good, lying piece of human garbage boss to go to hell. Play me out with, "Take this Job and Shove It," and dedicate it to my former boss, Wes!"
The disc jockey had no idea what had just happened in the lobby, or that my Wes was "the" Wes, so he enthusiastically played my recorded dedication and added, "This one is for you Wes, choke on it you sack of crap!"
The building had speakers inside and out constantly playing the radio feed, so I got to hear Wes get clowned by his own radio station before driving off into the sunset.
-LAND0KARDASHIAN
Keep reading on the next page.
3/13. I used to work at a place that rhymes with "Pizza Hut" and themanagers there were real cheapskates.
There was this nice old man that would come in every Sunday and order atriple extra cheese pizza and while they charged him for the 3x cheese, theywould forbid us from ever actually putting that much cheese on a pizza becauseapparently cheese in the pizza selling world is akin to gold.
So instead of 3x extra cheese he would really be getting what theinstructions would qualify as barely enough for a regular cheese pizza.
On the day my 2 weeks notice ended the old guy just happened to be my lastorder so I went into the walk-in and grabbed an entire box of cheese, proceededto dump the entire thing onto his pizza and tossed it into the oven. It was stackedso high that it couldn't even fit into it and half of it was scraped off.
Anyways, the look on the old guys face when he saw me do this made it allworth it (imagine pure excitement). Needless to say I didn't put the correctphone number down for future job references.
-Not_A_Doctor_Venture
4/13. A guy from my work years ago came in high and the boss figured it out. Shebrought him into the office to fire him and with a cop to escort him out.
Forhis final stand, he came real close to her face and said: "In a world ofdarkness, where you carried the only light. I still wouldn't follow you"and left.
-folkyea
5/13. I used to work for a telecommunications company.
My mom was very sick over the last 3 months of her life, so I had to gohome most weekends to see her. It's a 6 hour journey to get from where I workedto the town where I'm from.
When her birthday came around, I requested a coupleof days off that I had saved for this specific occasion. Yet the days off weredenied because we were approaching a busy time of year for sales.
At thispoint, I hadn't mentioned what was happening at home, because well, I wasalways taught that you keep your work and personal lives separate. But I saidit to my boss, who, at the time, I saw as a pretty compassionate person. She just looked at me point blank and said "I don't want tohear it".
Keep reading on the next page.
After that meeting, I went back to my desk and sat there for about 20 minutes, thinking of a solution.
That solution was to get my things, and just leave. I said goodbye to myfriends on my way out, flipped my boss off and just walked out.
I went straightto my car and drove back to my home town that night. It was the best decision Iever made.
I got to spend all my time with my mom before shewent. We even got to go on a vacation and spend one last week away togetherbecause I had the time to do so.
-IThinkIAmASofa
6/13. I knew a guy in high school who hated working at a movie theater. Calledhis boss and told him he wasn't feeling well because he went hiking, gotswarmed by bats, and got bit by one.
Shows up later that evening to watch amovie with a cape and fake fangs in his mouth.
Fired on the spot.
-RIPmyFartbox
7/13. Worked as a teen for McDonalds for a month or two during the winter in the90's. We were understaffed and they usually had me working the deep sink andtaking money at the drive thru.
One day I come in at 4pm and the breakfaststuff is pilled to the ceiling at the sink because the day shift rolled outwithout taking care of it, as per usual.
There was a snowstorm this particular day and with the amount of dishes todo and the increasing frequency of running over and taking money from thewindow during the dinner rush, my hands were beginning to hurt, then goingcompletely numb. I let the manager know this wasn't working out today and getblown off...
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F*ck it, I crawl straight the f*ck out of the money window without anyone noticing, at least no one on the staff. I get in my car and drive to the parking lot across the street and watch that dinner rush drive thru line back up out of the lot and down the street.
-Seadgs
8/13. 17, hole in the wall popular fast food place. Worked 3 to 11.
A friday. We needed a MINIMUM of 4 people to run the place.
And that's with everything getting totally trashed. 6-7 people was reallywhat was needed.
Nobody showed up but me. Previous shift went home.
Called the manager. No answer. Called the owner. "Just do the best youcan."
Turned off the lights, locked the door, put a stickynote on it that said 'I quit'. And went home.
I did the best I could.
-theawesomethatis
9/13. There was a UPS strike in the 90s and I was employed by them in high schoolas a sorter. Blockbuster Video at the time had this mail order deal where you'dget a VHS tape and bags of popcorn.
Anyway,all these boxes full of microwave popcorn and VHS tapes would slide down thebelt and about half of the popcorn bags would explode or break.
After about anhour there was popcorn dust all over. I asked my boss for a mask, and he saidthat they didn't have any. Some of the drivers walked by wearing masks, and Ifollowed them and found a full cabinet full of masks. I confronted my boss, andhe was like, "the masks are for drivers, only..."
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So I went back to the sorting area and stopped working. I just stood there. The belts were backing up with these boxes of popcorn and I knew they would burst ,and clouds of powdered popcorn butter would fill the air. I waited about 45 minutes before the belt shut off.
I walked out through a haze of popcorn dust, with alarms blaring, people running everywhere trying to figure out what was going on. A lot of people didn't get their VHS tapes that week.
-rikers_evil_twin
10/13. I wrote a respectful letter thanking them for the opportunity and all they'vetaught me.
The first letter of every sentence spelled out "F*ck [boss]
Nobody noticed.
-InternetSpaceship
11/13. My friend quit Taco Bell right in the middle of his shift by writing"F*CK YOU, I'M OUT" on the floor with the big sour cream gun.
-Landlubber77
12/13. I worked at Home Outfitters when I was 17. Worked cash one day per week andstocked shelves/cleaned up the mess of the back room a few other times duringthe week...
Now when I say mess, imagine everything you need to clean theplace, plus overstock, plus USING THE F*CKING CARDBOARD CRUSHER AS A STORAGEUNIT. This backroom was a mess.
Anyway one of my cash days I rang up a discountwrong, ended up charging a guy $72 for his purchase rather than $85. Bossyelled at me, told me I was going to pay for it and that he was going to bespeaking to the Manager about possibly letting me go.
That was his mistake...
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First thing I did in the 4 hours I had left for this shift. I relabbled theentire Vaccuum and Kitchen sections wrong. I am saying wrong names, pricing,stock codes, everything.
I called the workplace safety board, and emailed them over 20photos from my phone on problems in the backroom/on the floor.
Manager got fired by corporate, the assistant manager who yelled at me quitbecause of the pressure.
-iamthejed
13/13. I worked for a law firm doing research and analysis. I wrote a customprogram, on my own time, that would automate editing down these huge lists we'dget from an outside vendor, boiling it down to only what we wanted. Sounds minimal but it was actual a huge time saver.
A layoff was announced, I was part of theoutplacement, but the firm wanted to continue using my program.
I asked if there would be compensation as it was coded on my own time,never paid for it, etc. I was told no and "besides, there's really nothingkeeping us from still using it when you're gone."
For the remainder of my time (2 years), I would create patches whenever theformat of the data changed. With my last patch, I put in code that woulddisable the program and erase key parts of the program one month after my lastday.
From what I understand from people still with the firm, on day X everyonecame in, booted their machines, and the program was simply gone. Efficiencyfell through the floor, delaying opening cases, billing clients, etc. I wanted10k, they lost more than that in the first week without the program.
-Photog1981
