We've all had that boss - the one who makes you fantasize about quitting in a big way. But these people actually went through with it.
Based on the AskReddit thread "People that quit their job in a hilarious fashion, how did they do it?"
1/13. I wrote my two week notice on a condolence card that said "I can'tcomprehend the depth of your loss."
2/13. I was 19 and working at the worst radio station imaginable,"AM Country Gold". The notoriously cheap, abusive and dishonestowner, a fella named "Wes," had just screwed me out of a promisedbonus. It was the latest in a long line of dishonest acts and I had had enough.
The rest of the sales team was afraid to stand up to Wes and he screamedabuse at them constantly (except the lone woman, who he sexually harassed).
They were all in their 30's & 40's, working the same garbage job I was, but desperately needed it. I did not. So I engaged in a very public shouting match with Wes in the lobby, saying all the things everyone there had always wanted to say. Then I swept the contents of the front desk onto the floor and stormed out.
Instead of leaving, I went around the side of the building to a pay phone and called the radio station request line. In a fake Southern accent, I said, "Hey y'all, I just told my cheap, no good, lying piece of human garbage boss to go to hell. Play me out with, "Take this Job and Shove It," and dedicate it to my former boss, Wes!"
The disc jockey had no idea what had just happened in the lobby, or that my Wes was "the" Wes, so he enthusiastically played my recorded dedication and added, "This one is for you Wes, choke on it you sack of crap!"
The building had speakers inside and out constantly playing the radio feed, so I got to hear Wes get clowned by his own radio station before driving off into the sunset.
Keep reading on the next page.
3/13. I used to work at a place that rhymes with "Pizza Hut" and themanagers there were real cheapskates.
There was this nice old man that would come in every Sunday and order atriple extra cheese pizza and while they charged him for the 3x cheese, theywould forbid us from ever actually putting that much cheese on a pizza becauseapparently cheese in the pizza selling world is akin to gold.
So instead of 3x extra cheese he would really be getting what theinstructions would qualify as barely enough for a regular cheese pizza.
On the day my 2 weeks notice ended the old guy just happened to be my lastorder so I went into the walk-in and grabbed an entire box of cheese, proceededto dump the entire thing onto his pizza and tossed it into the oven. It was stackedso high that it couldn't even fit into it and half of it was scraped off.
Anyways, the look on the old guys face when he saw me do this made it allworth it (imagine pure excitement). Needless to say I didn't put the correctphone number down for future job references.
4/13. A guy from my work years ago came in high and the boss figured it out. Shebrought him into the office to fire him and with a cop to escort him out.
Forhis final stand, he came real close to her face and said: "In a world ofdarkness, where you carried the only light. I still wouldn't follow you"and left.
5/13. I used to work for a telecommunications company.
My mom was very sick over the last 3 months of her life, so I had to gohome most weekends to see her. It's a 6 hour journey to get from where I workedto the town where I'm from.
When her birthday came around, I requested a coupleof days off that I had saved for this specific occasion. Yet the days off weredenied because we were approaching a busy time of year for sales.
At thispoint, I hadn't mentioned what was happening at home, because well, I wasalways taught that you keep your work and personal lives separate. But I saidit to my boss, who, at the time, I saw as a pretty compassionate person. She just looked at me point blank and said "I don't want tohear it".
Keep reading on the next page.
After that meeting, I went back to my desk and sat there for about 20 minutes, thinking of a solution.
That solution was to get my things, and just leave. I said goodbye to myfriends on my way out, flipped my boss off and just walked out.
I went straightto my car and drove back to my home town that night. It was the best decision Iever made.
I got to spend all my time with my mom before shewent. We even got to go on a vacation and spend one last week away togetherbecause I had the time to do so.
6/13. I knew a guy in high school who hated working at a movie theater. Calledhis boss and told him he wasn't feeling well because he went hiking, gotswarmed by bats, and got bit by one.
Shows up later that evening to watch amovie with a cape and fake fangs in his mouth.
Fired on the spot.
7/13. Worked as a teen for McDonalds for a month or two during the winter in the90's. We were understaffed and they usually had me working the deep sink andtaking money at the drive thru.
One day I come in at 4pm and the breakfaststuff is pilled to the ceiling at the sink because the day shift rolled outwithout taking care of it, as per usual.
There was a snowstorm this particular day and with the amount of dishes todo and the increasing frequency of running over and taking money from thewindow during the dinner rush, my hands were beginning to hurt, then goingcompletely numb. I let the manager know this wasn't working out today and getblown off...
Keep reading on the next page.
F*ck it, I crawl straight the f*ck out of the money window without anyone noticing, at least no one on the staff. I get in my car and drive to the parking lot across the street and watch that dinner rush drive thru line back up out of the lot and down the street.
8/13. 17, hole in the wall popular fast food place. Worked 3 to 11.
A friday. We needed a MINIMUM of 4 people to run the place.
And that's with everything getting totally trashed. 6-7 people was reallywhat was needed.
Nobody showed up but me. Previous shift went home.
Called the manager. No answer. Called the owner. "Just do the best youcan."
Turned off the lights, locked the door, put a stickynote on it that said 'I quit'. And went home.
I did the best I could.
9/13. There was a UPS strike in the 90s and I was employed by them in high schoolas a sorter. Blockbuster Video at the time had this mail order deal where you'dget a VHS tape and bags of popcorn.
Anyway,all these boxes full of microwave popcorn and VHS tapes would slide down thebelt and about half of the popcorn bags would explode or break.
After about anhour there was popcorn dust all over. I asked my boss for a mask, and he saidthat they didn't have any. Some of the drivers walked by wearing masks, and Ifollowed them and found a full cabinet full of masks. I confronted my boss, andhe was like, "the masks are for drivers, only..."
Keep reading on the next page.
So I went back to the sorting area and stopped working. I just stood there. The belts were backing up with these boxes of popcorn and I knew they would burst ,and clouds of powdered popcorn butter would fill the air. I waited about 45 minutes before the belt shut off.
I walked out through a haze of popcorn dust, with alarms blaring, people running everywhere trying to figure out what was going on. A lot of people didn't get their VHS tapes that week.
10/13. I wrote a respectful letter thanking them for the opportunity and all they'vetaught me.
The first letter of every sentence spelled out "F*ck [boss]
11/13. My friend quit Taco Bell right in the middle of his shift by writing"F*CK YOU, I'M OUT" on the floor with the big sour cream gun.
12/13. I worked at Home Outfitters when I was 17. Worked cash one day per week andstocked shelves/cleaned up the mess of the back room a few other times duringthe week...
Now when I say mess, imagine everything you need to clean theplace, plus overstock, plus USING THE F*CKING CARDBOARD CRUSHER AS A STORAGEUNIT. This backroom was a mess.
Anyway one of my cash days I rang up a discountwrong, ended up charging a guy $72 for his purchase rather than $85. Bossyelled at me, told me I was going to pay for it and that he was going to bespeaking to the Manager about possibly letting me go.
That was his mistake...
Keep reading on the next page.
First thing I did in the 4 hours I had left for this shift. I relabbled theentire Vaccuum and Kitchen sections wrong. I am saying wrong names, pricing,stock codes, everything.
I called the workplace safety board, and emailed them over 20photos from my phone on problems in the backroom/on the floor.
Manager got fired by corporate, the assistant manager who yelled at me quitbecause of the pressure.
13/13. I worked for a law firm doing research and analysis. I wrote a customprogram, on my own time, that would automate editing down these huge lists we'dget from an outside vendor, boiling it down to only what we wanted. Sounds minimal but it was actual a huge time saver.
A layoff was announced, I was part of theoutplacement, but the firm wanted to continue using my program.
I asked if there would be compensation as it was coded on my own time,never paid for it, etc. I was told no and "besides, there's really nothingkeeping us from still using it when you're gone."
For the remainder of my time (2 years), I would create patches whenever theformat of the data changed. With my last patch, I put in code that woulddisable the program and erase key parts of the program one month after my lastday.
From what I understand from people still with the firm, on day X everyonecame in, booted their machines, and the program was simply gone. Efficiencyfell through the floor, delaying opening cases, billing clients, etc. I wanted10k, they lost more than that in the first week without the program.
The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.