"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? " William Shakespeare
1/12. Back in high school I dated a girl for 6 months before she decided it wasn't working out anymore and she cheated on me with about 6 guys and stole my iPhone and wallet to buy drugs. I wanted to report her to the police like my parents encouraged me to and to prevent me from doing such her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends and busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to kill me if i reported him or his sister (this is South Florida, so i believed he would do it).
My dad got a new job and we moved to a new city but i was still pissed about this whole situation so i did the next best thing. I created two fake Facebook account of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such and added her brother on Facebook with the girl and my ex with the guy.
It wasn't too long before he started flirting "me" up and tried his best to get in this girls pants. on the other hand, having already courted my now ex i knew exactly what to say to charm her to the point that she was in love with me. This is where it all begins to get fun.
I started a sexting relationship between the brother and sister with me as the intermediate thanks to google voice. Both of them had fairly typical south florida bodies so nothing really gave anything away and i did a fair amount of photoshopping to remove identifiers in the room that may give away anything.
This went on for about a month and a half totalling about 200 or so nudes between the two of them when i decided to reveal the curtain and send a group of unedited pictures that included key identifiers (face and rooms).
Oh holy jesus how shit went down. I only wish i had some way to see how they reacted. Friends who still lived there told me her brother moved in with his dad that week and that they no longer spoke.
All in all, about 4 months till i got my revenge but it was amazing.
2/12. A school bully repeatedly knocked a binder from my best friend's hands every single day while we walked down the hall. Now we were in high school back in the pre-Columbine era, so people didn't freak out as often when kids did f*cked up sh*t.
I convinced my friend to stick tacks through an entire side of his binder, turning it into an extremely dangerous spiked weapon and just hold on extra tight while waiting for the bully to come do his thing. The kid lacerated his hand pretty badly. After he slammed his hand down into it my friend held on and yanked back.
Jackass didn't try that sh*t again.
3/12. My then-high-school-girlfriend was a total b*tch, and wanted me to abandon all of my friends, would always try to bring me down, etcetcetc.
When I got fed up, I broke up with her on picture day. She took them, but her mascara was everywhere. Two days later, I told her that I was sorry, blahblah, and I wanted to get back together. She liked having someone to walk on, so of course she said yes.
I then broke up with her again on retake day. F*cking nailed it.
4/12. I've posted this before but couldn't resist. My older brother (who was in high school and a foot and a half taller at the time) threw me into the ceiling and let me drop to the floor. So for the next year or so I would wait until he would leave the house, and go into his closet and pee in his shoes. I didn't tell him for around 20 years, but when I did he said " you little bastard, I could never figure out why my feet always smelt so bad".
5/12. Friend and I were fishing at a local creek when my friends brother pulled up. Being the dick he normally was he started throwing rocks in the creek to scare the fish and then he threw my friends bike in the creek. We were 13 at the time, my friend was crying and I felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got his bike out, told him we would get his brother back.
About a month later we were fishing again and it was the dead of summer. I told my friend today is the day we get his brother back. Caught a 2/3 pound carp, threw it up on the side of the bank and left it there until we were done fishing. At the end of the night went back to his place his brothers car was sitting on the street, we took the carp sliced it open and threw it under the drivers seat and rolled his windows 3/4 up.
The next morning when we woke and left I forgot about what we had done. Well when I rode past JT's car I noticed the window was kind of black and then I took a closer look it was covered in flies. I actually got scared because I did not expect to a window caked with flies. By the time I got home I was laughing in tears because his brother was always such a dick to us.
Fast forward to baseball practice about 3 days later, friend had a black eye but smiled at me when we made eye contact. His brother flipped out and ran into his house and punched him in the face. His mom flipped out on his brother, brother was grounded for the rest of summer. His mom said that my friend would never do such a thing and he played along and acted as if he had no idea. Apparently the smell never really left the car. We nicknamed his brother lord of the flies.
6/12 I'm immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard (About a full acre). I'd left it on this concrete area behind our garage (Because that's where it was near when I pulled it out. Hey, I was/am lazy.) Anyway I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood (This is in south Louisiana) I didn't always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A 'Big kid', probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real Jerkass. He'd do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing. Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket it went with some water, stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my water gun. Went back to the pond. On the way back home he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my gun, but man it was worth it.
From what I hear he didn't go back to school for almost two weeks.
7/12. Not me, my brother:
When my younger brother was about 3, my father had to look after him for the day. The plan was that he, after asking his boss, would take him into work for the day. It was office work, and he was friendly with his boss, so my mum assumed it was no big deal.
My father, however, didn't want a toddler distracting him all day, so he left him in the car with the radio on and a carton of apple juice. (This is Britain, so it wouldn't overheat, but either way he was being an arse.) At the end of the day he returned back to his car to drive home, expecting a sleeping toddler who wouldn't tell his mother a thing.
Instead, upon his return, he found his son jumping up and down on the front seats to the radio on full blast, naked and laughing, slipping around and covered in shit. He had soiled himself, removed his nappy his faecal matter EVERYWHERE. Shit was smeared all over the driver's seat, the windscreen, the steering wheel, the satnav, the drivers window, even hand printed on the ceiling. Our dad didn't even know that toddlers could even produce this vast amount of turd. The only car seat that was completely untouched was his own.
My 3yo brother was abandoned in a car for 8 hours, later found smearing his own-brand revenge-paint all over my father's beloved BMW.
8/12. One time when I worked in a small video store as an assistant manager there was this one customer who was being a real assh*le to the point where I got fed up with his sh*t and threw him out. He had been an assh*le to every single other employee in the store, including our boss. He was just a mouthy harassing jerk (it would take way too long to go into the details).
Anyway, I saw him in a little strip mall nearby one time and he was bragging to some guys about he was cheating on his workers compensation. Then he pulls out this wad of cash and waves it under their noses like a Japanese fan. "I got all this f*ckin free money from lying about my injured hand!" What an assh*le.
Anyway if you go into the blue pages of the phone book you'll find this listing in all cap letters that says;
WORKERS COMPENSATION FRAUD HOTLINE
-and take a wild guess what video stores keep in their records? Full name, home address, and phone #. Not only did I turn this guy in but was also able to provide great detail as to exactly how he was faking his injury as he explained it to his two friends.
9/12. At an all male military boarding school during high school, there was this HUGE douche on my hall. We took his Febreze bottle and filled it with piss. Then took said bottle and sprayed his pillow, wall locker and opposite corner. So he gets back, smells urine and immediately grabs his Febreze and douses EVERYTHING.
10/12. I moved around a lot as a kid. Dad in the Army. Parents divorced. Not staying in one place made long-term friendships impossible. But my situation attracted bullies like flies.
I moved to a new school. A bully picked up my scent instantly. Tripping and shoving. Making fun of my clothes. Nothing too terrible, but I was already unhappy, so I felt miserable anyway.
One school day, I asked to use the restroom. I passed by said bully on the way into the bathroom. He actually didn't do anything to me this time.
When I entered the the restroom, someone was in the only stall, crapping on the floor. I walked out of the bathroom, disgusted, ready to tell on them (I was seven at the time).
I was ready to reenter my classroom when an incredible, yet devious idea came to me. I went straight to my bullies classroom and walked inside.
Everyone looked at me, which normally would have given me enough hesitation to turn me 180o and back to class. But that day, I didn't so much as pause. I walked up to the teachers desk, pointed at my tormentor and boldly proclaimed that he had shit on the bathroom floor.
The teachers reaction was better than I could have ever expected (for me). She made him follow her into the restroom while he cried and slobbered out 'I didn't do it! he's lying!' over and over again. She then grabbed a wad of paper towel, handed it to him and we watched as he picked in up and put it into the commode. She thanked me for telling her and told me to go back to my classroom.
This happened about twenty years ago. I still look back at this moment as a turning point in my life. Like I became me then.
11/12. I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations etc.
One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us highschool kids to work the store, and promised us $50 a week for the summer to be paid at the end of the summer.
We agreed, and started working. We gave up a summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else.
Well the end of the summer comes around. It's our last day of work, and he comes by with our pay checks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer.
Needless to say, we weren't too happy, but his words were "what the f*ck are you gonna do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won't need it anymore".
We came up with a plan to pay this douche bag back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could, cigarettes, money from the register, candy. Probably about $1000 worth of sh*t, locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
Next day there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it, but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn't pay us and stopped doing business there.
I don't feel bad. F*cker deserved it.
12/12 I worked as a server in a fine dining restaurant in a touristy town in Florida. The owners, a husband and wife team, were notorious for being cruel and petty bastards, but it was 2008 and I had just been laid off so I had to take anything. On top of that, I was engaged to be married (paying for the wedding ourselves) and planning a move to NYC as well.
This could be an incredibly long story, so I will just give a few examples of their batshit cruelty.
- Dyslexic Server who trained me. Fired a week after I started because he took too long to write the specials on the chalkboard. (They knew he was dyslexic.)
- His replacement. Dec. 23rd. She was fired for selling the wrong bottle of wine. While this was definitely her mistake, their handling of it was despicable. She sold a $125 bottle of wine for $35. (Restaurant prices not the restaurants actual cost. those were $56 and $10.) The owner let the table know of the servers mistake, saying "I hope you are enjoying that bottle of wine, its actually a $125 bottle. But don't worry, You don't have to pay for it. Your server will have to." Needless to say, the table was furious for being put in that awkward position, and were gracious enough to give an awesome secret tip to cover the cost. Here is the nasty part. She finished out her shift and paid the total $125 thinking she still had a job. She was fired on Christmas eve by text message.
- 3. Me. I kept quiet as much as I could. I saw that when ever you shared any bit of your personal life with these f*cks, they used it to torment. The wife-owner follow me around the FOH and berate me in increasingly weird ways with the intent to emasculate. Once they met my fianc and from that moment on, the wife-owner would make jabs saying "she doesn't seem like she is too thrilled to get married," or "She probably expects better," and then laugh it off like she was just joking. It was my strategy to just eat sh*t and save money, and not let it bother me. She figured this out right away and got downright sadistic, trying to see how far they could push me and see what I would do without complaint. I managed to suck it up for 2 years thanks to alcohol, no backbone, and financial need. My breaking point was when she told me to take away the chair our hostess was sitting in when no customers were around. Granted sitting on the job is supposedly unprofessional, but she was an elderly woman, sick, working outside. The hostess wouldn't dare call in sick as she was working here illegally from Hungary, and similarly had to eat as much sh*t as was thrown at her. So rather than talk to the hostess and possibly take over for her sick employee, she asked me to snag the chair from her without explanation. Here is the f*cked up part. I did it. I f*cking did it. The hostess understood. Really, what could she say? she knew what was happening and gave me this look of understanding that I'll never forget. I got a few feet away and put the chair back, looking straight back at the vile sh*tstain that asked me to be cruel to another person for her amusement. The owner didn't say a word to me about my subordination and gave me the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. 2 weeks later, I was closing out my tips and receipts with the husband-owner. I had counted my bank prior to cashing out with him as I always did. Everything added up just fine. Turns out he had secretly added in a cash ticket to my till for $150. It showed on the report he printed at 1 minute before running the cash out report. I had only 4 tables, all cash tips on all credit card tickets that night so it was not hard to keep track of.(Lucky me I thought) I questioned this and said I had double checked my math and he must have made some mistake. His response was, "If you don't like it, there is the door." That pretty much sealed it. I knew what was happening and luckily my brain initiated the YOU IS BOUT TO BE FORCED TO QUIT SO YOU DONT GETS THE UNEMPLOYMENT MONIES Disaster recovery response. I refused to pay him and said I will be returning to work tomorrow for my next scheduled shift, and we can work this out then. He said f*ck you, get out. I was fired. This was very important. I was fired. I didn't quit.
I was a month away from moving to NYC with my wife to try to start a career in my field. I just needed one more month of saving every last penny I made and I was out! This pretty much f*cked me.
So I filed for unemployment stating the reasons I was fired on my last night, which met the eligibility requirements. The unemployment office contacted my former employer for verification and he said I was fired for stealing wine and there were witnesses. My claim was denied. The next step was to dispute the claim. I disputed and it went to the adjudication process. Basically what amounted to a phone hearing between my former employer, an unemployment case worker, me, and any "witnesses."
This is where I got revenge.
I knew of the upcoming hearing, and my employer was notified by mail of the date. The letter explained the process and instructed to line up any witnesses and materials needed for the case. It also stated that you have a period of time to reschedule the hearing if needed. An unemployment worker explained the process to me over the phone before the letters were mailed. I then paid a anarchist punk guy with beer to steal any of their mail from the unemployment office and bring it to me. Leading up to the hearing I also reported them to ASCAP for playing copyrighted music in their establishment without paying dues, (A fairly hefty fine) and reported some of their more crooked dealings to the IRS. (Namely how the wife-owner would use her name as an employee for several of the illegal workers, underreporting earnings, etc) I also dropped a dead fish into their gutters above their patio, waited a week for the rats to appear and called the heath dept.
At the time of the hearing, the owner was caught off guard and tried to reschedule. He was not allowed to reschedule because the letter (Which he never received...hehe) stated that failure to attend the hearing automatically results in a ruling for the other party. He complied and we went along with the hearing without his fake witness. During the hearing I kept calm but he lost his temper. I answered my questions in a way to really get his anger going, and it worked. the key question posed to my former employer was "Had he not stolen any property, would you still have fired him?" He slipped and said yes, sending the ruling in my favor.
A few weeks later I received my check for all the past months of unemployment. It was enough to get me to NYC.
2 and a half years later, I am still married (HA B*TCH!!) and found an excellent job in my field with great pay, benefits, an awesome boss, and union representation. They are struggling to keep the doors open and have both had a host of financial problems.
Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?
You're not alone.
Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.
Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.
AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"
Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.
"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015
"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo
"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz
"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades
Take Your Pick
"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100
"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer
"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er
"Lembas" -- Roxwords
"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister
Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.
The One and Only
"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox
"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits
"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo
"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified
"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85
"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy
Get a Big Old Chunk
"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."
Slurp, Slurp, Slurp
"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox
"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM
"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun
Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.
That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.
What's In It??
"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes
"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth
Slice of the Future
"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91
"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros
As Sweet As They Had
"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon
"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes
"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade
Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
When a movie rakes in a ton of cash at the box office, the studio that made it has only one thing on its mind: "How do we keep shaking this money tree?"
Unfortunately, that means they make sequels, sometimes sequels on sequels on sequels.
At times, the sequels are solid. They tie nicely into the first film, emphasizing the qualities that brought folks out to the first one, while immersing them into that world for another great couple of hours.
But sometimes, it's wildly clear that the longterm planning behind a sequel was minimal at best. These part two's are truly terrible experiences, made even more disappointing by the excitement created by everyone's love for the first.
Some Redditors shared the worst examples.
Sullivans97 asked, "What is the worst movie sequel ever?"
Plenty of contributions to the thread were noteworthy simply because the Redditors' deep hatred for a sequel spurred them to write a very entertaining review.
"Son of the Mask. Worst sequel. Worst movie. Worst piece of entertainment. Worst experience to sit through as a human being."
Oddly Specific Analogy
"Independence Day: Resurgence."
"What the fu** was that giant heap of steaming camel sh**?"
Two Key Elements
"The plot is mostly driven by Mushu acting like a real piece of sh**, and Shang gets turned into the butt monkey of the movie as a consequence."
"Vastly inferior to the first one."
Just Horrible Decisions Every Step of the Way
"Where is Speed 2?"
"Speeding cruise ship (Zzzzzzz)"
"WTF were they thinking?"
Other people chose to discuss the sequels that, for whatever reason, chose not to include the key attributes that made the first movie so good.
Whether it was the absence of character, actor, or overarching theme, the experience was as puzzling as it was frustrating.
Insert Muscle Here
"Kindergarten Cop 2. Yes it does exist and it is a bad as it sounds. Dolph Lundgren takes over the role of Schwarzenegger." -- TheBassMeister
"Bro, don't be such a jabroni. Imagine, a super ripped, super smart cop-in a mesh tank top-named officer Dolph Lundgren." -- why_not_fandy
"Ugh wtf the movie was great why make another one" -- c_girl_108
"American Psycho 2. It wasn't even originally intended to be a sequel, they just shoved the name on it and added loose references to Patrick Bateman. Awful." -- Mountain_Situation89
"Mila kunas who is in it was told it was a different name and was pissed when they ended up making it a 'sequel' " -- Imfrank123
"Yea, that's the thing. The movie would have been a decent film if it was just a serial killer film and not an AP sequel." -- JennyBean2000
"It had some okay parts, but what they did to Justin Long's character completely undercuts the meaning of the first movie. And no Ryan Reynolds."
Last, some people realized that any film franchise that goes beyond two installments is just asking for things to go downhill in a hurry.
Once you cross three--and even four--your just too far from the source.
What Even Is Home Alone 5?
"Home Alone 3, 4, and 5" -- theWet_Bandits
"I honestly enjoyed 3, sure it made no sense at all, but I can look past that and really enjoyed it. 4 and 5 on the other hand, I barely remember what 4 was about and had completely forgotten that 5 existed until just now." -- botbattler30
End of the Mummy Era
"The third Mummy movie." -- goshawkgirl
"Fun fact: The trailer for Mummy 3 has Brendan Fraser saying "here we go again" and Ben Stiller thought that line was ironically hilarious in terms of cranking out soulless sequels and it inspired the 'here we go again....again' line in the fake trailers at the beginning of Tropic Thunder." -- Call_Me_Koala
Part of the Reboot Frenzy
"Not to repeat others here (hopefully), but the 4th Indiana Jones movie should never have been made."
"For what it is worth, The odd numbers are great, the even numbers are terrible with the last one being one being Steven Segal bad."
So there you have it. A full list of movies to avoid at all costs no matter how bored you are flicking through Netflix lists.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Oftentimes I like to do my best Ghostface impression and aggressively ask people what their favorite scary movies are. Because I personally have a lot! At the same time, I'm also terrified that at any point, I could end up getting my head punched off by Jason Vorhees (Part 8 of the series--best one IMO).
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.the simpsons react GIFGiphy
My friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
Don’t you hate when that happens?Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
I was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.Giphy
I am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
I hate hypocrites. They are the bane of my existence. All you have to do is stand behind your words. How hard is that? You said them. I especially get peeved when people bloviate on a topic and condemn and holler but then when it comes to them doing it... silence.Redditor u/ErrForceOnes wanted to know about the moments people chose to curiously "pay no mind" by asking... What is a GIANT hypocrisy that no one seems to mind?
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphy
Italian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDSGIF by MOODMANGiphy
People screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
FashionFashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphy
If a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016Giphy
Politicians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.