"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? " William Shakespeare
1/12. Back in high school I dated a girl for 6 months before she decided it wasn't working out anymore and she cheated on me with about 6 guys and stole my iPhone and wallet to buy drugs. I wanted to report her to the police like my parents encouraged me to and to prevent me from doing such her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends and busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to kill me if i reported him or his sister (this is South Florida, so i believed he would do it).
My dad got a new job and we moved to a new city but i was still pissed about this whole situation so i did the next best thing. I created two fake Facebook account of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such and added her brother on Facebook with the girl and my ex with the guy.
It wasn't too long before he started flirting "me" up and tried his best to get in this girls pants. on the other hand, having already courted my now ex i knew exactly what to say to charm her to the point that she was in love with me. This is where it all begins to get fun.
I started a sexting relationship between the brother and sister with me as the intermediate thanks to google voice. Both of them had fairly typical south florida bodies so nothing really gave anything away and i did a fair amount of photoshopping to remove identifiers in the room that may give away anything.
This went on for about a month and a half totalling about 200 or so nudes between the two of them when i decided to reveal the curtain and send a group of unedited pictures that included key identifiers (face and rooms).
Oh holy jesus how shit went down. I only wish i had some way to see how they reacted. Friends who still lived there told me her brother moved in with his dad that week and that they no longer spoke.
All in all, about 4 months till i got my revenge but it was amazing.
2/12. A school bully repeatedly knocked a binder from my best friend's hands every single day while we walked down the hall. Now we were in high school back in the pre-Columbine era, so people didn't freak out as often when kids did f*cked up sh*t.
I convinced my friend to stick tacks through an entire side of his binder, turning it into an extremely dangerous spiked weapon and just hold on extra tight while waiting for the bully to come do his thing. The kid lacerated his hand pretty badly. After he slammed his hand down into it my friend held on and yanked back.
Jackass didn't try that sh*t again.
3/12. My then-high-school-girlfriend was a total b*tch, and wanted me to abandon all of my friends, would always try to bring me down, etcetcetc.
When I got fed up, I broke up with her on picture day. She took them, but her mascara was everywhere. Two days later, I told her that I was sorry, blahblah, and I wanted to get back together. She liked having someone to walk on, so of course she said yes.
I then broke up with her again on retake day. F*cking nailed it.
4/12. I've posted this before but couldn't resist. My older brother (who was in high school and a foot and a half taller at the time) threw me into the ceiling and let me drop to the floor. So for the next year or so I would wait until he would leave the house, and go into his closet and pee in his shoes. I didn't tell him for around 20 years, but when I did he said " you little bastard, I could never figure out why my feet always smelt so bad".
5/12. Friend and I were fishing at a local creek when my friends brother pulled up. Being the dick he normally was he started throwing rocks in the creek to scare the fish and then he threw my friends bike in the creek. We were 13 at the time, my friend was crying and I felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got his bike out, told him we would get his brother back.
About a month later we were fishing again and it was the dead of summer. I told my friend today is the day we get his brother back. Caught a 2/3 pound carp, threw it up on the side of the bank and left it there until we were done fishing. At the end of the night went back to his place his brothers car was sitting on the street, we took the carp sliced it open and threw it under the drivers seat and rolled his windows 3/4 up.
The next morning when we woke and left I forgot about what we had done. Well when I rode past JT's car I noticed the window was kind of black and then I took a closer look it was covered in flies. I actually got scared because I did not expect to a window caked with flies. By the time I got home I was laughing in tears because his brother was always such a dick to us.
Fast forward to baseball practice about 3 days later, friend had a black eye but smiled at me when we made eye contact. His brother flipped out and ran into his house and punched him in the face. His mom flipped out on his brother, brother was grounded for the rest of summer. His mom said that my friend would never do such a thing and he played along and acted as if he had no idea. Apparently the smell never really left the car. We nicknamed his brother lord of the flies.
6/12 I'm immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard (About a full acre). I'd left it on this concrete area behind our garage (Because that's where it was near when I pulled it out. Hey, I was/am lazy.) Anyway I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood (This is in south Louisiana) I didn't always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A 'Big kid', probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real Jerkass. He'd do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing. Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket it went with some water, stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my water gun. Went back to the pond. On the way back home he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my gun, but man it was worth it.
From what I hear he didn't go back to school for almost two weeks.
7/12. Not me, my brother:
When my younger brother was about 3, my father had to look after him for the day. The plan was that he, after asking his boss, would take him into work for the day. It was office work, and he was friendly with his boss, so my mum assumed it was no big deal.
My father, however, didn't want a toddler distracting him all day, so he left him in the car with the radio on and a carton of apple juice. (This is Britain, so it wouldn't overheat, but either way he was being an arse.) At the end of the day he returned back to his car to drive home, expecting a sleeping toddler who wouldn't tell his mother a thing.
Instead, upon his return, he found his son jumping up and down on the front seats to the radio on full blast, naked and laughing, slipping around and covered in shit. He had soiled himself, removed his nappy his faecal matter EVERYWHERE. Shit was smeared all over the driver's seat, the windscreen, the steering wheel, the satnav, the drivers window, even hand printed on the ceiling. Our dad didn't even know that toddlers could even produce this vast amount of turd. The only car seat that was completely untouched was his own.
My 3yo brother was abandoned in a car for 8 hours, later found smearing his own-brand revenge-paint all over my father's beloved BMW.
8/12. One time when I worked in a small video store as an assistant manager there was this one customer who was being a real assh*le to the point where I got fed up with his sh*t and threw him out. He had been an assh*le to every single other employee in the store, including our boss. He was just a mouthy harassing jerk (it would take way too long to go into the details).
Anyway, I saw him in a little strip mall nearby one time and he was bragging to some guys about he was cheating on his workers compensation. Then he pulls out this wad of cash and waves it under their noses like a Japanese fan. "I got all this f*ckin free money from lying about my injured hand!" What an assh*le.
Anyway if you go into the blue pages of the phone book you'll find this listing in all cap letters that says;
WORKERS COMPENSATION FRAUD HOTLINE
-and take a wild guess what video stores keep in their records? Full name, home address, and phone #. Not only did I turn this guy in but was also able to provide great detail as to exactly how he was faking his injury as he explained it to his two friends.
9/12. At an all male military boarding school during high school, there was this HUGE douche on my hall. We took his Febreze bottle and filled it with piss. Then took said bottle and sprayed his pillow, wall locker and opposite corner. So he gets back, smells urine and immediately grabs his Febreze and douses EVERYTHING.
10/12. I moved around a lot as a kid. Dad in the Army. Parents divorced. Not staying in one place made long-term friendships impossible. But my situation attracted bullies like flies.
I moved to a new school. A bully picked up my scent instantly. Tripping and shoving. Making fun of my clothes. Nothing too terrible, but I was already unhappy, so I felt miserable anyway.
One school day, I asked to use the restroom. I passed by said bully on the way into the bathroom. He actually didn't do anything to me this time.
When I entered the the restroom, someone was in the only stall, crapping on the floor. I walked out of the bathroom, disgusted, ready to tell on them (I was seven at the time).
I was ready to reenter my classroom when an incredible, yet devious idea came to me. I went straight to my bullies classroom and walked inside.
Everyone looked at me, which normally would have given me enough hesitation to turn me 180o and back to class. But that day, I didn't so much as pause. I walked up to the teachers desk, pointed at my tormentor and boldly proclaimed that he had shit on the bathroom floor.
The teachers reaction was better than I could have ever expected (for me). She made him follow her into the restroom while he cried and slobbered out 'I didn't do it! he's lying!' over and over again. She then grabbed a wad of paper towel, handed it to him and we watched as he picked in up and put it into the commode. She thanked me for telling her and told me to go back to my classroom.
This happened about twenty years ago. I still look back at this moment as a turning point in my life. Like I became me then.
11/12. I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations etc.
One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us highschool kids to work the store, and promised us $50 a week for the summer to be paid at the end of the summer.
We agreed, and started working. We gave up a summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else.
Well the end of the summer comes around. It's our last day of work, and he comes by with our pay checks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer.
Needless to say, we weren't too happy, but his words were "what the f*ck are you gonna do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won't need it anymore".
We came up with a plan to pay this douche bag back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could, cigarettes, money from the register, candy. Probably about $1000 worth of sh*t, locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
Next day there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it, but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn't pay us and stopped doing business there.
I don't feel bad. F*cker deserved it.
12/12 I worked as a server in a fine dining restaurant in a touristy town in Florida. The owners, a husband and wife team, were notorious for being cruel and petty bastards, but it was 2008 and I had just been laid off so I had to take anything. On top of that, I was engaged to be married (paying for the wedding ourselves) and planning a move to NYC as well.
This could be an incredibly long story, so I will just give a few examples of their batshit cruelty.
- Dyslexic Server who trained me. Fired a week after I started because he took too long to write the specials on the chalkboard. (They knew he was dyslexic.)
- His replacement. Dec. 23rd. She was fired for selling the wrong bottle of wine. While this was definitely her mistake, their handling of it was despicable. She sold a $125 bottle of wine for $35. (Restaurant prices not the restaurants actual cost. those were $56 and $10.) The owner let the table know of the servers mistake, saying "I hope you are enjoying that bottle of wine, its actually a $125 bottle. But don't worry, You don't have to pay for it. Your server will have to." Needless to say, the table was furious for being put in that awkward position, and were gracious enough to give an awesome secret tip to cover the cost. Here is the nasty part. She finished out her shift and paid the total $125 thinking she still had a job. She was fired on Christmas eve by text message.
- 3. Me. I kept quiet as much as I could. I saw that when ever you shared any bit of your personal life with these f*cks, they used it to torment. The wife-owner follow me around the FOH and berate me in increasingly weird ways with the intent to emasculate. Once they met my fianc and from that moment on, the wife-owner would make jabs saying "she doesn't seem like she is too thrilled to get married," or "She probably expects better," and then laugh it off like she was just joking. It was my strategy to just eat sh*t and save money, and not let it bother me. She figured this out right away and got downright sadistic, trying to see how far they could push me and see what I would do without complaint. I managed to suck it up for 2 years thanks to alcohol, no backbone, and financial need. My breaking point was when she told me to take away the chair our hostess was sitting in when no customers were around. Granted sitting on the job is supposedly unprofessional, but she was an elderly woman, sick, working outside. The hostess wouldn't dare call in sick as she was working here illegally from Hungary, and similarly had to eat as much sh*t as was thrown at her. So rather than talk to the hostess and possibly take over for her sick employee, she asked me to snag the chair from her without explanation. Here is the f*cked up part. I did it. I f*cking did it. The hostess understood. Really, what could she say? she knew what was happening and gave me this look of understanding that I'll never forget. I got a few feet away and put the chair back, looking straight back at the vile sh*tstain that asked me to be cruel to another person for her amusement. The owner didn't say a word to me about my subordination and gave me the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. 2 weeks later, I was closing out my tips and receipts with the husband-owner. I had counted my bank prior to cashing out with him as I always did. Everything added up just fine. Turns out he had secretly added in a cash ticket to my till for $150. It showed on the report he printed at 1 minute before running the cash out report. I had only 4 tables, all cash tips on all credit card tickets that night so it was not hard to keep track of.(Lucky me I thought) I questioned this and said I had double checked my math and he must have made some mistake. His response was, "If you don't like it, there is the door." That pretty much sealed it. I knew what was happening and luckily my brain initiated the YOU IS BOUT TO BE FORCED TO QUIT SO YOU DONT GETS THE UNEMPLOYMENT MONIES Disaster recovery response. I refused to pay him and said I will be returning to work tomorrow for my next scheduled shift, and we can work this out then. He said f*ck you, get out. I was fired. This was very important. I was fired. I didn't quit.
I was a month away from moving to NYC with my wife to try to start a career in my field. I just needed one more month of saving every last penny I made and I was out! This pretty much f*cked me.
So I filed for unemployment stating the reasons I was fired on my last night, which met the eligibility requirements. The unemployment office contacted my former employer for verification and he said I was fired for stealing wine and there were witnesses. My claim was denied. The next step was to dispute the claim. I disputed and it went to the adjudication process. Basically what amounted to a phone hearing between my former employer, an unemployment case worker, me, and any "witnesses."
This is where I got revenge.
I knew of the upcoming hearing, and my employer was notified by mail of the date. The letter explained the process and instructed to line up any witnesses and materials needed for the case. It also stated that you have a period of time to reschedule the hearing if needed. An unemployment worker explained the process to me over the phone before the letters were mailed. I then paid a anarchist punk guy with beer to steal any of their mail from the unemployment office and bring it to me. Leading up to the hearing I also reported them to ASCAP for playing copyrighted music in their establishment without paying dues, (A fairly hefty fine) and reported some of their more crooked dealings to the IRS. (Namely how the wife-owner would use her name as an employee for several of the illegal workers, underreporting earnings, etc) I also dropped a dead fish into their gutters above their patio, waited a week for the rats to appear and called the heath dept.
At the time of the hearing, the owner was caught off guard and tried to reschedule. He was not allowed to reschedule because the letter (Which he never received...hehe) stated that failure to attend the hearing automatically results in a ruling for the other party. He complied and we went along with the hearing without his fake witness. During the hearing I kept calm but he lost his temper. I answered my questions in a way to really get his anger going, and it worked. the key question posed to my former employer was "Had he not stolen any property, would you still have fired him?" He slipped and said yes, sending the ruling in my favor.
A few weeks later I received my check for all the past months of unemployment. It was enough to get me to NYC.
2 and a half years later, I am still married (HA B*TCH!!) and found an excellent job in my field with great pay, benefits, an awesome boss, and union representation. They are struggling to keep the doors open and have both had a host of financial problems.
Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
Some people need to get out of the house.
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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"Do you know who I am?"
A question which often comes from an exasperated individual, who believes they are entitled to VIP treatment everywhere they go.
Occasionally, these people are indeed household names whom most everyone would likely recognize.
More often than not, however, people might need some reminding as to how or why said individual should be recognized.
Each and every time, though, the arrogant question is never justified, and is often greeted with an appropriate response.
Redditor brotherbrother99 was eager to know the best clap backs to this notorious question, leading them to ask:
"What is the best response to "'Do you know who I am?'"
That's starting to get old.
"I bet you use that line a lot."- michaelochurch.
Right back atcha!
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"I AM!"- itskavia.
Need a reminder?
"Did you forget?"- Virtue-Killer-2.Who Am I GIFGiphy
You tell me.
"No, who do you think you are?"- Random_puns.
I'll have to ask someone else.
“'Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!'"
"'Do you know who he might be?'”- llovejoy1234.customer service call center GIFGiphy
I'll take a guess
"Ronnie Pickering."- Shadow_0852.
I'm getting a sense...
"I know who you think you are."- automoth.
I'll help you figure it out.
"My husband was working in construction."
"A guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other."
"When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him."
"The guy goes, 'do you know who I am?'”
"My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, 'Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!'”- Littlepaintbrush0814.
"Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."- ShadyMyLady.
Rightfully put in their place.
"There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "'do you know who I am?'"
"To which the waiter replied, 'yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter'."- ScholarImpossible121Giphy
Of course, when people do dare to ask "do you know who I am", they never realize that the people they ask this immediately discover the answer.
Which is someone absolutely no one wants to be around.
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Moviegoers go to the cinema to be transported and forget–even for about two hours–about either the mundanity of their everyday lives or the stress of problematic situations.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"
Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
That doesn't happen in real life.
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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Life's viewpoints can be so different when you're younger, when you have your whole life ahead of you, when you think you're fighting back against some tyrannical power bent on keeping your rebel heart in check. It's then, in those rage-filled glory years, you might think, "I'll never become like them. I'm going to keep sticking it to the man."
But years pass, and before you know it, you are "the man."
"What is your "You have become the very thing you swore to destroy" moment?"
You know who you are right now?
Doesn't matter if you responded, "No I'm not!" to that statement. You are your mother. You are your father. And there's nothing you can do about it. Cue evil laughter.
Rhetorical Questions Abound
"I told my friend's kids they could have a toy if they didn't fight over it, and if they fought I would take it back, they agreed, then proceeded immediately fight over it when I turned around. Without any conscious input from my brain I span back and heard myself exclaim "What did I just say?!""
"And suddenly I was my mother."
Coming Round Full Circle
"I teach at my old high school lol literally have coworkers that have sent me to the principal’s office before"
It's Going To Rot Your Brain!
"Complaining to my son about him playing to much video games."
Nothing Better Than Plans Getting Cancelled
"Growing up, my dad hated going out. When we went on church outings, we were always the first family to leave. He just wanted to stay in and read the paper or watch tv. I vowed to never be as boring as him when I got older."
"Now that I'm older, nothing makes me happier than when plans get cancelled and I can just chill at home, and not worry about the commute or how much money I'd have to spend going out. Even if it's something I'm looking forward to like a band I really wanna see, part of me still wants to not go because of how crappy the late night commute will be."
Where Do You Even Sit?
"My couch has no less than 8 decorative pillows on it. I am a monster."
"This is the worst one"
You don't think the job changes you. "I'm never going to sell out to the man," you tell yourself as you wake up at 4am to make your commute to the office.
Little do you know...
It's In The Fine-Print Within The Fine-Print
"I make commercials for a living. I f-cking hate commercials to the core of my soul."
"Ugh dude same."
"I got hired as an animator at an agency not too long ago, so I figured I'd be doing lots of fun and flashy animations. I don't mind making commercials so long as they've got interesting visuals, which is something I greatly enjoy doing."
"I've been making glorified powerpoints about Medicare ever since I got hired. I've frequently received feedback to literally "make it less fun". A project I made 2 years ago, a fun and flashy internal use video, is getting a new iteration that I'll be doing soon. The old version made setting up web pages and product descriptions look interesting."
"They said they didn't like it and to "have less fun" with it, so I plan on being spiteful and making it f-cking awful to sit through. The problem with that is that I know that's exactly what they want."
"I'm reminded of the Pixies from Fairly Odd Parents, and how Timmy and the gang are the exciting antithesis of the drab corporate culture the pixies represent. I didn't think I'd become one. Lord help me."
Karmic Payback Is Amplified In The Classroom
"I was in a computer class in high school and would drive the teachers nuts. I even had the other kids mocking the teachers by shouting out "on task!" whenever the teacher would start looking around to make sure we were working."
"I now teach a high school computer class. A student the other day stopped me before I could tell them to put their phone away and go back to work by saying "I know, I know, on task, on task".
"I was speechless and just left the student to return to my desk and rethink my life choices."
Stopping People From Having Fun
"When I setup the website blocker on the company network. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get around those blockers at school, and now I'm the one setting it up."
"Edit: Admittedly, I'm not so evil as to block things for being categorized as "tasteless" like my school did, it's really just porn and illegal things, but I still feel slimy for doing it."
"Edit 2: Also, so be clear, I don't work at a school. My company does however employ a lot of Salesmen, and they're basically children, so..."
Leaving The Grunt Work To Someone Else
"When I was an apprentice electrician it always pissed me off when my journeyman would make me do the hard manual parts of a job while he did the easier, but more technical work. I always swore that when I got my license and my first apprentice that I’d be different."
"That went out the window pretty quick."
We're products of those who raise us. We take in what they do, what they say, and how they act to become the people the outside world gets to interact with.
It's critical we recognize this, for better or worse.
Seeing, Growing, Learning
"Sh-t, a looooong time ago (when I was 11 or so) I was walking across the school yard. My dad used to beat my butt when he was having a bad day and it really f-cked with me, so I was walking and just fuming, hating on him and how much of a tyrant he was for taking out his anger on me."
"Well, in that moment I bumped into a kid like 1/2 my size and he went to the ground. He hugged my legs (I think reflexively) and I just started pounding his face. I remember him crying, begging me to stop, the hatred, and then just a sudden moment of clarity. I realized I was a sh-tty person, that I was super mean, and that the kid I was hitting had done nothing wrong but was just a helpless target for my anger. I instantly flipped to empathizing for him, and saw myself for who I was. I can't describe the horror."
"I started crying and helping the boy up, we walked to the office together in tears and I ended up telling my principal everything. It was a long time ago, so they just decided to give me an in school suspension and not inform my parents."
"Also, that kid and I ended up exchanging SNES games and playing mtg/warhammer together a bunch in the following years. Andrew, dude, I can't apologize enough, and thank you so much for not leaving me in a hell of my own creation. Decades later and I still think about you, and how kind of a person you were, you changed a life, man."
"EDIT: Okay, just to clear up misconceptions and mass respond. This did not flip a switch and end my relationship with violence and anger. That took, well, up until today and then some. I still have anger that flares up and completely blinds me, but after decades, I'm not losing control or lashing out. Andrew wasn't one of the kids that I went after at school, I picked on kids that I thought were bullies, totally oblivious to the commonalities between me and them."
"I don't really have words for those of you that were bullied, or hurt while at school. Except that those of you that fantasize about beating up bullies now, as adults, need to find a better method for feeling empowered. You are literally just adult versions of playground bullies, we all had the kids that we thought were okay to victimize for some justification or another."
We all have to grow up sometime.
Maybe don't worry so much about picking up that ice cream on the way home.
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