10 People Share That One Moment They Witnessed The Fury Of A Patient Man.
Recently, a Redditor asked "What happened that time you saw the fury of a patient man?" and people quickly began sharing their personal stories.
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
Source can be found at the end of the article.
1/10. When I was in high school, an upperclassman at my all male student Catholic school followed a female teacher into the bathroom and pulled a knife on her. She started screaming. That was when the gentlest, most caring, teacher heard the scream, and rushed from his classroom straight into the women's restroom. He then clocked this kid across the face and dragged him out by his collar into the hall. Then he checked on traumatized female teacher. Later, he just went back to class and continued teaching as though nothing happened. Dude knows seven languages, has never dated anyone, and is a brilliant, always calm, man. People gained a lot of respect for him after that day.
2/10. Gym class in high school. The quiet nerdy kid kept getting picked on during dodgeball. One jerk kept hitting him with balls even when he was already out. The quiet kid wasn't tiny, he was about average sized, maybe a little taller than average. He eventually lost his temper, ran across the court, and literally delivered a double-handed choke slam to the jerk. Being a bunch of teenage boys, we all cheered for him. He got suspended for three days but it was reduced to one day in-school after a bunch of us went to principal and explained the circumstances.
3/10. My dad was career Army as an Officer. I have always known him as a soft-spoken, kind, never gets angry kind of person. He rarely ever raises his voice that I know of. There is a law in the US that basically protects any service member nearing 20 years from being forced out so they can get full retirement benefits. One day he gets a call from his commanding general telling him that he is going to be forced out due to budget cuts army wide. He got up out of his seat and started yelling at the general on the phone that it was impossible due to the law since he was in the "safe zone". He started quoting section after section yelling at the general telling him he had messed up, and that it better be fixed.
A few days later my dad got a call again from the general, and the first thing the general said was "before you say anything, let me apologize for the other day, you where 100% correct". But budget cuts are budget cuts, and as soon as my dad hit 20 years he was retired.
Continue this on the next page!
4/10. I used to work as a shelf packer at a supermarket. Every few nights this couple would come in and without fail the girl with hair that was always somehow wet, would spend the entire time berating the guy. She would yell at him for anything he did "that's not the f**king laundry powder we get you idiot", "bring the trolley over here f**kwit", "don't move the trolley, I'm only getting one thing and then coming back. You're such a moron". If she wasn't finding little things to yell at him about she would just attack him personally, call him worthless, weak, stupid, etc. You would be able to hear her high pitch grating voice no matter where you were in the store. I never heard this guy say a word. He just kept pushing that trolley with a dead inside look and a 1000 yard stare. I had dreams about just whispering to him "I'll distract her, just run man, run".
Anyway, I've been watching this for about a year and one day she's laying into him and he's just pushing that trolley looking dead inside and she tells "you're a nothing, a f**king nothing". He just stops, looks at her and talks to her like he's channeling Clint Eastwood "Well then what are you if the best you can get is a nothing" He lets that sit for a second then says "you're less than nothing, now be quiet". Dude then keeps pushing that trolley leaving the woman standing there dumbfounded. It made me so happy.
5/10. A teacher once made fun of my brother and implied that he was not intelligent in a really mean way, (He was in 5th grade and in Honors classes, but the teacher had a reputation for being mean to kids and have very little patience) in front of his peers. The thing is, she did this while my dad worked at its sister school down the hall. So instead of telling my dad that he was struggling, she said so in front of his friends. My dad is a calm catholic man who doesn't smoke, or drink. My dad has been working as an English teacher for 20 years, so lets just say he has a way with words.
When he found out he went straight to her while my brother and I waited in the hall way. We heard no shouting, screaming, or bickering, but half way through we heard sobbing (like a close friend just died kind of sobbing). When my dad left the room to take us home I caught a glimpse of the woman. She sat in her chair with her elbows on her desk, tears rolling down he face. She looked somehow pale and cherry red at the same time. She had the face of a woman who had been told she had messed up beyond her understanding.
She was fired the next day.
My dad just smiles when we ask him what he said to her all those years ago.
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6/10. Working in an auto parts warehouse, one of our managers was a very quiet, collected person. One particular day some of the orders were wrong and the ordering system was malfunctioning. He calmly goes out back, starts up a forklift and rams it full speed at a huge stack of wood pallets. He must have thrown it in reverse and repeated this about a dozen times, raising and lowering the forks appropriately. Everyone stopped working to watch as every last pallet was destroyed. When there was only a pile of wood scraps left he turned off the lift and calmly walked back in and continued working as if nothing happened.
7/10. My dad has the patience of a saint. You never see him get angry or pissed off. He's quiet, calm and so laid back. Pretty much like me. Even when we were kids he never gave us a telling off at all, it was always Mums job as she was strict.
Anyway, we were at the dinner table and me and my siblings were all bickering, not sure about what. All of a sudden my dad slams his fists on the table and shouts "Shut up". We all put out heads down in shock, as we never experienced this before.
One by one, we started to giggle, even our mum started giggling. We looking over to my dad who was looking down at his plate, and all we could see was his shoulders going up and down, and of course he just burst out laughing.
I think he shocked himself that day. But no one could take it seriously!
8/10. My FIL is such a patient man. He's quiet, reserved, has a great sense of humor (when my MIL lets him get any words in). My MIL talks. A lot. She will ask you questions and when you start to answer she talks over you and tries to answer them herself. It's infuriating and obnoxious.
One time she asked me a question and I started to answer her and she cut me off to basically finish my answer for me and starts to ask another question. Lather, rinse, repeat for about 4 questions.
Finally my patient, quiet, sits back and watches the world FIL just EXPLODES on her basically screaming at her.
"MIL! OH MY GOD! Let her actually ANSWER the question you asked! STOP interrupting!! You never let anyone finish their thought!"
It was glorious and I almost tackled him to hug him.
She still does it but that day was amazing.
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9/10. My uncle is the most peaceful person I know. He's essentially a living version of what would happen if you combined Gen. Iroh, Bob Ross, and Dr. Doolittle. He keeps a garden. Feeds wild birds out of the palm of his hand. Has been known to just walk up to a deer without it running away. I've never heard him raise his voice except to talk to someone really far away in my entire life.
He was in the military during Vietnam. Not sure what branch. He never saw a combat zone; he was the guy who fixed stuff that came back from a combat zone.
The war ends. He goes home and returns to his normal life working at a tire factory. One night he's getting off of a hard day at work and wants a drink, so he goes to the local bar. Three guys are standing outside talking amongst themselves and he goes to walk in, but they stop him.
He tells them he doesn't want any trouble; he's just had a stressful day at work and wants to grab a drink. They go back and forth for a while and eventually he just pushes past them to get in. They didn't like that and pulled him back, where he proceeded to knock one unconscious and floor another. The third backed off and let him inside. By the time he'd left, they were nowhere to be seen.
10/10. My grandfather is a nice, funny, flirty guy. Was an exec at a manufacturing business after being the third employee. Everyone gets along with him, and he was fairly well off in my small town.
One day my cousin and I are helping him with some work, and we go to the store. There is a lot of poverty in my home town and one of the poorer families was at the store. My cousin makes some comment about them being poor and what were they doing at the store because they couldn't buy anything or something along those lines. My nice grandfather grabs him and slams him against a wall and says, "Nothing in your life makes you better than them. Right now, I'd rather have them by me than you." He then makes my cousin go apologize and my grandfather announces my cousin will pay for whatever they re getting. He makes my cousin work off the expenses for him to prove a lesson and now that cousin is a stand-up social worker specializing in poverty, abuse, and rehabilitation.
Only time I have ever seen my grandfather be aggressive.
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I DoShocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"Are you married?"
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Room TemperatureFrosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
DiscoveryBlown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy
"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
EssentialsTell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy
"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.
We all had our aspirations about becoming a certain type of person or accomplishing different goals when looking towards the future.
But the goals we have for ourselves can drastically change once we're adults, and that's partly due to the influence of different life experiences.
Sometimes, despite our best intentions and respective strategies to achieve something by a certain age, we can never imagine experiencing different outcomes.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.
Not much good can come from dwelling on the past.
Even so, no matter how hard we try to avoid doing so, we can't help but look back on things we've done in our lives which we regret.
In some cases, it's nothing which had any sort of lasting effect, like wishing we thought more carefully about where we had a birthday or spending more than we could afford on an outfit that didn't end up paying off.
In sadder cases though, we often wonder what our lives might have been like if he had made a different, and smarter decision.
If we didn't say certain things to certain people, not spoken up when someone needed us to or rushed too hastily into a life we weren't ready for.
"What is one thing you regret doing in life?"
Giving People Attention Who Didn't Deserve It
"Wasting time worrying about people that never spared me a single thought."- Eborys
Getting In With The Wrong Crowd
"I regret making friends with people who I knew were bad for me just because it was easier than becoming friends with good people."
"Now I don't have many solid friends."- misswallflowerr
Staying In, When They Should Have Gotten Out
"Not ending bad/unhealthy/unfulfilling relationships sooner."- Superseriouslyguys
"Hanging on to a relationship for too long."
"I should have up and disappeared the first time he was disrespectful."- Mirrorflute88
Not Taking Enough Risks
"Not putting myself out there enough."
"I probably missed out on a lot of opportunities because I'm so self-conscious."
"Working on this though!"- Fife_Flyer
"Not following my dreams and ended up sitting behind a desk for 30 years."
"Of course, I'm currently on Reddit sitting behind my desk."
"So, there's that."- CatOnTheHill
"Overthinking my way out of potentially rewarding choices."- mmmmike1590
Rushing Into Things
"Going to college before I had the slightest idea what I wanted to do with my life."- Mysterious_Shake2894
Taking Things For Granted
"Not spending more time with my mom."
"I visited her 2-3 times a week but still, there were other times she'd call and I'd ignore the call or tell her I didn't have time to talk."
"Would give anything to go back and take every one of those calls."- Fruitjustlistens
Putting Their Health At Risk
"Most of 2019–addiction bottom."
"Sober now for 432 days and counting."- CommunicationTop5231
"20 years spent on expensive, self-fed poison."
"Biggest regret of my life, by far."- Itsprobablysarcasm
"Mentally exhausting myself at work for companies that turned out to not give a sh*t about me or value my work."- fpuni107
"Being too nice to tell undeserving people to f*ck off when I should've been putting myself first."
"Lessons learned."- MrsHppy
Not Having Enough Fun
"So, this is gonna sound kinda dumb, but I kinda wish I had acted out a bit more."
"Taken more risks, gotten in trouble more, explored and pushed my boundaries."
"I was pretty sheltered growing up and really wanted to be this good person."
"It created a lot of conflicting feelings for me."
"It also contributed to me avoiding doing some stuff cause I thought it'd be bad for me."
"Now that I'm older and worked through some of those issues, I feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff other people got in their teens and 20s."
"I'm now at a point where I'm exploring that, but most people my age have already gone through it."
"I just feel like I'm trying to 'catch up' with everybody."- animewhitewolf
It's only human to look back on things we regret, or wish we had done differently.
But living in the past will only keep us in the past.
The only way to move forward and make progress is to accept the present for what it is: a present.